Clutter busting

Bossyboots

taplady wrote:

I do this with my eldest son if his rooms a tip I just gather everything up and pile it on the bed so that he has to sort it before he can get into bed!:D

Ah, but I put it IN the bed! Seems to be much more effective as I often spread it out so it doesn't show until you turn the cover back.

zzzLazyDaisy

Can I speak in defence of the messy people?

I don't like living with clutter either, but somehow it just builds up around me :-(

I have two bins in the porch, one for junk and one for papers that need seeing to. I sit in the porch and open the mail there, so it doesn't get all over the house.

I subscribe to the Fly Lady site (see above post). Yes the mails drive me nuts, but little bits have rubbed off. One of the best bits of advice is that you can do anything for 15 mins. This appeals to me, and may also appeal to your disorganised husband. JUST 15 MINS.

Set your sights on an area that needs decluttering, set your timer, and get him to work with you. When the timer goes off STOP AND WALK AWAY.

It sounds ridiculous, but honestly, it does work. Also, start in one corner of a room. Do that bit and only that bit. Then work round the room a bit at a time. Just for 15 mins. Once a spot is cleared, it is so much easier to keep it clear.

Other things are also important - like spending time together as a couple. Fly lady says 'Friday night is Date Night'. At least then he will have some nice time with you that doesn't involve (what he might see as) nagging.

At the end of the day, some of us are just messier than others. Sorry

Queenie

zzzLazyDaisy wrote:

... One of the best bits of advice is that you can do anything for 15 mins. This appeals to me, and may also appeal to your disorganised husband. JUST 15 MINS.

This is good advice and doesn't just apply to decluttering but many other tasks too, at home and in the workplace! Particularly if you have a task or three that you keep putting off and putting off. 15 minutes might even sound too daunting for some people, so just commiting yourself to 10 mins works just as well.

zzzLazyDaisy wrote:

When the timer goes off STOP AND WALK AWAY.

No necessarily though This is one part of the "rule" that doesn't *have* to be adhered to because not all tasks *can* be achieved in 10-15minutes, or (yes, strange as it may seem) you may even get thoroughly involved and motivated to continue.

As moggins rightly says, you can't change other people, but you can change your attitude towards the problem. My DH had a pair of trainers which he held on to for years simply because they were his 'favourite'. He didn't wear them that often, just kept them. One day he looked for them and couldn't find them, hunted high and low. Unbeknown to him, I'd thrown them out months before Age is beneficial, because his grey matter isn't as on the ball as it used to be so it was very easy to get away with :laugh:

He wasn't a horder per se, but some things just didn't get parted with. Which reminds me of his football boots. When my middle son was 11yo, he joined the local rugby club and DH said he had a pair of footie boots he could use. Two weeks later, DS came home and thanked DH for the boots and asked if he could have another pair because it really wasn't helpful in match when the boots fall apart and off his feet as he's running!! :whistle: :rotfl:

Aril

We have designated tidy and non tidy areas in our house [I'm tidy and OH isn't particularly although he's a lotter better than he was 16 years ago!
I like downstairs to be tidy and I always put everything away before I leave for work in the morning. The small person tends to be fairly messy but I don't know that it's a good idea to force them to be over tidy. He has however, always put all his toys away downstairs before bed [he has a wooden lidded trunk for toys downstairs] and then we blitz his room every 6 weeks but I do make sure he helps. Takes about 2 hours but we sort out stuff for the charity shop and really do declutter. It's amazing how quickly they outgrow stuff. The other thing I do is I have a basket on the stairs where I stick stuff to be put away and then take it up as I'm passing. We each have an in tray and I sort the post out as it comes in into these [all junk mail and envelopes go straight into the recycling bag I keep in the kitchen] and I've got a notice board where I can pin anything that needs my prompt attention. I think OH is quite big enough to organise his own paperwork and responsibilites!
Aril

savingstill

I had a laugh this morning! while DS & his dad were throwing a rugby ball around outside (these sessions don't last very long!) I picked up in the living room & bought in the hoover & plugged it in ready to use, then I went into kitchen & started to sweep the floor. well, then suddenly the hoover starts off in the living room , my husband is hoovering! & THEN my son goes through the kitchen saying hes off to hoover HIS room! (there another, lighter, hoover up stairs), I,ve learned if I start something the others join in!

THIRZAH

Are we married to the same man Jays?

Seriously though my DH drives me mad. He opens the post and leaves it on the dining room table. I never know what to keep, what to shred and what to bin. He hangs his coat on the back of chairs, leaves his shoes in front of the sofa and his ties draped just about everywhere except on his tie rack . I could go on but can feel my blood pressure rising as I think about his untidyness.

To make matters worse his mother is a compulsive cleaner so everytime she comes round she acts as if I'm the untidy one!

novice_money_saver_2

I'm messy too.

I try but the mess follows me.

My hubby gets very frustrated with me, but we muddle through.

Dora_the_Explorer_5

Jays, if you've let him get away with it for 26 years and he's still doing it the habit is deeply ingrained in both of you. Try some aversion therapy: chuck everything he puts down in the wrong place in a bin liner and at the end of the first day tell him you're doing it to make his life easier as everything he needs will be in one place only. Keep filling up the bags - a good place to store them is on the floor at his side of the bed so they're nice and handy for him. Don't argue - he won't be very happy but if you respond to everything he says by saying 'It's the only way I can cope' he should get the message. How long that takes is something only you and he can decide. Good luck, I once had a BF like this who drove me up the wall with his horrible habits so you have all my sympathy.

Sweet_Pea_2

Thiraz your OH sounds like a twin brother to mine and it drives me NUTS. Also at the weekend if Im out and he is at home with the kids then the mess is tripled as he lets them make as much mess as they like and does not make them clear it up.
I open his post now, and I bin any junk mail before he even sees it, (before I married him and he lived at home, his mum had piles of post behind the settee, one for him and one for his dad, none of it opened) Most of his are bills anyway, which he would just pass to me to pay, he gets about one letter a month, which needs his attention.
I put his shoes, bag and coat away as soon as he comes through the door. For everything else I nag, he does exactly what I tell him for a quiet life. (Dont I sound awful) I have learned that you have to keep on top of clutter or it just grows totally out of hand. I get really stressed if I am sorrounded by clutter and I cant relax, OH knows I can only stand it for so long before I blow my stack, so if I nag him to pick his coat up off the floor or move his toolbox from the middle of the kitchen floor, its best to do it.
I dont bin his stuff 'cos he would really go mad if I did, but I will bundle the toolbox etc outside into the garden, or stuff his stuff into his car, (which incidentally is immaculate at all times and spotlessly clean) which he hates.
Edited to say - have just realized that I sound like a complete nightmare, but I am obsessively neat and OH is the opposite and this is the only way we can live together in peace. I have tried to "chill out" a little but unfortunately I am unable to change, just as OH is. He does have a few places he can leave his clutter to grow unhindered, and there is still a large bag next to our bed with his Christmas presents in which he has yet to find a home for. No doubt it will be joined next year by another bag and Ill have to label them with the date he received them!
On the other hand, in his defence, he puts the loo seat down and changes the loo roll. He even puts the loo roll inner out to be recycled, totally unagged. So he has his plus points!

emr_2

Sweet_Pea wrote:

there is still a large bag next to our bed with his Christmas presents in which he has yet to find a home for.

ditto in our house!
and the same goes for his birthday presents!

i am cluttery, in fact we are all cluttery in our house. everything is in a special place, usually on the floor or on a chair, where we can find it.

is there any hope?