How do you relax?

Eliza_2

I don't mean listening to relaxation tapes etc, I mean just in general. I have 3 jobs - including some self employment from home- and some voluntary work as well as all the usual family and home things (I'm separated with 2 kids and 4 grandchildren) If I'm doing something I'm always thinking I should be doing one of the other things, and then feeling guilty about not doing something else. I can't sit down to read without thinking of all the other books I haven't read so what's the point, or watch a tv programme without channel hopping. If I'm doing something with one side of the family, eg having the children during the holidays, I'm always worrying I need to help the other side to be equal; I'm taking my elderly mother on holiday in September which I'm not looking forward to and can't afford at all, and feel guilty that the dog will have to go in kennels - even though she loves them! As well as feeling guilty that i'm dreading the holiday itself!!! I'm worried sick about money as although I don't have debts I live right on the line. I'd love to try some crafts or some home makes (having watched the shabby chic and o/s boards on here for ages) but can't settle without thinking I should be spending money or time doing one of the other million of things in my life. Even going for a walk yesterday I found myself thinking, how soon will I be back as there must be so much more productive stuff I should be doing - even if there isnt!! For the last few nights I either can't get to sleep or else sleep and wake up after a couple of hours and lie awake a further 3 and am exhausted. Is all this normal? Has anyone got any good techniques to deal with it? I've got lists and have tried allotting time to each activity but I still feel guilty that I'm not doing something else instead - or that I've forgotten something vital from the list. I'd just like to be able to sit and watch a film all the way through or read a book without a nagging in the back of my head that I should be doing something else.

Have to go to work in a moment, very tired but need the money. Oh well, maybe the rant makes me feel a bit better, sorry to go on. ANY ideas would be brilliant. I'm going to try to take a few days away at the end of this week, I have a little motorhome, and will try to leave it all behind, but I know from experience that this doesn't happen and anyway, it's all there when I get back.

Help please!

Eliza

ailuro2

Stop.


Breathe.


Get out a pencil and paper and write down everything you've got that's good.

When you need another bit of paper breathe again.

You've far more than most folk on this earth and it's to your detriment if you don't stop and smell the flowers.



You're solvent, have family and a lovely dog, and are wroking for a living.

Book yourself a half hour every day dedicated to you. Do your hair or cook something nice. Have a bath with fluffy towels, change the bedsheets simply because fresh be dlinen is lovely.

Simple things make us happy.:D

Sailor_Sam

Well it's a relief to know i'm not the only one to feel guilty if i sit and do nothing.
From the first thing in the morning until the last at night, i make lists in my head over the jobs that need doing.

tanith

I found I did this when I was working full time, its maybe because you do have a limited amount of time for each task and you are always trying to find ways to cram it all in. Lots of responsibilities that you need to try and let go of a little... , I found it so hard not to be involved in everything mt family were doing but learnt that they can just do without my input and life carries on.. I was in a similar family situation although I have remarried now that I was always trying to be both Mum and Dad to my kids and grands but its ok to just let it go and do your own thing first and not put EVERYONE ahead of your own needs...
I am now retired and there were lots of things I wanted to do , to relax I now go swimming alone that is such a different experience to when I used to take the grandkids when it was packed with screaming kids , now I go when its empty and peaceful its wonderful. I go for a bike ride or I walk and try to concentrate on the sounds and sights rather than whats at home..
Its hard after years of doing that but you can do it little by little and find time to smell the roses.. good luck , go sit in the sun and read a book...

SugarSpun

I'm ferociously Type A. To relax, I make a to do list of everything that needs to be done. Then I prioritise it into "very soon", "soon", "eventually" and "wish list". Then I do something off the "very soon" list. And then, because it is all under control, I allow myself an hour or so to do something purely for the enjoyment of doing it. If "clean the bathroom" is on my immediate list, I'll clean it and then take a lovely smelling bath in it to celebrate having cleaned it as well as my "me" time. And I take a book in there too so I'm not just sitting around.

I relax by being on top of things. It sounds like you're on top of your own stuff and just worried about not being better at it. Good enough is, well, good enough. Don't worry.

Bronnie

Eliza, I wonder if reading this book might help you get a different perspective.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dont-Sweat-Small-Stuff-Stuff/dp/0340708018

( or try your library)