18 and not enjoying my job

TheEffect

My name is Jake. I'm 18 and have finished 6th form. I have been given a job working as a Teaching Assistant which I started a few weeks ago. I also have a part-time job elsewhere which I work at weekends.

Before starting this job, I knew it was going to be hard. I'm not a very confident person myself, however since being at this job, I've felt very low and am not enjoying it. Mainly because of the stick that I get from the kids. It's such a hard job trying to help a child in a classroom while others are constantly trying to annoy you and just be verbally abusive.

I was going to University this year, but canceled as I was given this job offer, as well as I want some time off from learning. I thought it would be a great opportunity to do this job, but I'm really not enjoying it, and after only a few weeks, I dread getting up to go to work.

I have a few options. Stick at the job, and the part-time job (that I do enjoy) and ride it out for a year, being unhappy and probably getting depressed, quit the TA job and change my part-time job to full-time (I enjoy this job, but it's low pay and doesn't really lead to anything), or look for an apprenticeship in something that I enjoy and quit both jobs.

I'm really confused, not sure whether this is just a gap year or not, as i'm still contemplating University for September 2010. I'm working 6 days a week at the moment, for around £200 a week.

I'd probably not think twice about staying at the TA job for much longer if I still didn't enjoy it, however the lady that employed me kept the position free while I was completing my last few exams, I know her very well and she's been great towards me, so I don't want to let her down.

Confused, need some advice!

dan_essex

Hi Jake
I hope this doesn’t sound patronising, but this is my take on your situation.

-Most people NEVER stay in their first job.
-Most people don’t know what they want to do/be at 18. Some of my friends are 30 and they still don’t know! Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out in your own good time.
-it is not too late to go to uni in September; you’ll get a place through clearing easy.

From what i see, you want to go to uni, but want to some time out. Don’t get stressed though, you’re still young and it doesn’t matter if you go to uni at 18, 19 or 20. I actually went to uni at 21, and it really doesn’t matter.
Best thing to do is list the things you enjoy, and look at jobs which relate to it. You will then get a rough idea of what degree you want to do, if indeed you want to go to uni.

Oldernotwiser

Were you doing the TA job with a view to eventually training as a teacher and, if so, does this mean that you've changed your mind about your future career?

If you're thinking of an apprenticeship then I'd wait to see if you can actually get one before making a decision about these jobs; in many areas they're like gold dust and most will have been taken by now.

Have you thought about discussing this with a Connexions PA, preferably someone with a careers background?

TheEffect

Thanks for your replies. I definitely don't want to go to University this year as I know I'm not ready for that yet. I've studied for so long and just want a break for now.

I used to go to the school I work at, hence how I know the teachers well. The school has a Connexions PA but she helped me get the job, so it seems like I'm throwing it back in her face if I tell her Im thinking of quiting after a week.

No, I don't plan on being a teacher. I am near positive of that now, after only a few weeks at this job.

I seem to be so worried about letting other people down, that Id do things just to keep everyone happy.

I work at a cinema as part time. They would put me on full-time and I enjoy the job, but serving popcorn and monitoring screens doesn't really leed to anything.

Only 4 weeks left of this school term, so going to work these four weeks and then make a decision over summer holidays, which I'm not being paid for.

I'm really worried about letting the head of learning support down after she has been great to me and we are very friendly.

I feel even more depressed now.

-BA-

There is absolutely nothing wrong with not knowing what you want to do. How about a completely different angle on things. Have you thought about taking a year out? How about trying to reignite an interest in your desire to want to help kids, but in a very different environment? It could also do wonders for your confidence.

http://www.vso.org.uk/

It could be a life changing experience and at your age it is without doubt the best time to consider it.

As dan said though, the clearing process is very handy and many people choose not to take up their positions at Uni, freeing them up for others.

TheEffect

VSO looks very interesting. I'd love to see parts of the world and help other people. Will have to look into that. Thanks.

Oldernotwiser

-BA- wrote: »

There is absolutely nothing wrong with not knowing what you want to do. How about a completely different angle on things. Have you thought about taking a year out? How about trying to reignite an interest in your desire to want to help kids, but in a very different environment? It could also do wonders for your confidence.

http://www.vso.org.uk/

It could be a life changing experience and at your age it is without doubt the best time to consider it.

As dan said though, the clearing process is very handy and many people choose not to take up their positions at Uni, freeing them up for others.

VSO is excellent but they don't usually want inexperienced young people with few skills.

A more practical possibility would be to look at working with CSV (Community Service Volunteers). They DO welcome young people and put them in placements where they live away from home and receive free accommodation and living expenses for 4 to 12 months. www.csv.org.uk

OP, the Connexions PA at your school is unlikely to be a trained Careers Adviser. If you ask at the Connexions Centre they should be able to arrange an appointment with someone who is.

mountainofdebt

Jake

The one thing that struck me is that if you are working in the same school that you studied at then that might be part of the problem.

By that (and I don't knwo the age of the children in the class) is that the children see you as still being one of them, so to speak, so perhaps don't give you the same respect as perhaps they would a stranger. Also the teachers may be having a bit of difficulty in adjusting to your new role so perhaps making the situation, unconsiously, harder for you.

The end of term is nearly upon us so I would grin and bear it for the next four weeks and then over the summer you can think about your options.

Don't worry about letting people down - you will spend alot of time in work and you need to be happy with it.

good luck

sidefx

You are too young to let work get you down

Move on, try something else and enjoy your life

You can always go back to teaching:A

Good luck x

TottalyLost

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh - I was just about to suggest VSO but someone has done that already.

I have a very confused 19 yo daughter at home - last A-Level exam this Friday but she has withdrew from all offers she had for Uni places as she was not certain about what subject to study so waiting for clearance now.

At this age nobody should be expected to know what they really want to do with their lives so please do not beat yourself up over this.

As someone has said before - nobody ever stays in their first job through their life anymore, you are very young, you lost nothing yet - all is open to you.

You say you do not want to study this year as you are tired from all that at the moment and I understand that perfectly well.

Do you have to work?

If you do - do you need to earn a lot , are you supporting yourself?

What would you like to study at Uni from next year?

As you mention that the job you enjoy (cinema) has no prospects.. are the prospects from current job more important to you then prospects from when you finish the Uni later on?

I am asking as I get a feeling that you do not really want to go to Uni - next year or year after.... Do you feel you are being pressured into Uni education? Would you rather do something else?

When my daughter mentioned posible gap year - told her "Fine but you off with VSO" as there was no way I would have her at home and stacking shelves on night shift at Tesco at 19.

Maybe I am ramblinga bit but let me ramble a bit more as can not sleep anyway.

My dog walker used to work as a journalist and everyone thought she has gone mad when she packed up her pretty well paid and considered very exciting but most people job and swapped it for a pair of wellies and a bunch of fury creatures.

To outsiders she has "wasted" time and money at Uni. To her she has learnt that what she though was for her was really not and guess what? She is HAPPY now.

And that is most important, to be HAPPY with whatever you do.

So please stop worrying about other people and just go for what you want to go for - whichever way you see fit.

All the best and let us know how you getting on.

snowqueen555

youre young, if its making you so unhappy just ditch it