My old mum, help please

xxvickixx

I know that NCT hire out valley cushions for mums after childbirth, they distribute the weight evenly as opposed to a rubber ring. Sorry to hear about this it must be awful for your family and poor mum. I would keep pushing the doctors as everyone else has said. By the sounds of it, and the fact that you are seeking help on this forum you are doing what you can for your mum, she is lucky to have you fighing her corner. x

jeannieblue

Oh Bless you and bless your poor mum. I often wonder why some of these places are called 'care' homes - when it seems that they don't!

We all (hopefully) will get old and the thought of being in this situation is alarming. My poor Dad was in a terrible ward for the last few weeks of his life. As soon as you opened the door all you could smell was urine and the nurses were just so slovenly. They can't even walk - but just shuffle about (slowly), often chewing gum, talking to each other, often in a language that I couldn't understand. The patients didn't seem to exist.

It would seem, sometimes, that when you become old, you also become invisible.

I remember visiting one person once in a hospice, wonderful place, wonderful care. The relatives of this lovely lady had put pictures of her when she was young and vital and very much alive, all round her bed. It made her more into a real person for the nurses etc., as she was at this time pretty much out of it on heavy drugs.

I know it sounds like I digress and I am not offering anything really constructive for the OP - but I do recommend putting photo's of your mum around her room of when she was young. It helps to remind people that they will be old one day too - as was your mum was once young. If that makes any sense.........

I hope that you get this resolved soon and your lovely mum is more comfortable. My nieces husband is a care worker in a home - a lovely home, and he is adored by all the people in there. He's a lovely lad - if only there were more like him. Its even more of a shame that he is paid such a poor sum and it makes you realise that you do get what you pay for. Homes should get in decent carers and give them a good wage, if you don't - they'll leave and you get people that don't really give a damn, with exceptions of course, like my niece's husband and alot more like him but not near enough of them.

Sorry I've gone on a bit - but it all makes me so mad!!!!!!

beccam

I'm sorry to hear about this, there are a few things to be looked at...

Ask the nursing home to see her care plan regarding pressure area care (they may title it slightly differently) but there should be a 'score' given which marks how "at risk" your mum is of developing pressure sores. This was probably done when she was first admitted to the home but may never have been updated. If she now has discolouration she will be more at risk and should then get a pressure relieving mattress and cushion.

The nursing homes are reluctant to rush into pressure relieving equipment because they have to rent it at high cost but it is their duty of care so push for it if it is really required.

As PP said, ask about her continence, hygiene etc etc. Quite often the residents who are mobile are left with a basin to wash themselves and this means your mum is probably not getting enough help with her personal needs. Most residents will only be bathed or showered (at the most) once a week and this should be recorded in your mums notes. You can request this to be done more often and also check it is being done at all!

The other question I have is whether it is a NURSING home or a RESIDENTIAL home.....are there nurses there or just carers/senior carers? If it is a nursing home then district nurses won't be going in as the nurses 'in house' should be doing wound care etc though you can ask for a Tissue Viability nurse referral, some may come out or she can be seen at hospital.

As others have said push with the GP aswell, make a note of how long this has been going on for, how many different creams have been tried, if there has been any improvement or deterioration in her skin condition and then put it to the GP as inappropriate treatment of her condition if he has not made further investigations and referrals.

If the skin is broken at all then swabs should be sent to check for infection and further treatment is needed asap to prevent it breaking down.

Never be afraid to push push and push some more, many nursing homes have good staff but just not enough to go round and struggle to cope with it all so it does no harm to give reminders that you are there and concerned. Many GP's can't be bothered with the residents as it is so much extra work for them and some who are good doctors just don't have the time to go assess each patient so give telephone advice which just isn't enough.

I hope you get something sorted and feel free to PM me if you want.

londoner1998

jeannieblue wrote: »

Oh Bless you and bless your poor mum. I often wonder why some of these places are called 'care' homes - when it seems that they don't!


It would seem, sometimes, that when you become old, you also become invisible.

I remember visiting one person once in a hospice, wonderful place, wonderful care. The relatives of this lovely lady had put pictures of her when she was young and vital and very much alive, all round her bed. It made her more into a real person for the nurses etc., as she was at this time pretty much out of it on heavy drugs.



Sorry I've gone on a bit - but it all makes me so mad!!!!!!

Hello OP- oh, I feelfor you and your mum... I go mad at these things, i feel very strongly about this. I agree with Jennieblue- a few nice photographs around the room and bunch of flowers...make the room nice and cosy for her...and push and push until they listen to you. Mention Panorama- did you watch the undercover research in the home cares? A few people got in trouble for the lack of care and respect for elderly patients and their dignity. In the meantine, I would say make sure she is not putting up with having soiled herself and not been cleaned- that will surely be making burns in her legs. Take notes of how often she has been washed and how you find her when you visit her. I send you hugs , it is a very upsetting situation to be in.I really hope you get it sorted. The most important things is that she is as comfortable as possible and taken care of.