18 months and still got nowhere!

laurenjs88

I'm getting so frustrated with the length of time its taking to get anywhere with my csa case and it seems so simple. My ex was on benefits and now he's self employed his business has expanded rapidly over the last year and he is earning alot by the looks of it, yet pur case is tied up with the criminal compliance team like it has been for the last 7-8 months, all they keep telling me is he's refusing to answer letters etc... and they are going to send someone out to see him at home.

Why dont they do it then?? I understand they are busy but his arrears are mounting and whilst im waiting for my start date for work me and DD are struggling! I've asked him to come to a private arrangement with me i said if he gave me £20 a week i'd cancel the CSA case and he'd never hear from us again but as ususal i got the bogus "if you claim child support ill shut down the business & go back on the sick" that was november last year the last time we spoke i think.

I don't begrudge him or how his business is doing im glad that he seems to be finally growing up and sorting himself out but its been 18months and he's brought his daughter 2 stairgates after she fell down the stairs and paid £10 in maintenece whilst he was on the sick grand total of £54 since she was born and he's only seen her 4 times!

*although i am glad he chooses not to be involved with her but his lack of contact isnt related to CS*

How can i nudge this process along? everyone at the CSA ive spoken to has been friendly but hasnt been able to do anything! its blood boiling!

brians_daughter

sorry to here your story.

Try my trick.. call twice a week for 'updates'

Ring your MP book a vsit ASAP... I will bet you a months salary that it is moving along at lightening speed within 6 weeks of MP being involved.

Also, buy a notepad...every time, date and person you spoke to...every word that was said.

I call off my mobile and get them to call my mobile back then i record the calls then move to my pc- ok sounds a bit stalker behaviour but trust me you will probably need all this in order to get anywhere with them!!

hth and good luck

brians_daughter

and - they cant get blood out of a stone if he is SE then it can be a long battle as there is no DOE that can be done etc... good luck keep us posted

DUTR

Sorry but reading the OP twice, OP says they are struggling, then goes onto say give us £20 a week and case closed, you maybe glad NRP is not involved with the child , but the child may not be, seems a battle is going on between to the 'parents' .
Good luck with the claim though but please as adults, sort yourselves out

laurenjs88

DUTR wrote: »

Sorry but reading the OP twice, OP says they are struggling, then goes onto say give us £20 a week and case closed, you maybe glad NRP is not involved with the child , but the child may not be, seems a battle is going on between to the 'parents' .
Good luck with the claim though but please as adults, sort yourselves out

DUTR whilst i appreciate your response, my ex and i split the day we found out i was pregnant, he tried to get me to have an abortion, used our daughter to get back into my bed when he decided to play the doting dad when she was 5 months and i was suffering with PND my daughter is 18months and has no idea who her "father" is.

There is no battle i've offered him alot of chances to be involved but he doesnt want to be.

Yes i asked for £20 a week out of sheer desperation that £80 a month untill i start work would be all i get anyway, im paying off aload of debts still from our relationship 3 years on which he refuses to acknowledge or help us out with.

I am the adult in this, unfortunatly the NRP refuses to acknowledge his little girls existence so believes that he shouldnt support her upbringing. We haven't spoken in months so i dont understand how there could be a battle going on?

Hope that clears up a few uncertianties

DUTR

laurenjs88 wrote: »

DUTR whilst i appreciate your response, my ex and i split the day we found out i was pregnant, he tried to get me to have an abortion, used our daughter to get back into my bed when he decided to play the doting dad when she was 5 months and i was suffering with PND my daughter is 18months and has no idea who her "father" is.

There is no battle i've offered him alot of chances to be involved but he doesnt want to be.
I am the adult in this, unfortunatly the NRP refuses to acknowledge his little girls existence so believes that he shouldnt support her upbringing. We haven't spoken in months so i dont understand how there could be a battle going on?

Hope that clears up a few uncertianties

I'm not getting at you honestly, as an NRP I can tell you from my own similar story, I found out my 'ex' was expecting about 6 weeks after we had already parted (was a shock for both of us) it was 4 yrs before I decided to have any involvment then I was around for around 3 yrs until I felt I was being taken advantage of, but anyways short of it is I just pay and dont bother beyond that point, if it was up to some posters on the forum, I should be locked up or other sanctions until I play the inferior species and a slave . Anyways the pwc has since realised the money aint everything but now the situation is back where it suits me, just pay what is due and thats it, I dont have to be judged as a person as to how much I dote over offspring, bet there are plenty of children at school this week, upset that their father is not around for them to be making a fathers day card etc.