Trying to help pensioner with 50K debt - need some help and encouragement!

bosslady_2

thanks again aunty margaret

I must find out what she owes on the mortgage. I asked but she didn't really know ... maybe it's all in the folder of bills and stuff she's given me.

All her loans and cards have been defaulted as she didn't pay anything for a couple of months before we found out what had happened. So I assume that means a 0% card is now out of the question!

She's 75. Not very elderly at all I suppose. She's just starting to get confused quite easily, can't remember which bank has phoned her. She used to work as a social worker and do budget planners and debt repayment plans with people (and by the sounds of it used to give debt collectors and money lenders hell!). It's a real shame to see someone who was so capable in the past reduced to tears cos she can't remember any of the answers to the ID questions on phone banking.

skintchick

margaretclare wrote:

Not all of us do!



Fiercely independent is how I'd like to put it!

I was talking about my grandparents and SOME other elderly people, and by elderly I was talking about my family, and was thinking in their 80s. I did qualify it so don't be so defensive Aunty M.

And fiercely independent is different to stubborn - my grandparents were all stubborn!! My nan (the only one left now) refuses to 'believe' in 1471 for example!!

Refusing to accept innovations is stubborn IMHO!!

anywa,y off-topic!

library_lady_2

Please, please tell her to stop worrying (and you!), in her twilight years she should not have to cut back on her food or heating, should not have to deal with bullying tactics from banks :mad: (who shouldn't have given her the money in the first place!!), if she wants to treat her grandchildren she should - these things I'm sure are done out of love. Chances are she's sitting in a nice little nest egg, if her sons are happy I agree that equity release is the only answer. If that isn't available then get on to cccs and arrange a mimimum payment plan! We really are a long time dead and life's to short (particularly at 75!) to suffer any further worry. Keep smiling.

margaretclare

Sorry, skintchick!

I agree that you did qualify what you wrote.

I just get a little tired of being stereotyped. Just this evening in our local paper there's a story about an old couple (87) and the story begins: 'We all know that elderly people dislike change, they feel safe with things they're familiar with...' This couple in the paper have carried disliking change to an extreme, their house, neighbours say, is 'just like the 1950s'. They've lived there for 56 years, it's a council house, and the council wanted to rewire - the wiring is old and dangerous, but they've refused to allow anyone in to do the work. Result: they've had to be evicted while the council house is brought up to modern standards! And they're not happy about it.

Sorry to digress!

Best wishes

Aunty Margaret

margaretclare

Hi bosslady

For equity release, look at SHIP (safe home equity plans) - https://www.ship-ltd.org/

How it works - I can explain what we did: I had a mortgage of £40K, house was valued (3 years ago) at £140K, now between £165 - £170K. When we were 68 we were allowed to borrow 25% of the valuation i.e. £35K - we used this to pay off the mortgage. It didn't quite cover all of it, there were legal fees etc, we paid off the rest on a loan (3 years, we paid it off in 18 months). There's interest, but it's not payable during our lifetime - it rolls-up and the whole thing will be paid off on the death of the second of us. As against that, it's possible that house prices will continue to rise, which (in theory anyway) may offset the interest.

At 75 she may be able to borrow more than 25% of the valuation, and if you like I can PM you the email address of the IFA who set all this up for us.

Saving money on gas is tricky - you may have seen that wholesale prices of gas quadrupled yesterday. As a nation we're now a net importer of energy and so are dependent on what happens in distant countries. We are probably going to have our roof replaced before too long - it's 75-year old asbestos tiles!! - and needs re-doing, while that's being done we'll have some extra insulation laid down in the loft, because no good paying for expensive heat that just escapes through the roof.

If she was used to doing debt payment plans with clients during her working life then she must feel absolutely mortified now to think that her own affairs have got into such a state, and that she can't deal with them herself and you're having to do it. I know I'd hate it!!!

Aunty Margaret

bosslady_2

Thanks for the info. That makes a bit more sense and does sound like a good idea. I'll have a read at the website tomorrow - feeling very unwell at the moment. Got a sore throat and running a temperature. Ug.

She is extremely embarassed at what's happened to her. She would only go to a bank 20 miles from her home today (there are at least 6 nearer!) in case anyone worked there or was a customer there who was from her town. She knows it's silly to feel like that but I think she has been so used to coping.

part of me (a big part of me) feels very very angry with the banks who lent her all this money. the rbs loan was due to a cold sales call a year and a half ago and she felt pushed into taking it out due to the caller being very persuasive. prior to that she had a bit of debt but was coping but it was after that point that she started robbing peter to pay paul and both her sons were in financial difficulty so she didn't want to worry anyone.

Going to have a hot honey and lemon, some paracetemol and go to bed. poor me!

beverleyhills

Bosslady

I'm sure that it's the stress of her current difficulties that is making her confused and appear forgetful. It's usually much easier to help other people, when you are not carrying your own emotional baggage, and can be more objective.

I hope that you are able to convey to her how many people empathise with her situation and don't judge her. :grouphug:

And for you too :grouphug:

Best wishes for your new job.

bh

bosslady_2

Thanks, BH.

I've always been pretty good at budgeting and have never been in debt (except for my tiny mortgage) so trying to sort out the payment plans and write to the banks doesn't get me that wound up. They do seem to treat the whole thing as a game (which is worrying in itself as it's no game to us!): we send one letter offering a lower repayment amount, get no reply, we send another letter plus a complaint re: lack of reply, eventually get a reply saying they can't accept figure, we send another letter, they say they won;t accept figure but we are to pay it anyway and they will freeze the interest for 6 months. So they are accepting it in a very roundabout way! Can't pretend I understand it at all.

I think I've managed to reassure her that there are a lot of people in her position and that no-one is coming to take her home away or anything like that. She certainly seemed a lot more together and calmer this week.

Also we've cancelled her AA cover and signed my partner up for the cheaper Auto Aid cover as he does most of the driving. Switched her from British Gas and will change her phone over later today. We took her to the post office and got her a free bus card too so from April she can travel all over Scotland by free if she fancies. I did the MSE budget planner and every time we manage to find a way to save her some more money, we alter the figure and print it off so she can see how much she's saving and she thinks it's great.

Now if only I could stop Bank of Scotland collections phoning here at 8am every second day with the same question!!

Dora_the_Explorer_5

Her car insurance and Mot is due in May so we'll do some sort of split of the costs then. We run her around a fair bit in it and get her shopping in, she isn't confident driving it anymore as it makes some pretty weird noises!

Surely if she isn't driving it she doesn't need it and doesn't have to spend 150 a month on it?

margaretclare

Dora_the_Explorer wrote:

Surely if she isn't driving it she doesn't need it and doesn't have to spend 150 a month on it?

No, I think from the earlier posts the OP is using it and the £150 is tax/MOT/petrol/everything.

Churchill do a good deal on car insurance, and it's cheaper if you pay the year in one go, not monthly. We've just done this with them for buildings and contents insurance, £139.65 for the year was the best deal we found anywhere. We're paying for the year because otherwise they stick 10% on if you want to pay it monthly.

Aunty Margaret