Lost direction

louise30_2

Please help.

I feel like I have lost direction - and I've only been doing this a couple of weeks.
I have managed to spend less than the tenner I have put in my purse this week (apart from taking my mam out for a meal for mothers' day) and in the first week shopping was less than a tenner two. This week it was just under £15.

I wanted to do a budget last week, but it didn't happen - I just don't know what to do. I feel lost and disorientated and know I will have to spend lots of money on extra's in the coming weeks.

I'm having a tough time with other areas of my life and feel quite low. this is the sort of time when I would just go on a massive comfort-spend.

Please help - how do I get myself sorted out?

Thefunkygibbons

Write down some notes for yourself as to want you wnat to do

Then levae a couple on the fridge and by the keetle just to remind yourself

Sounds like it would be best to go shipping with a list for a while too

At least you are spotting the danger signs

QueenB.

I am in my first couple of weeks aswell and know just how hard it is as we are trying to change habits and face uncomfortable truths. It is a rollercoaster but look at the positive, you have started and have so far done well. I am struggling to do somekind of budget to and trying to sort everything out, trust me to have my lightbulb moment at the same time i have both of my boys birthdays, easter and halfterm :rotfl:

I can understand both how down you feel and the urge to comfort spend........thats why i have some of the debt i do

All i can suggest is look at all the positives steps you have made, try tackling other problems in your life in the same way (not always possible i know) remind yourself of what you are trying to achieve.

And remember on here there are people who understand and can support :grouphug:

Its always nice to have the odd treat but instead of comfort spending why not try getting some freebies of the freebie board i recieved 4 this week and i know its not the same but somehow i found them very comforting :rotfl:

BlondeHeadOn

Hi Louise30, just hang on in there. It sounds to be like a bit of reaction - you've had the 'omigod' of a lightbulb moment and putting it all down in black and white on this site, and then the euphoria of relief of having admitted it all, and having some good positive feedback. Now the pendulum has swung the other way, and you a facing a wave of depression as the enormity of it all sinks in.....

This feeling crap at the moment has happened to more than one of us on this site, I supect, and it will pass....

Don't, whatever you do, go on a comfort-spend - this will make you feel good for about 5 minutes then you'll feel even worse! Do something else to comfort yourself - get some good books out of the library and set yourself some time aside for a good long read with a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit (I think choccy biscuits might be an okay expense in this emergency situation!), invite some friends round for a cheap night in, or do whatever will make you feel cosseted but is not at all expensive!

Give yourself a pat on the back for all you've acheived so far, and don't be hard on yourself - and keep posting on here so lots of other people can send you big hugs and positive thoughts, and make it all seem not quite so bad.

Hang on in there!
Huge hugs,
:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

louise30_2

Thanks I really needed those hugs!!!!
Am I being stupid? but how do I find out about freebies

LookingAhead

Hi Louise30. First of all: Don't worry or panic! :grouphug:

We all go through this I promise.

Think about it, you are changing a way of life and these sorts of things don't happen overnight. Keep telling yourself you are taking the right steps and you are facing this.

Don't be too hard on yourself or set really impossibly high goals for yourself because if you fail to meet them (which we all would!) you will feel like a failure. And you're not a failure. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate and so you can't just take it all on and deal with everything at once.

You have to know what your life's priorities are. If there is something else besides money which needs all your energy and attention at the moment - then make sure you dedicate it. All you can do regarding money is damage limitation at the moment i.e. acknowledge you would usually go out and comfort spend but don't give in to it. Keep on spending as little as you can on groceries (without starving!).

I don't know your circumstances but as long as you are keeping the roof over your head & making minimum payments on CC's etc, then make sure your other issues are resolved before you try to take on too much on that side.

Remember: damage limitation. You can resolve not to comfort spend if nothing else. And that is a tick in the box for you.

Keep posting and reading....you will feel better within a short space of time I promise, this forum (and whole website) is fantastic.

LookingAhead

At the bottom of the screen (under these messages) go to the drop down box where it says "Forum Jump" and there are all sorts of links there.

One of them is Freebies Board etc. Enter a few competitions via the Comps board as well - they help cheer me up!

QueenB.

Just go down to the forum jump bit and you will soon find the freebie board........can get some good ones, but even a small bottle of free shower gel can make the post more enjoyable

Good luck

dudleyboy

louise30 wrote:

Thanks I really needed those hugs!!!!
Am I being stupid? but how do I find out about freebies

Here's a shortcut...

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.html?f=37

amosworks

Hey there, sorry you're feeling down But, you know, things can only get better from here if you stick with it. There will be days when you wonder why it's worth the effort to get out of bed and I'm sure you'll have lots of tears of both sadness and joy - but you'll get to that debt free paradise eventually.

I think BlondeHeadOn's idea about the cheap girls night in would be a great for you!! Who better to keep you happy than your friends?!

Boots are selling a charcoal facepacks for 33p, Lambrini about £4 and that'd be the main expenses. Free if you get your friends to pick them up on route! Get one of them to bring a good DVD, cook a cheap and cheerful meal for them all and then get drunk watching the DVD and do the cosmo sex quiz in your facepacks Cheap wholesome fun

southernscouser

Don't be so hard on yourself Louise, you are doing great! You still have some of your tenner left and you have recognised that you spent more than you wanted to in Tescos and are going to address that next week. :T

It's a gradual process. You can't do everything at once. You have turned your life around and it's gonna take some getting used so well done hun.

And you also said "this is the sort of time when I would just go on a massive comfort-spend"! The difference now is you would have done it without thinking twice. Now although you "want" to, you haven't!