Admitting BR to your children

mustbedebtfree

I can understand where you are coming from, except i am doing it the other way around. I have to tell my mum, who is a major stresser and will worry about everything

As a parent, what would you do if the shoe was on the other foot?? (sorry feel a hijack in progress, should maybe have started another thread)

MBDF

philnicandamy

mustbedebtfree wrote: »

I can understand where you are coming from, except i am doing it the other way around. I have to tell my mum, who is a major stresser and will worry about everything

As a parent, what would you do if the shoe was on the other foot?? (sorry feel a hijack in progress, should maybe have started another thread)

MBDF

You may be suprised....my parents are both serious stressers & i'd dreaded what I was going to say....I wrote a few bits down & sat mum & dad down to tell them

They were brilliant....didnt react half as what I thought they completely understood my reasons & actually praised me for tackling the prob

mustbedebtfree

philnicandamy wrote: »

You may be suprised....my parents are both serious stressers & i'd dreaded what I was going to say....I wrote a few bits down & sat mum & dad down to tell them

They were brilliant....didnt react half as what I thought they completely understood my reasons & actually praised me for tackling the prob

Thats very reassuring!

I worry because i think my mum who is financially secure-ish would attempt to take out a loan etc to help which i really don't want and won't allow. It's my mess and I have to solve it. I also think she'll feel guilty a bit as i wasn't "technically" insolvent while in the parental home (even though i was up and over in debt) since i was polietly asked to stand on my own 2 feet, i am now 100% insolvent with rent etc to pay

I really don't want her to feel guilty as i was the one that accepted every bit of credit offered to me for the past 6 years and hid the amounts from her so she wouldn't be disappointed. (have older brother very big shoes to fill so to speak)

MBDF

philnicandamy

you'll be suprised when you talk to her....trust me they'll support you anyway they can & I very much doubt that mum will be feeling guilty..if anything she'll be glad you tackled the problem & found the solution

they'll still love you to bits & think no bad of you....

Merry_Gentry

My mother was amazing when I told her - I was really worried as I live so far away and don't see her as often as I wish. She asked loads of questions, went away and did a bit of research, and asked a few more. But the best thing she said to me was that she trusted me, trusted that I had looked into things properly and was doing the right thing. At a time when I was feeling like a complete idiot for things going the way they had, it meant a lot.

Feelingfoolish_3

Hiya, I told my mum and dad at the beginning of the year I was thinking about it but since then I was trying my best to tackle my debts, overtime etc but thats stopped now and they were shocked but supportive. Ive said nothing to them since but will have to now. I was just worried they would do something daft like a remortgage and there is no way I would let them so Im going to tell them when Ive gone bankrupt, I think.....

As a parent... if it was my child - full support all the way x

headoutofsand

I think you will find that kids are more clued up than you would like to think. The older generation are still somewhat behind the times and take BR in a different light, holding on to the embarrassment, and frightening prospect's of going BR as was in the not to distant past.

The kids of today have grown up or are growing up in a completely different environment to the old way, which may make them more aware of current problems in the world as we now know it. Celebrity has made such incidents of drug abuse, alcohol abuse, extravagance, death and BR part of an acceptable culture. Hopefully youngsters will think more about the environment in the future and less, lots less about celebrity,money and Mcdonalds

Feelingfoolish_3

The examples we set out kids eh! But this is a good example of how not to mess with money (well in my case anyway!)

wayforward_2

my parents have been fantastic - bailed us out over the years so much i don't want to think about it! They were very supportive when we set up the DMP earlier this year and confessed the level of our debt. When we talked over our BR decision they were scared and being older as another poster said, thought there were far more restrictions / stigma. They went away and did some research and came up with some questions which also clarified things for me re the BI etc and are now in agreement that BR really is the best course of action.

As for the children - haven't told them specifically but they know that we are trying to sort out our finances and we've had many many discussions about saving 10% of your earnings from the very first time you get some money for a "one day" fund - 16 year old is in a saturday job and getting pretty good at it! Hopefully i can pass on the benefit of my late found wisdom!