Ex pertner trying to stop payments

beclee

Hi
Just wondered if anyone could offer me any advice?
I split with my ex husband 7 years ago, for the first few months he paid maintenance to me on a private agreement and saw all 3 children regularly. When he met a new girlfriend who was only 16 he stopped seeing them and paying any maintenance so i contacted the csa. It took 5 years to get any payments from him and for the last two years he has been paying through a deduction from earnings order. Anyway he started seeing the children a few months ago and spends one evening a week with them (they sit in his flat watching tv - quality time!!!) his flat is in the town centre and the last few times my older two have been asking him for cash to go into town rather than sit watching tv he has given them a fiver each time.
`This week when they visited he told them that he wasnt going to pay the csa anymore as i was spending all HIS money on my new boyfriend instead of them as they asked him for cash. He reckons he will keep the cash and give them money when he sees them.
Can he do this??
The way i see it is the money is paid to me as i have the major expense of all 3 children how i choose to budget is my choice. My wages and wtc are paid weekly so i use the monthly payments from the csa for family treats and monthly bills. I dont see that he can question what i spend the money on as all my money goes on my family, my boyfriend works and contributes more than 4 times the maintenance my ex pays yet he doesnt complain when his wages gets spent on children that arent his

sorry to ramble so much but im worried that he could get the payments stopped and im furios at the way my ex spoke about my partner in front of my children
any advice is really appreciated
thanks
Bec
x

catenorfolk

The moment the the payment doesnt reach your account you need to be phoning and phoning and phoning the CSA. You have to keep on at them, write names times and details of the calls. unless the payments are coming out directly from his wages as a deduction he is able to stop paying, altho he shouldnt. but you need to chase the csa continuously to chase him. Ignore what he says to the kids because he obviously knows this will get back to you.

loobyloo0302

If its a deductions of earnings order, then I don't think that he himself can get this stopped. It would need to be a decision made by the CSA, that they had instructed his employers payroll department to do.

beclee

He already pays on a deduction from earnings as he has avoided paying for so many years and his arrears are over 10k.
He told my daughter not to tell me and the language he used to describe my partner was disgusting.
can he actually request the csa to stop payments so he can give money direct to the children? They never stay overnight with him and he rarely gives them £5 pocket money and can he question what i spend the money on?
thanks

mrcow

He can request what he likes - but they'll refuse him.

loobyloo0302

He can't just turn around to the CSA and say "I want to stop paying, because I'm going to give it to my kids". How do the CSA know that that is actually what's going to happen? Its none negotiable. You don't have a choice of whether you pay them or not, its not something you can just choose to do.

Just incase anyone thinks I'm a bitter PWC, I'm a NRPP, who's given up any hope of the csa treating ANY party fairly!

catenorfolk

he is just trying to scare you. ignore him and dont let on that he isgetting to you. if the kids tell you anything, just say to them that daddy just is having a silly moment and to not take any notice of him. he will stop after a while when he realises he isnt getting a rise out of you.

LizzieS_2

The only way he can avoid the DEO is to move jobs, even at that it the arrears will still accrue and he must tell the csa his new employer within 7 days.

Don't lower yourself to his level - he only wants an argument over money. Politely and firmly explain to him the children want time with him, they are only asking for spending money to go out because they are fed up of watching TV, 7 years absence means he has through his own choice missed out and now needs help in knowing what the children do/do not like.