the debt free, slim, makeup artist challenge!

floris_2

hi
my name is floris .. im 40 yrs young, married, with a beautiful daughter of 10
i came across this forum whilst looking for help, after discovering my husband had got us into arond 20 k debt
initially i was ready to leave, but when the shock eventually wore off and he confessed that hed hidden most of the debt to protect me from any further pain (as we had a still born baby girl last year) i decided to give him another chance - he too has signed up to the forum, but i'll keep his name anonymous
his debt has made me look at my own income/outgoings and i have worked out that i owe around 4k myself which is stopping me from moving forward in all aspects of my life
so my goals are :

1) pay off all my 4k debt, so that im DF by my 42 bday - april 11 (will post soa next week)
2) complete my makeup artist training, save (not borrow!) money to put my kit together and launch bridal makeup business - sept 10
3) lose 3 stones, so that i can feel good about myself again - no set date, but to lose an average of 3 lbs a month

wish me luck !!

floris_2

i will post my soa next week as i have to get all paper work together, but my debts are mostly next directory (boy those admin charges add up!) random credit cards (again, paying min payment hasnt helped) and few debt companies im paying silly amts for 10 yr old debts created when i was made redundant from the city - its about time they were dead and buried!

my husbands debts are caused by loans, credit cards (loads of them!) unpaid council tax and water rates .. the list goes one, im still angry but i also feel for him - he must have been living a nightmare!
the debts created over the last year, were brought about when HSBC kindly decided to cancel his 2k od facility with 2 mths notice, around the time we had a still born baby (great timing!) this caused the mortgage and all the dd's to bounce month after month .. massive charges went on and the rest is history.
he basically had to lie to me for a whole year, but my instincts told me something was up - we were both working hard and yet we never had any money - at one point i thought he had another family , was having to support 2 families (you read about this in those sunday mag supplements, lol) ridiculous i know, but just couldnt understand where the money was going, he'd get a bonus or mini windfall and it would disappear, he'd never buy anything with his birthday money etc .. it just didnt make sense and was driving me insane - so for anyone out there hidding the debt from a partner, as a wife who has just been thrown into this hell, my advice is to sit down and come clean - yes it takes courage, and it will be very hard - but im still here, yes im angry but at least im no longer wondering if he's having an affair, has a gambling habit etc .. the truth is out and and we can now try and deal with it together, im sure there will be hiccups along the way - but my husband and the ultimate happiness of my family is worth it

urg123

Hi Floris

Just wanted to say 'Happy New Diary'. There's lots of advice and support here. Keep posting - even when times are hard. It helps you get feedback and some perspective. I think your goals seem realistic. It's great that you are both in this together.

Good luck to you and your OH.

urg x x

Pamela1705

Hi Floris,

What a situation - it must have been so tough for both of you. I just wanted to say that I hope things are going ok, and good luck on your DFW journey.

ClootiesMum

Good luck on your first day of your journey - I saw your note on another thread

CM

Lemon_Tree

hi and welcome to the boards and well done for having the attitude that you have. I know you say that these are your hubby's debts but is the mortgage upto date? only keeping this and council tax upto date has to be the first priority between the two of you. Other than that, it's always recommended that you pay your debt off in the order of the interest percentage being charged and then roll that forward to the next debt as you pay it off, but then if you've been on these boards you'll know this. Good luck and keep up the battle and keep posting.

floris_2

hi lemontree
thanks for your comments, and the warm welcome!
the mortgage is in my husbands name and they have been amazing to be honest, he's paying off what he can afford each month - should be up to date by end of 2010
unfortunately the council tax is in my name also, but im classing as his debt as im paying other household bills .. again they've been fairly understanding so we're getting there little by little
floris

floris_2

ok,
this is the first entry to my diet /healthy eating diary and i havent done too well this week, lol
going to put it down as a little glitch and start over tomorrow .
although ive done pretty well today - im on phase 1 of the harcombe diet and have just started a 5 day detox .. today being day 1
i must admit i havent felt hungry at all, although have gone looking in the fridge and cupboards for something to eat just out of habit .. but i have abstained from all things that are off limits
well, most things .. i have had a stick of liquorice and 1 cup of tea, but thats not bad considering and hey rome wasnt built in a day, lol

floris_2

woops + a nectarine!

floris_2

diet : day 2

started off well, then went into work and found they were laying on a buffet for us as a treat for meeting certain targets ..

.. so i basically caved in, and gorged myself silly !!

i have decided that detoxing is not for me after all .. will return to the eating plan i love best - slimming world

so tues will officially be day 1 of my quest to lose 3 stones, lol

...................................................................................................
paying off debts :

all my dd have gone through, will update the new total 1st aug
have joined cpl survey web sites, still finding my way around these and not sure what i'll realistically be able to gain from them, but its a step in the right direction
im going to look at those free scratch cards, if someone would kindly point me in the right direction and explain what they're all about - i just keep reading posts where people have won small amts of cash on them and every little helps!
my husband and i have signed up to deliver 1500 leaflets once a month, we should get paid around £60 for this - after much deliberation, we have decided NOT to use it all for paying off debts. pretty much most of our wages goes on paying off debts, so to keep up morale we have decided to use it in other ways, we shall put £5 in the sealed pot towards wicked tickets (treat for my daughter) my husband is going to pay £10 off one of his debts, im going to put £10 towards my makeup fund, and we're going to use anything left over to try and do bits around the flat - even if it only pays for a pot of paint, a random picture or cushion .. it all helps, and its money we wouldnt have had to do things with, and will make pounding the streets laiden down with leaflets slightly bareable!

Lemon_Tree

it's a very fine line we walk on these debt free journeys isn't it. The leaflet job will help with your weight loss if you've got to walk around with them so that will be good.