I can't do this

moo2moo

You won't be the first person to be in tears to the debt charities. Don't worry about that. Blub all you want. You will feel so much better afterwards.

You'll need the following paperwork: Gas, electricity and water bills, council tax, mortgage payments, car and household insurance. They're all essential as is food. After that we'll need to know what else you spend money on regularly whether its mobile phones, childrens swimming lessons or Sky. No-one cares what you're using your money for but we'll try and help you to make the best of what you have. After that we'll need to know what debts you have. Not why we really don't care! Call them a,b,c and d if it helps. You'll find the outstanding balance, the minimum payment and the APR on your monthly statements. Fill them in to the SOA form on the link Devon Girl supplied and click on the button to format for MSE after that just cut and paste.

You still have an income and child benefit, working tax credits and anything else you can think of even if OHs customers do need a good kick up the bum. If hes done work and needs paying for it then chasing up his customers for payment would be a good place to start.

Credit card companies are going to be a pain in the bum. But at least you're dealing with the credit card companies and not debt collection agencies

BusPass_2

Facingthefuture

Sorry to learn of your worries.

I was £40,000 plus down the swannie. Kept it bottled up, hidden, didn't open mail, hid mail, kidded on it wasn't me when phone calls came in, the lot. Kept various financial institutions afloat with the interest and charges I was paying. I also had to deal with some real jobs worths that some of these institutions appear to employ just to keep you intimidated and feeling useless. Don't speak to them one to one, ever. Get CAB, debt counsellor, anyone to do it on your behalf.

I am now debt free and saving like mad.

Confronting it(and myself) was the biggest bit. Changes will have to be be made but there is a light and it will get brighter every day until this thing is cracked.

I wish you all the best in your journey.

jessibell

You know I never cease to be amazed by how supportive everyone is around here!

FTF I know where you're at, I guess a lot of people do round here. The only thing I can say is that for me, taking control again sorts me out every time. Even if it's only something small like checking my bank account and adjusting my budget. I wish I had something inspiring to say, but instead I'll send you a big old virtual hug and say there's lots of people here thinking of you right now x

newlywed

facingthefuture wrote: »

My problem is that I find it hard to talk to anyone/charity/cc company because I go off in bits as soon as they ask. How can I not cry and be together enough to look at this?

Go online to CCCS.co.uk and fill in their debt remedy online (if you can get any figures together). They will give you advice online and tell you if you need to ring them up.

I couldn't ring anyone either so opted for this route. My life is much much better now I'm on the DMP - and I have blubbed down the phone at CCCS since (over mot/money issues) and they were just absolutely lovely and took it in their stride like it always happens

fifitrix123

Oh bless you.
If you can't tell someone about how you feel then write it down like you have done here...
Your doctor or someone from CAB about the debt they can read what you are feeling while you can sniff into your tissue but they will understand why you are crying and you don't have to say anything.
You will feel much better once you write it all down or even print the pages off here and show someone, at least when you have everything sorted out you can look back on these pages and pat yourself on the back for doing something positive and you can even get some help for your parents as well.

Keep your chin up hon and show your hubby this site too so he knows how you are feeling coz bottling it up will make matters worse for you 2 as well so its better that you deal with it together as a team.

I wish you the best of luck with everything.:beer:

angelicmary85

FTF,

Keep crying, it'll get it out of your system then you'll ready to look forward...or 'face the future' :rolleyes:

Have you looked at switching credit card balances from one card to another if they'll offer you any good deals or switching to different lenders with promos on balance tansfers etc?

I think hubby has to start bullying those who've not been paying him, can you send out reminder letters or something to push in the right direction? Do his customers sign contracts or anything? (That reminds me of the builder who ripped down £15k worth of building work he'd done to the outside of a house when the people refused to pay and as they hadn't paid the police couldn't touch the builder as technically it was his materials!)
Does your hubby know the extend of the financial issues you're having? It may help him be a bit more assertive when it comes to being paid if he knows you really need his cash!!

Doing your SOA might still help as it'll still show roughly how much you're spending on things that we may be able to help you cut back on, maybe just put a rough estimate in of what your income is?

Everything will work out for the best and you'll be happy again before you know it!

hypno06

Definitely do the debt remedy on the CCCS website - it doesn't commit you to anything - just give you an idea of whether the DMP route etc is right for you. I'd bet anything, that once you have done that, and seen that there is another way for you to be heading, you will feel far more in control and will find it easier to speak to them.

But my understanding is that you can do the whole thing online if you want (although I am sure someone will correct me if I am wrong!).

Also, there is a thread at the top of this board where you can ask the CCCS a question on the thread - that way, when you think of something but don't want to ring up, you could look on that thread to see if someone has already asked it, or you could ask it yourself.

facingthefuture

Thank you so much. I ended up going to visit an elderly aunt in a nursing home, it was complete escapism - no-one there cares about money.
I have read all the above posts and they really are lovely - nobody has been judgmental. I will look at this CCCS.co.uk site and will try and get my husband to let me go to see his creditors to gee them up a bit. I have started going through all these reclaiming things and maybe something can be done that way.
Thank you again, you all bothered when I really needed it, it was like seeing little candles in the dark.:o

facingthefuture

oops sorry posted twice

maz123_2

:grouphug:just wanted to send you a big hug.
Please do a SOA and let everyone have a look, even if the only income you've got is child benefit etc and let people help. You'll feel alot better once you've seen the help you can get
maz