Advice - something I am missing maybe?

vluersdantine

To lay my cards on the line from the get-go, I have a son who is 6, and for a year of his life (age 2-3) I was unemployed, but did not sign on or even inform the CSA of my circumstances and so accrued some back pay as I "disappeared" - it was not a good time of my life and I am far from proud about it.

When I got a job, the csa set my payments at £25 per week, I got a better job but did not tell them for another year (again I went 'missing' and never thought much about the direct debit I had set up) and so my back pay instead of coming down increased.

Then I got smart, and started doing things properly. I now pay £51 per week and only have about 3 more months at £51 a week before I have paid back all I owe. I believe my payments will drop to around £35 when this happens.

However, about a year ago I moved in with a long time girlfriend, and again I think I was not very smart - she had a 6 year old, I never told the CSA as she isn't my blood child I thought it would have no effect (was I right or wrong?) Then just over 8 months ago my girlfriend (now fiance) fell pregnant. in the next week or so I'll have a daughter.

The problem with all this is money, inbetween my Son 6 years ago, and at the same time I was burying my head in the sand, I accrued a massive debt (10k plus), and I am also paying that off (I got this debt after I split with my son's mum, so again I don't think the CSA can take it into account, or am I wrong?)

This debt I have (non csa, just a bank loan) will be cleared in exactly 3.5 years time as i've been paying it off for a while already, but it is worth negative £214 a month to me. That on top of the £51 a week I am paying for my son now means we barely have any kind of life (which to be fair is no one elses fault) but I really need some help for the next few months. Can the CSA reduce my arrears payments for a few months, is it worth asking or will they just ask me to pay it all in one lump sum now i'm so close to clearing it all off? Long term me and my fiance are going to be ok, but for the next few months I have no clue how we are going to cope. I've already found out how much baby essentials cost and things like council tax and utility bills just don't go away either.

To top it all off, my Fiance's ex - the father of her 6 year old, has so far evaded the CSA for the last 6 years so any help coming from that direction isn't going to be forthcoming

This might seem trivial, but for the sake of about £30-40 a week too much going out of our household, we might be forced to lose our house and move in with parents etc, which is not going to be ideal with a newborn.

I know one comment will be try to reduce your outgoings. Believe me, all the little things like packing my own lunch, not buying luxuries, takeaways etc all kicked in about a year ago and without them we'd have been in dire straights already.

Thanks to anyone who takes time to read, thanks to anyone who can offer any kind of suggestion without judging me.

kelloggs36

vluersdantine wrote: »

To lay my cards on the line from the get-go, I have a son who is 6, and for a year of his life (age 2-3) I was unemployed, but did not sign on or even inform the CSA of my circumstances and so accrued some back pay as I "disappeared" - it was not a good time of my life and I am far from proud about it.

When I got a job, the csa set my payments at £25 per week, I got a better job but did not tell them for another year (again I went 'missing' and never thought much about the direct debit I had set up) and so my back pay instead of coming down increased.

Then I got smart, and started doing things properly. I now pay £51 per week and only have about 3 more months at £51 a week before I have paid back all I owe. I believe my payments will drop to around £35 when this happens.

However, about a year ago I moved in with a long time girlfriend, and again I think I was not very smart - she had a 6 year old, I never told the CSA as she isn't my blood child I thought it would have no effect (was I right or wrong?) You should have notified them as you would have got a reduction. If you tell them now, you will get the reduction but only from now. Then just over 8 months ago my girlfriend (now fiance) fell pregnant. in the next week or so I'll have a daughter.When baby is born, notify them again as another change in circumstances as it will reduce your liability again. For child 1 your net income will be 'reduced' by 15% and you pay 15% of what is left. When baby 2 comes along, your net income is reduced by 20% and you pay 15% of what is left.

The problem with all this is money, inbetween my Son 6 years ago, and at the same time I was burying my head in the sand, I accrued a massive debt (10k plus), and I am also paying that off (I got this debt after I split with my son's mum, so again I don't think the CSA can take it into account, or am I wrong?) As the debt was accrued AFTER you split, it will have no bearing on your CSA liability at all.

This debt I have (non csa, just a bank loan) will be cleared in exactly 3.5 years time as i've been paying it off for a while already, but it is worth negative £214 a month to me. That on top of the £51 a week I am paying for my son now means we barely have any kind of life (which to be fair is no one elses fault) but I really need some help for the next few months. Can the CSA reduce my arrears payments for a few months, is it worth asking or will they just ask me to pay it all in one lump sum now i'm so close to clearing it all off? Long term me and my fiance are going to be ok, but for the next few months I have no clue how we are going to cope. I've already found out how much baby essentials cost and things like council tax and utility bills just don't go away either. You should qualify for more child tax credits once your baby is born - but that is taken into account for CSA purposes but obviously only at the % rate, so you will still gain from having it. Depending on your income you may also get working tax credits. Does your partner work?

To top it all off, my Fiance's ex - the father of her 6 year old, has so far evaded the CSA for the last 6 years so any help coming from that direction isn't going to be forthcoming Keep chasing them and demand to know why.

This might seem trivial, but for the sake of about £30-40 a week too much going out of our household, we might be forced to lose our house and move in with parents etc, which is not going to be ideal with a newborn. Can you not try and negotiate with your loan company to reduce your payments? HOw much CSA arrears do you have left? If you can it would be better to pay them off in a lump sum so that it doesn't impact on your weekly figures in the future.

I know one comment will be try to reduce your outgoings. Believe me, all the little things like packing my own lunch, not buying luxuries, takeaways etc all kicked in about a year ago and without them we'd have been in dire straights already.

Thanks to anyone who takes time to read, thanks to anyone who can offer any kind of suggestion without judging me.

.................................................

Soubrette

I think kelloggs has covered the CSA part of things.

As to making your income stretch - you probably do these things anyway - but are you a member of freecycle? I managed to receive a really nice pine single bed for my daughter (apparently cabin beds aren't cool as you get older ), christmas is bought on ebay (also bought a 6ft christmas tree from Tesco last year for less than £4 thanks to ukhotdeals) and I always go through quidco so I get a few more pennies out of it. I start buying presents about Aug (I keep a spreadsheet so I know what I've spent and where I've stored them!!).

The boards I use in a practicial way here are the upyourincome board, debtfreewannabe (I don't have any debts but the posters are really supportive, if you post your incomings and outgoings then they will give good ideas on where you can get help, as well as good ideas on cutting costs etc) and the old style board - great for menu planning and cooking from scratch for me although there are other tips on cutting costs. The celebrations board is also good if you or your girlfriend are interested in craft ideas.

Good luck

Sou

Soubrette

Here are some more of the money saving things that we do and believe me, compared to some on the old style board I'm as spendthrift as they get , however, I do work part time and I don't have very young children any more, so I have more time to do things and I don't have to worry about littlies getting cold or into mischief because I'm not watching them etc.

Sou wrote:

However going to Tesco at 9pm for the bargain veg
Making soup from said veg
Making jam from any cheap fruit
Keeping the heating off upstairs at all times
Not turning the heating on 31st oct and off 1st Mar (it goes on when it's really cold and jumpers don't cut it any more).
Hot water bottles at night
Having my haircut once a year
Watching petrol prices
Buying clothes from Matalan
Buying cheap potatoes and spending all day peeling them to mash and freeze
As above but blanching them and freezing them for roast potatoes
No drinking
No smoking
Making cakes for girls sandwiches every week
Making our own bread
Bulk buying our normal shopping when it is on offer
Shopping in different supermarkets for the deals
Nights out comprising free cinema tickets and bring your own drink
One 5 year old mobile phone between my husband and I - spend less that £20 per 6 month period

So for example, yesterday for tea we had roast potatoes that probably cost about 4p in total for all four of us, carrots that cost less than 1p each (I julienne them and freeze them when they are yellow stickered and use them mostly in stirfries but sometimes as a side veg), tesco value peas - they cost about 5p per portion and a quorn burger (the expensive bit) - so each meal probably cost less than 50p each (we don't always do this well - depends whats been on offer and is in the freezer:o).

One lady on the old style tries to eat healthily for less than 50p per day :cool:

Oh just though - often people can make savings by growing their own veg - I'm useless at this but if you have a bit of garden then that might be something worth considering.

Sou

marksoton

Soubrette wrote: »

Here are some more of the money saving things that we do and believe me, compared to some on the old style board I'm as spendthrift as they get , however, I do work part time and I don't have very young children any more, so I have more time to do things and I don't have to worry about littlies getting cold or into mischief because I'm not watching them etc.



So for example, yesterday for tea we had roast potatoes that probably cost about 4p in total for all four of us, carrots that cost less than 1p each (I julienne them and freeze them when they are yellow stickered and use them mostly in stirfries but sometimes as a side veg), tesco value peas - they cost about 5p per portion and a quorn burger (the expensive bit) - so each meal probably cost less than 50p each (we don't always do this well - depends whats been on offer and is in the freezer:o).



Sou

This is child neglect, i have reported you. :rotfl:

Soubrette

marksoton wrote: »

This is child neglect, i have reported you. :rotfl:

What!! They cost 39p each I'll have you know

Sou

marksoton

Soubrette wrote: »

What!! They cost 39p each I'll have you know

Sou

I don't care if they pay you to eat them. The devils " food " i tell ya.

Soubrette

marksoton wrote: »

I don't care if they pay you to eat them. The devils " food " i tell ya.

Quorn Curry tonight - recipe courtesy of the old style board - swapped the chicken for yummy quorn (bought on offer) :A

Sou