Poem for Save The Date, opinions please?

sal-ad_daze

Hi guys,
I'm designing my daughter's wedding stationary (glup!) and have come up with this verse for her Save the Date cards.
She's getting married in August next year in Gibraltar and we want to get the STD's out asap so people can do their sums. There will be a magnet included so they can put it on the fridge or somewhere.
It's a first attempt and doesn't flow properly but is is ok, would it offend you if you received it? opinions gratefully received.



We’re really quite excited
We hope you will be too!
At last we’re getting married
And want you to be there too.
There’s just one thing you need to know
And that is the place to go.
Our wedding is quite far away ,
But we’d really love to share the day
We know you’d be there like a shot,
And we’re asking quite a lot
This ‘Save the Date’ (and really bad rhyme!)
Is sent to give you lots of time
To have a think and let us know
If you have the time to go!

morwenna

I really love the idea! And no, I wouldn't be offended

I hope you won't be offended if I offer slightly different words - I played with yours slightly, Poet Laureate, I'm not:

We’re really quite excited
We hope you feel the same way!
At last we’re getting married
And we'd love you there on the day.
There’s just one thing you need to know
Our wedding is quite far away,
So check your forward planners
We want you to share our day.
So forgive our being forward
We wouldn't want to be late
Please share in our excitement
And kindly save the date!

sal-ad_daze

Thanks Morwena,
I wasn't sure what people's reaction would be.
I was getting a bit concerned when so many people looked but didn't comment, didn't know if they hated it or what!

Mrs_Boo_Boo

That is totally fab and so considerate of others and their financial situation. Weddings are sooo expensive even for the guests. Hopefully there are a few who can attend and they will be able to negotiate a good deal on accomodation and flights.
Good luck

LeaBee_3

I think its fab 2bh - different and quite funny too (in a nice way - made me smile when I read it)

Nice personal touch too :T

LucyB-Bride_to_Be

I think its really nice! I definatly wouldn't be offended if i recieved it x

CG77

Hi there,

I think it's a lovely idea too and certainly wouldn't be offended! I've had a play with your words too (hope you're not offended-I'm no poet laureate either! :-) ) and have changed a few bits including the bit about really bad rhyme, cos it's not really bad! :-)


We’re really quite excited
We hope you will be too!
At last we’re getting married
And hope you'll join us too.
Of course some things you'll need to know
Are where and when you'll need to go.
Although it's still some time away ,
We’d really love to share our day.
So this ‘Save the Date’ (and little rhyme!)
Is sent to give you lots of time
To have a think and let us know
If you can come-we do hope so!

HTH

CG. x