Divorced. In Debt. Trying not to be bitter. Help!

Divorced_and_in_debt

OK. After lurking on this site for months ive decided to bite the bullet and introduce myself.

I am a 43 year old male. I got divorced about three years ago - lost the house, the kids, the lot. Well no, i didn't actually lose the kids, because i get to see them most weekends - this is in addition to payments coming out of my wages for my ex-wife (who incidentally now lives with a policeman, and judging by the house they have bought is living a nicer life than me. hey ho!). Why don't the government look at your debts before taking money?

Anyway debts are:-

14,000 Llloyds; 8200 to Halifax CC (they just kept upping my limit, and I kept spending, but now they won't up it anymore); 3,500 to Egg; 800 OD; 6000 car loan. I also owe 3500 to someone called interum justita - whoever the hell they are. They send me letters and phone every day. they are very rude!! I think it may be something to do with Egg, because I havent paid them anything for a while.

I thought I was doing ok juggling my debts. A guy at work said there was nothing wrong with being it debt, its how you manage you're debt. At one point I was using my halifax card to make cash withdrawals to put in my bank account to cover egg's minimum payments. But now i have reached my limit with halifax - and they won't increase it further.

I dare not open the mail when I get home from work. And they are phoning me EVERY BLOODY DAY. these INTERUM JUSTITA people are phoning my about 4 times a day.

I am not on a big wage 16K, and can barely afford minimum repayments.

What on earth do you do?

Tixy

Hi and Welcome

Most of us have felt the despair you are currently feeling. Hopefully we can help. The best thing would be if you could post up a financial statement of affairs - it will help you understand your position fully and will help us to advise you as to the best way forward.

It may be we can help you make savings so you can afford your repayments or if not we can advise you where to go for help (and where not to go) and the best course of action (e.g. maybe a debt management plan).

Heres the link, format for MSE and post on here - http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

stressedgirl_2

Oh dear, poor you. If its any consolation there are lots of us in the same boat on here, some owe less,some owe a lot more and we all have different circumstances. I'm sure you've checked out a few other posts and have seen the problems people are having so you're in the right place!

Its probably a good starting point for you to post up your SOA so people can check that out for you, it will show your incomings and outgoings each month so it gives us a better idea of your situation. And there are several organisations that will help you to organise repaying your debts and will do this for FREE. Please look at the websites for Payplan and Consumer Credit Counselling Service (or CCCS) to get a feel for what your alternatives are. Then contact one of them to get started on tackling your debts. Be aware there may be a delay in them getting back to you as they're v busy lol.

You've done the bit many people find hardest, which is actually realising you can't manage your debt anymore and that you need help to sort it out. There's lots of support on here to do that.

It might be worth you writing to your all creditors now and advising them that you are having trouble meeting your repayments and enclosing a monthly token payment of £1 postal order. You should do this until you have a repayment arrangement in place. If you do write post the letters recorded delivery and don't sign your name just print. You can also ask them to contact you in writing only if they don't stick to this there are several good letters around about harrassment.

The creditors can't take what you haven't got and you need to be able pay all your essential bills such as rent/mortgage and utilities its just a case of you contacting CCCS or Payplan now.

Let us know how you get on and good luck I'll check in later to see how you're doing x

Divorced_and_in_debt

My statement of affairs is here! Ok, I know youll all ask me to give up smoking (i get through a pack of 20 a day), but its pretty much my only vice. And with the stress i have been through over the past few years i need something!

My income is also sometimes more when I do overtime. But there hasn't been much OT recently (my employer blames the recession) so I have just put in the minimum. However, some months i get 100 to 300 pounds more, which admittedly i often spend. When I applied for some of the loans I put my basic wage plus overtime, which is why I appear to have accumulated a lot of debt for someone who is on an average wage.


Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet
Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 1
Number of children in household.........
Number of cars owned.................... 1
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1050
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1050
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 495
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 105
Electricity............................. 25
Gas..................................... 25
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 20
Telephone (land line)................... 20
Mobile phone............................ 45
TV Licence.............................. 12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 150
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 0
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 97
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 25
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 10
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 100
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Cigarettes.............................. 100
Total monthly expenses.................. 1229

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 6000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 6000

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Lloydstsb......................14000.....222.......8.9
Halifax........................8200......160.......18.9
Egg / Imtrum Justita...........3500......0.........0
Abbey (car loan)...............6000......215.......7.9
Barclays OD....................800.......0.........12
Total unsecured debts..........32500.....597.......-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,050
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,229
Available for debt repayments........... -179
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 597
Amount short for making debt repayments. -776
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 6,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -32,500
Net Assets.............................. -26,500

Divorced_and_in_debt

stressedgirl wrote: »

You've done the bit many people find hardest, which is actually realising you can't manage your debt anymore and that you need help to sort it out.

That is it. As I said, for the past 12 months I have been using the cash advance on my halifax card to withdraw money, put it in my account, and pay the minimum on my egg card. Madness I know!

You kind of put your head in the sand and think that eventually it will sort itself out. Until you get to the point where you just cannot borrow more, and thats when i knew i had to do something - i.e. start repaying, not borrowing off peter to pay paul.

Also, I feel its going to take years to pay off my debt. And i am worried that i am not going to able to enjoy life, just working to pay off debts?

dimwittery

Divorced_and_in_debt wrote: »

My statement of affairs is here! Ok, I know youll all ask me to give up smoking (i get through a pack of 20 a day), but its pretty much my only vice. And with the stress i have been through over the past few years i need something!

My income is also sometimes more when I do overtime. But there hasn't been much OT recently (my employer blames the recession) so I have just put in the minimum. However, some months i get 100 to 300 pounds more, which admittedly i often spend. When I applied for some of the loans I put my basic wage plus overtime, which is why I appear to have accumulated a lot of debt for someone who is on an average wage.


Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet
Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 1
Number of children in household.........
Number of cars owned.................... 1
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1050
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1050
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 495
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 105 - is this over 12 months or 10?
Electricity............................. 25 - not bad - but have you checked to make sure you are with the best supplier?
Gas..................................... 25 - as above
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 20
Telephone (land line)................... 20
Mobile phone............................ 45 - this is high - are you on the best tarrif or is it PAYG?
TV Licence.............................. 12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 150 - you could cut this down by looking at the OS board for meal planning - and spending less
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 0 ?
Road tax................................ 0 ?
Car Insurance........................... 0 ?
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0 ?
Car parking............................. 0 ?
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 97 - whats this for?
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 25 this is high - have youdone a comparison and used cashback to get the best deal
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 10
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 100 - you can't afford this
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Cigarettes.............................. 100 - or this
Total monthly expenses.................. 1229

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 6000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 6000 you haven't allowed any expenses to run a car in your SOA - so do you use it?

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Lloydstsb......................14000.....222.......8.9
Halifax........................8200......160.......18.9
Egg / Imtrum Justita...........3500......0.........0
Abbey (car loan)...............6000......215.......7.9
Barclays OD....................800.......0.........12
Total unsecured debts..........32500.....597.......-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,050
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,229
Available for debt repayments........... -179
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 597
Amount short for making debt repayments. -776
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 6,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -32,500
Net Assets.............................. -26,500

Hi - a few pointers up there for you in red, however, and i don't mean to sound harsh - - you can't actually afford to live on your wages even before you take into account your debts. Have you checked what benefitsyou are entitled to? you might be eligable for some WTC, council tax and housing benefit, as your income is low.

Is your listed income after child maintenance payments?

You relly need to speeak to one of the debt charities to find out your best option - have you thought that BR may be an option for you? I say this not as an easy way out because it really isn't, but even if you cut out your smoking and entertainment, you wouldn't have a lot of surplus to throw at your debts.

Someone with more knowledge will be along to help more i am sure - but thought i would throw my opinion out there

:beer:

Horace

Hi and welcome

It has taken you years to build up the debt and it will take some years to get rid of it.

Smoking..you have said it yourself, you spend too much so how about switching to roll ups which are cheaper?

Your grocery bill is high for one person so see if you can half it - drop a brand in the supermarket, cook your own instead of relying on take outs, take packed lunches to work (more nutricious than salt filled sarnies at work and cheaper).

£100 on entertainment is also steep can you see a way of reducing this for a while? Also switch your mobile to PAYG - £45 a month is too high.

I am sure other folks will be around to add their comments too.

stressedgirl_2

Hi d&ind

Thought I'd pop back and check on you. Well done on laying out your SOA I hope you can find some time to check out CCCS or Payplan now. I've heard some good things about CCCS in particular on here. I think you can apply on line and they will get back to you.

Sometimes people can start a DMP where they pay back a lump sum each month which is divided between their creditors pro rata, or sometimes there are other options such as IVA or bankruptcy. I have no idea what will be best for you - you need professional debt advice, but whatever happens you can post on here and we can help with paperwork, letters the lot. There is a whole forum devoted to bankruptcy for example and there are some posters on here with lots of experience.

If you need a harrassment letter about your phone calls let us know.

Don't get too down-hearted, its a tough time for you so one day at a time. Whatever happens you will be left with enough to live on and eventually your debts will be officially cleared whatever route you take.

Keep smiling

Trinny

Divorced_and_in_debt wrote: »

OK. After lurking on this site for months ive decided to bite the bullet and introduce myself.

I am a 43 year old male. I got divorced about three years ago - lost the house, the kids, the lot. Well no, i didn't actually lose the kids, because i get to see them most weekends - this is in addition to payments coming out of my wages for my ex-wife (who incidentally now lives with a policeman, and judging by the house they have bought is living a nicer life than me. hey ho!). Why don't the government look at your debts before taking money?

Anyway debts are:-

14,000 Llloyds; 8200 to Halifax CC (they just kept upping my limit, and I kept spending, but now they won't up it anymore); 3,500 to Egg; 800 OD; 6000 car loan. I also owe 3500 to someone called interum justita - whoever the hell they are. They send me letters and phone every day. they are very rude!! I think it may be something to do with Egg, because I havent paid them anything for a while.

I thought I was doing ok juggling my debts. A guy at work said there was nothing wrong with being it debt, its how you manage you're debt. At one point I was using my halifax card to make cash withdrawals to put in my bank account to cover egg's minimum payments. But now i have reached my limit with halifax - and they won't increase it further.

I dare not open the mail when I get home from work. And they are phoning me EVERY BLOODY DAY. these INTERUM JUSTITA people are phoning my about 4 times a day.

I am not on a big wage 16K, and can barely afford minimum repayments.

What on earth do you do?

Hi there

i know where you are coming from - welcome

I lost everything when i got divorced - started again from scratch with the clothes i stood up in.

Just wanted to say - there is a better day coming -

There are some brilliant people on here - who can help with the phonecalls and the SOA and the repayments.

I am not an expert - but hang in there and good luck

Trinny