Taking my wife's name

stripeyfox

I have a pretty unusual surname which caused me to be ridiculed through my entire childhood and school days. I am getting married later this year and am considering taking my girlfriends surname which is much more "normal", hopefully to prevent any kids we may have in the future from same teasing.

Does anyone have any advice on this? Can it be done? Or could any children take their mother's name without me changing mine?

Any thoughts?

black-saturn

I'd like to know the answer to that. I'm getting married in 2 years time but I have 2 children from a previous relationship. I dont want to have a different surname to them but they also hate his surname.

chugalug

I just wanted to say that no matter what preventative steps you take your kids will be teased mercilessly at school for something - anything!!

Seriously though, there's nothing in law that says your wife has to take your name or that the children have to have your name. Nothing to stop you putting your name on the birth certificate and then calling them by your wifes surname from the start.

chugalug

Black-saturn, we cross posted! In your case it would depend on whether you were married to their dad or if he had parental responsibility. If so, I don't think you can change their surname without his permission.

Just read your post again and not sure what you're asking.

In my case my children do have a different surname to me. I didnt want to keep my married name and they didnt want to change theirs. Doesnt seem to have caused any problems.

stripeyfox

chugalug wrote:

I just wanted to say that no matter what preventative steps you take your kids will be teased mercilessly at school for something - anything!!

Well I did think about that. Maybe being teased about a surname is the lesser of many evils!

full-time-mum

stripeyfox wrote:

I have a pretty unusual surname which caused me to be ridiculed through my entire childhood and school days. I am getting married later this year and am considering taking my girlfriends surname which is much more "normal", hopefully to prevent any kids we may have in the future from same teasing.

Does anyone have any advice on this? Can it be done? Or could any children take their mother's name without me changing mine?

Any thoughts?

I think that you can choose whatever name you like. Not sure whether you have to marry and change by deed poll but I have a feeling not.
A friend of a friend got married and, from what I was told, they didn't like either surname so made up a new one!!!
I don't know for a fact, but I suspect that, if you kept your name, you just register your child with your Wife's name - don't know whether their are any inheritance/legal issues but a good family solicitor would surely be able to answer these or maybe even the registrar.

black-saturn wrote:

I'd like to know the answer to that. I'm getting married in 2 years time but I have 2 children from a previous relationship. I dont want to have a different surname to them but they also hate his surname.

My friend has a child from a first marriage "Child Name1", and a second from her new relationship "Child Name2"
She changed her name by deed poll to Mrs Name1-Name2 and it seems to work for her.
She wasn't married second time so partner was just Mr Name2, but I see no problem with Mr Name2 and Mrs Name1-Name2, whether hubby-to-be has different views, I have no idea. Also remember,
1: that it is quite the norm these days for children to have a different surname from Mummy and Daddy
2: Your children may want to keep the link to their biological dad.

Hope this helps.

gooismeid

There are no laws in England which say you have to keep your own name or take someone else's when getting married, whether male or female - when I married I kept my own name, hubby kept his, and we decided the kids would have my surname because it's more interesting than Smith (his name!). It is entirely up to the parents to choose a child's name, both first name and surname, there are no laws which say it has to be mother's name or father's name. The main thing is consistency - i.e. you can't be known as Originalname on the register of voters and Newname on your passport. It's not strictly necessary to change your name by deedpoll, but it provides a useful legal document to wave under the noses of sceptical jobsworths like insurance companies. You've no idea what problems I had getting the "spouse" discount on my car insurance because hubby had a different name from me! Copies of marriage certificate, birth certificate, you name it, had to be sent by post. As previous posters said, kids often have different names from their mums & dads these days, nobody should bat an eyelid on that front.

Broken_hearted

I don't see any problem with the husband changing his name to the wifes it's not the social norm (might get a few raised eyebrows) but in an equal rights society why not.

On the issue of changing childrens names, I think it's wrong chilren have their own names and may get confused if it keeps changing.

Bossyboots

I think we should have a "sticky" that sets out the rules on name changing as it comes up so often and people constantly refer to using a Deed Poll which is totally unnecessary.

A misnomer in our laws means that while a wife simply has to produce a copy of her marriage certificate to evidence a change of name, the same does not apply to a husband.

However, you can call yourself by any name you wish provided you do not do so with the intent to deceive. Because of money laundering and identity theft, you are now required by most organisations to provide evidence of your name change. Far from being a "jobsworth" situation, this offers some protection against theft and fraud. Evidence of the change of name is simply done by a short declaration that you have renounced your original name and from now on wish to be known as .......... You then need to get this witnessed by a solicitor for £5.

As has been mentioned, you cannot change children's names unless all parties with parental responsibility agree. Where only the mother has PR, she can do the name change without reference to anyone else.

Bales1983

Why dont you change your name by deed poll or that renounciation thing BEFORE you get married, have a discussion and pick a name everyone likes, so it will be just yours before you marry and everyones after?



Lee

black-saturn

OK this was what I meant to say. I have 2 children from a previous relationship which failed. They originally had his surname but I changed their surname to mine by deed poll as he gave up all parental responsibility. Now I have met a nice man who I intend to marry in 2 years time. So I wont have the same surname as my children but I will have the same surname as my step child. It just feels a bit wierd and betrayal to me.