Help and advice needed urgently

Savvy_Sue

amberowl28 wrote: »

It's not really a case of dad not wanting to help me out but my parents don't have much and he rightly wants me to be financially independant.

So it's OK for you to drop everything (including your job) to go and help mum when she needs it, it's impossible for him to take any time off for emergency dependents' leave when your mum needs help, and equally impossible for them to give you any help at all so you can pay your rent?

And all that because he wants you to be financially independent?

amberowl28

Ok had a bad day, couldn't get appointment at CAB, told to try my luck again next week as all appointments gone. I was outside at 9 an hour before they opened! I did manage to speak to Shelter who were more helpful. Looks as if my landlady can start eviction proceedings on 20th (the date my rent becomes two months overdue). This maybe why she's holding out on sending the info for claim? Hope things don't go that far.

HB claim has been further complicated as they sent me a letter today addressed to previous tenant (only reason i know this is due recieving letters from the creditors occassionally, which i send back saying he does not live here). He hasen't lived here for 3 years. Couldn't clear this up today as their computers were down.

Dad was out so haven't yet been able to properly speak to him but i'm sure he'll help me out as it is an emergency. Though for the record after raising me, they owe me nothing. He's not mean but panicks about money. Literally 20p between brands at the supermarket troubles him never mind larger amounts. He got into serious debt when he was younger and now, even with paid off morgage, money still troubles him and he doesn't want me to go same way. More debt to the bank of mum and dad .

LinasPilibaitisisbatman

Why exactly should you be paying all this back though. It isnt so you can go on holiday or such. Its so you can care for your mum.

I suggest you ask your father to work out the cost of Hiring a FT carer or retiring himself to do the care work and then suggest that he will need to find that cash soon as you cannot continue to be the one who is financially burdened for your mothers care.

amberowl28

They never paid a penny for my medical expenses as a child of course. But yes i get your point that i should never be in this position and they owe me enough to get me out of it.

amberowl28

Got letter from JSA today and will be getting £50.95 a week! Anyone know when this is likely to be paid? Obviously will be checking account as want to reinstate DD's asap.

Savvy_Sue

amberowl28 wrote: »

Dad was out so haven't yet been able to properly speak to him but i'm sure he'll help me out as it is an emergency. Though for the record after raising me, they owe me nothing. He's not mean but panicks about money. Literally 20p between brands at the supermarket troubles him never mind larger amounts. He got into serious debt when he was younger and now, even with paid off morgage, money still troubles him and he doesn't want me to go same way. More debt to the bank of mum and dad .

This is what I don't understand: I'm not suggesting your parents could easily help you but just don't want to, I'm just struggling to understand whether your dad just hasn't grasped that you are in danger of eviction because you dropped everything to help your mum, or simply prefers YOU to get into debt rather than HIM.

And maybe he needs to read up on Emergency Dependents Leave if your mum's likely to need help again at short notice. Because if you're new to a job, the last thing you need is to be asking for time off at short notice.

Or maybe it's the daughter's job to do this in an emergency?

BTW, I hope the job hunting is going well, and that you're haunting the site when you're not doing that to pare your living costs to the bone.

Also note that you don't have to move out on the date you've been given for eviction, you can just sit tight and let your landlady take you to court. Shelter will give you good advice on that: it's not an easy situation to be in, but if there's a good chance of HB being backdated to cover all your arrears then it's certainly worth knowing that. However, HB doesn't automatically cover your full rent. Again, Shelter will advise.