Closing a case-CSA

traveller

Hi, my ex, after receiving a payment schedule from the csa, has agreed to pay me £350.00 per month, which is what i'd asked for as oppossed to the csa's 670.00-surprise ,surprise and has agreed to go halves on stuff when and as needed.He has agreed to do this by standing order.

The thing is, as he was not co-operating I did ask the csa to collect.Can I now request to go back to direct payments? This is mainly to preserve his relationship with the children-and my health.I just have better things to do than hear him going on and crying poverty to the kids and that amount and the other bits of help will be fine by me.Obviously I will not be closing anything until the standing order is in place and I'm refusing cash as advised on here, to prove that's how much he's given me.
Thanks

Thanks.

Loopy_Girl

Que surprise eh?:rolleyes:

I personally wouldn't trust him - why should you? He has gave you no reason to in the past and rather nastily told you to go to the CSA and now it has came back that he was short changing you.

On a practical note though you can tell the CSA that you are now going to accept direct payments (although if they have taken their time to make the assessment there may be arrears - it's up to you if you want to write these off).


Defo get a standing order and have him mark it 'CS payments for XXXX'

I really hope he doesn't let you down and he is getting off lightly in my opinion but I understand your point of view about keeping it friendlyish for the kids.

traveller

Loopy girl I totally echo your sentiments.I have been mulling it over In my head non-stop, as obviously, he is angry I did go to them and they dared to find not in his favour. Basically he's played the kid card continuously and the younger ones-the only ones he'll tell this too, are worried for him.Funnily enough it was only once he received the schedule he was willing to talk.Before that he was just hot air.In all honesty, I'm still kind of mulling it over as he has just been so untrustworthy of late it's appalling.

Loopy_Girl

So it's emotional blackmail then eh? Classy

Poor you x

PlayingHardball

Hi Traveller,
My experience has been that my ex did his best to poison the children about the amount of money the CSA took from him. I think you are likely willing to take less payments to avoid this?

If you do, I think the advice given by Loopy is very good. Could you also consider obtaining a maintenance order from the court and state what your agreed monthly amount would be?

It would give you some sort of extra protection should he get really nasty in future. (He sounds the sort)...not sure if this is helpful.

Kat

traveller

Hi PHB,

It's just frustrating having to tell them it's what they are due and I'm doing this so things will be better.He on the other hand Is saying this is not about the money but it's personal.He just refuses to see why he should do more without me doing this to be spiteful.

kelloggs36

Personally I wouldn't trust him as he is using emotional blackmail to get what HE wants regardless of what is actually best for the children - clearly before it was what was in HIS best interests that mattered first and foremost. I would say that you will continue with the CSA case and take full financial responsibility for the children as his assessment is so high. That is me.

Monique01

Traveller. I cancelled CSA collection services justto maintain a friendly relationship with my ex...

One day following a verbal disagreement, he stopped paying me. 14 months later I am still without maintenance.....CSA had closed the case, lost the paperwork, ex went into hiding....it has been a nightmare

my point to you is 1. beware of trusting him too quickly
2. the CSA are notoriously slow.

good luck whatever you decide.

CRANKY40

You have no need to close your case. You can swap your payment method if you want. You can make it direct pay, and two or three months down the line, if he doesn't keep his side of the bargain, you can ring and ask for collection again.

AnxiousMum

I believe that if you 'close' your CSA file, if he stops paying, you will have to start from scratch all over again. If you can do what Cranky40 suggests above - do it that way if you really feel you want to go direct.
Sorry - but a 'man' (for want of a better word in this case!) who refuses to discuss the options until an order is made that is too high for him, is not to be trusted. Neither is a man who uses emotional abuse on his children to get the mum backed into a corner to his benefit. I wouldnt' trust him at all, what he's said to the kids already - it's there, it's been said already. All you can do is maintain their trust. If you feel you could do with less, why not open an account and put the extra money into it so that when those extra expenses come up - you can just take from that account rather than having to contact him and ask him to pay half - because it'll be when you first have to do that and he says no, that you'll have to go back to the CSA.

traveller

Thankyou all so much for yor comments.I've kept the case open and will accept full financial responsibilty for the children due to the assement amount.The younger ones will realise why i've done this sooner or later.