Where do I start?

sinkin

Well... I've been reading up on here for a while, and think I need some help

I've been on a DMP with CCCS for about 7 months now, with my (soon to be) ex partner. We got on ok for the first few months but he's become so unbearable that we are on the verge of separation! We've always had an up/down relationship but I can't take anymore! This weekend alone he's been out drinking everyday and night! he didn't get in till 3.20am last night. anyway to cut an awful story short.. spending money we don't have. We've also got 2 kids under 8 and I want out!

I think the only option for me is bankruptcy, the only reason we didn't previously was because my OH didn't want to.

We have a total debt of around £54000. I have a comparison of estimated outcome between bankruptcy and an IVA, (which we thought about doing previously but we are in negative equity by at least £5000. it was rejected) My own deficiciency is about £38,449 and my OH £50,025.

I just don't know where to start! He wants to keep the house on himself. What do I do first! (go bankrupt, move out, what about our bank account??? so many questions!)

I'd greatly appreciate anyones veiws or own experiences of this! I know it may sound like I'm being a bit hasty but I can't carry on like this, I've tried reasoning with him but he's being so arrogant about it all, I even suspect that he's behaving like this to make me leave!!

sinkin

:question: Anyone?

Bethankim

Hiya,

sorry just seen it. firstly welcome.

as you have two small children first priority is to make sure you and them are in a safe new place - your stability will give them stability.

first place is to go see your local council, explain the situation and make an application for housing. his drinking and your feelings it is an unsafe environment for yourself and children could be recognized as a priority for housing. (im not saying he make it seem worse and make out your frightened of him, unless you are) but definitely seek housing first.

once your sorted seek advice from cccs again and work out whats best, do 1 thing at a time petal, in a way BR is probably your option, but settling you and your children first is most important and then sort BR..

hugs for a hard decisin but we are here and if it seems like we missed it, feel free to pm me or shout til one of us sees it

Beth
x

So_Sad_Angel

Hi Sinkin

Firstly welcome. Try & keep your head together through this.

As Beth suggests....housing is the first priority...bankruptcy would likely allow the family home to remain provided it is affordable .Depends whether you prefer to make that clean break.

Benefits are another issue ( cant see if you are earning) so have a chat with local CAB or Welfare Rights ( Council) to see what you are eligible for.

Speak to CCCS....don`t rush into BR at this stage...take advice & get your living situation on an even keel first.

Hope that helps..

Angiexx

sinkin

Thank you for your replies

I am working full time, so not sure about the benefits!

Its such a big step but I'm tired of having this feeling in my stomach everyday, I just wish it was easier.