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What The Hell Am I To Do

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Comments

  • slade5x5
    slade5x5 Posts: 51 Forumite
    hi

    have you ever thought about growing your own veggies in some part of you garden as this will help you save money on your food bill. I know netto's are doing packs of seeds for 19p, and while you are planting your own veg it means you are not spending money doing something else. So all in all a double money saver.

    GOOD LUCK :A
    Form is temporary class is permenent.
  • Donedoingdebt
    Donedoingdebt Posts: 1,196 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    There are many people on these boards who can give you far more practical than I can. All I will say is that you & your OH MUST work together on this. Perhaps try approaching her when she's not wanting a new couch etc. I tried hiding my debts from my OH for ages cos I thought I could work through it, but the stress of watching the post & receiving phone calls from strange women proved too much & I explained everything. That was in 2000 & it was the best thing I could have done. I can now moan to her & her to me about money & we both understand where we're coming from. In the summer of 2008 it will all be over & we intend living life to the full again without borrowing of course!
    Donedoingdebt Lightbulb moment January 2000. Debt at highest approx £102,000. Debt now (October 2009 - absolutely fork all!!!):beer:
    CSA case closed on 02/09/10 :beer::beer:
  • dottyanne
    dottyanne Posts: 1,530 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    bobbiebob wrote:
    We have and we havn't we tend to row when I try to explain just how bad things are and she wants a new couch..!

    However, now that we are fast approaching the critical point where I cannot afford to make the hefty repayments for the Tesco loan, and C.Cards, and she is also at the point where all food is bought using credit cards, we must sit down and act as unit to get through this crap once and for all, rather than getting another loan or anther increase in the mortgage.


    Brielfy for me

    Monthly Salary - £1,850
    Mortgage - £857
    Tesco 20k Loan - £345
    Missus Allowance - £400 - to pay for council tax £125 and all food for family (thats not enough with 4 and 6 old girls)
    Gas and Electric £74
    Water £30
    House Insurance £28
    Life Insurance £33
    TV Licence and basic Sky Package - £40
    Phone - £16 we dont use it much

    I make that outgoings of £1,823 leaving me £27 to pay £350+ of credit Card minimum payments..!!!

    Missus similar situation but on £500 take home per month

    We are in Deep.. i'm getting depresed again thinking about all this mess, Jeeze............................


    Hi

    I was in a similar situation with getting things through to my OH a few weeks ago - i got myself in such a state it was making me ill. I know he realised we were in debt as im sure your OH does, bu i look after (ha ha) all the bills etc and i think this is wrong in a way because it shielded my hubby from the extent of s**t we were in. After lots of moral support from my fiends on here i plucked up the courage - prised him off his PC and after printing out a full Statement of Affairs - including all the things we were behind on and amounts - i got him to look through this and digest. In fact i printed it out thrust it in his hands and left the room to make a drink while he looked at it. I must add that it has changed his attitude a lot and whilst he is still happy for me to do the day to day finances (on 2 counts as we are S/Employed) we have mutually agreed to sit down together once a month to discuss where were up to and its a weight of my shoulders.

    Perhaps you could try this too ? print out a full SOA not leaving anything off then show it to your wife.maybe then she will understand why you need to cut back NOW and start to live within means. I could never buy a weekly shop on a CC now - my attitude towards money has changed for the better but i too have a long way to go - prob about 5 years or so before im debt free..

    Good luck

    dotty anne xx :beer:
    Focusing on clearing the credit cards in 2018 :T
  • dottyanne
    dottyanne Posts: 1,530 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    :rotfl: Did i say fiends !!! i meant friends - sorry
    Focusing on clearing the credit cards in 2018 :T
  • Annie_Fanny
    Annie_Fanny Posts: 1,167 Forumite
    Bobbiebob -

    :T Congratulations on contacting Payplan - only took you a few days after receiving advice from this site - well done & very brave of you!

    Now I can't give specific advice on your questions but don't forget to put these questions to Payplan as they will be the best ones to advise. Of course you will get some great advice from the good folks on here but it is best to gather as much 'ammunition' (!) as you can to advise your final decision.

    Something I have learnt from this site is that once you have set up a DMP creditors will almost certainly try to play games, e.g. offering you low rate consolidation loans etc which if accepted could break the terms of your agreement with Payplan

    Have a look at this post from shellnsteve for an example:
    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=180914

    There are many threads of a similar vein on this board so have a look around. I remember that one poster who had taken on a DMP said that every time he/she got a letter from a creditor that they would ring Payplan/CCCS for advice. Never be afraid to pick up the phone!

    So just remember that you never have to make a decision alone....we are here for you as are Payplan!

    On another note - I hope your wife is having her 'lightbulb moment'. It will help you enormously if you are working as a team!

    Good luck Bobbiebob - and keep on posting your news!

    Annie
    Xx
    "Debt makes plans for you" - A quote from my friend Catherine. How true!
  • lynzpower
    lynzpower Posts: 25,311 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I dont know what the formulated budget will be ( you have to be able to exist on it at the very least) but you worry that OH is going to lose the "freedom" of a next card etc. She needs to wake up - big time. Its that sort of "freedom" that has put us all in the vice grip of debt. Its not freedom. its a complete smokescreen, in fact its the antithesis of freedom, as look what the outcome of that freedom is- slavery.

    Give your Oh a talking to. Sounds like she'll probably have loads of stuff to sell. Tell her to get on with it!!
    :beer: Well aint funny how its the little things in life that mean the most? Not where you live, the car you drive or the price tag on your clothes.
    Theres no dollar sign on piece of mind
    This Ive come to know...
    So if you agree have a drink with me, raise your glasses for a toast :beer:
  • JAMIEDODGER
    JAMIEDODGER Posts: 4,339 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    totally agree with lynz. your wife needs to realise that she cannot continue to live the way she has, thats why you are in this trouble..payplan/cccs, will give you a reasonable budget to live on, that many many people find is plenty......she will be able to have a new top, just not every week!!! and another thing...a next card, blimey!! have you seen the interest rate on that???? 24.9% which is horrendous!!!
    November NSD's - 7
  • Emmzi
    Emmzi Posts: 8,658 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    would she rather have a less stressed you, or a fabulous handbag collection?
    Debt free 4th April 2007.
    New house. Bigger mortgage. MFWB after I have my buffer cash in place.
  • fatbelly
    fatbelly Posts: 23,732 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Cashback Cashier
    Hi

    I think you're on the right track with all this. Sounds like you're offering around £430 per month to your creditors. I don't think you're going to hit too many problems. Use payplan to answer your questions and don't waste energy worrying about things (like ccjs) that will probably not happen.

    Regards

    fb
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