Is it worth the hassle - firing a bridesmaid?

SmlSave

I have 28 days to go till my wedding day and I am so angry at bridesmaid A.:mad:

She had a very public go at bridesmaid H on facebook (for all our friends to see) accusing her of ruining my hen-do and not caring about me because H told people to wear jeans which A didn't like.

Its ridiculously petty and I'm sure there must be more behind it. I'm meeting up with A on Monday but that seems years away

I think I would feel differently if the argument had been face to face or even over the phone but on facebook now its in writing and everyone can see it.

I'm not sure how I'm going to enjoy having them as bridemaids if they're glaring daggers at each other all day. I'm stressed enough about it now. And it doesn't help that OH hates A's partner..and I realise that I spend quite a bit of time defending A.....but H did have a moan about A to everyone who would listen a few weeks ago....

I wonder if you could advise your thoughts on the matter? Should I see how it goes? Fire one or both of them? Threaten them? or just hire assssins?

Yellowbug

talk to them both and see what they say, explain you are stressed enough as it is without all this

or
tell them to sort it out or there out?
harsh but might make them realise how stupid they are both being (bound to be both of them rather than just one)

Blackpool_Saver

yes, both out.

kelda_shelton

Oh dear!!

I'd ask them to delete the fb messages. Its easy to delete them

*Louise*

I've heard of bridesmaids doing far worse tbh

Just sounds like a petty squabble to me. If any of the fb comments had been about you then, fair enough I would advise you to get rid. But they haven't - they have just had a little spat with each other.

You are all adults, surely a quiet word with them saying you really don't need their attitudes to each other spoiling your preparation for your big day, could they please delete all the messages and if they can't get on...then flipping well ignore each other!

Unless you don't want to be friends with them anymore? Cos if you 'fire' them, I'm guessing you won't be on their Christmas card lists
x

debs2327

yep id put ya foot down with both of them making sure that if its not sorted out between them both you would kick them both out of the roles , i sympathise with you as ive had problems with a bridesmaid but its because shes hasnt tried to be involved , you shouldnt be getting stressed at this point over 2 adults that should know better , get them told hun xx if needs be find 2 stand ins just incase x

Sammy_Girl

Oh SmlSave, you really don't need this right now! Tbh, if you're BMs aren't friends to start with then it will prob always be quite strained. I've got 4 BMs and none of them knew each other before - and there have been a couple of catty comments but nothing too serious. I would ask them to delete the FB messages and tell them it upsets you. Also have a fair but firm word to say that they just need to grin and bear each other. They don't really have to talk to each other - if they were proper mates then they would understand.

Or, you could try and force one to "resign" lol

Good luck

mrshaigh2b1987

id tell them that they sort it out and be civil with each other or they shudnt be bridesmaids. Just explain to them that u dont need the added stress that they are causing x

rinroo

Right my two pence worth.

I 'dropped' two of my bridesmaids due to them both shunning me at a family funeral - after offering the olive branch one two many times and countless attempts to put right something i did not put wrong in the first place, i gave up and dropped them.

It has made things 10 times worse, one of my sisters has even told a mutual friend she wont be attending my wedding - i'm not to worried about this as she does this a lot and has always had a maris piper on her shoulder, but they wont answer texts, calls or chat on fb.

What I am trying to say is - think long and hard before dropping one or both as it makes things worse not better. They are adults after all, I'd just tell them there are enough things to stress you out on the run up to the big day without them two falling out and you playing piggy in the middle - if they cant sort it out then neither of them can be your maids - it might make them realise how childish they were behaving.

hope you manage to sort it out.

TangledMemories_2

I had to fire my chief bridesmaid. She was my best friend from school.
Long story but in a nutshell:
She turns up on my doorstep with her 3 year old son in November asking could she stay a couple of days because her housemate had emptied her bank account and chucked her out. Being the good friend I was, I of course agreed.
3 months later, she was still in our house. Her child wet the bed on Xmas Day...by New Years' Day, the sheets had not been changed....not even attempted to clean them. We were going out to work in the early hours and coming home to a tip...nothing prepared as a meal.
She contributed approx £60 towards food in the whole time she was here....which in the end resorted to us delving into our wedding fund due to the serious incline in bills.
When we eventually managed to get her to leave (after finding out she hadn't even applied to the council for a place when she claimed she had - her dad paid for her to rent somewhere in the end), I was faced with a £400 gas bill and a £250 electric bill thanks to her.
Then when bailiffs turned up looking for her because she'd dished out our address, it was the final straw. Me and OH had come close to splitting up whilst she was here, and I was sick of being taken for a ride.
So I packed the remainder of her stuff and took it to her house. I told her in no uncertain terms that she was no longer welcome at the wedding.

Some days I miss talking to her...I miss having a best mate....but best mates dont do that to people.
At the end of the day, your wedding day is supposed to be the best day of your life....make sure you enjoy it....even if it does involve cutting a few ties.

Tang
xx

Herbiecat

God these post make me realise how lucky I am to 5 fantastic caring BM's.

I hope all of you get your probs sorted xx