he keeps threatening csa

ladylumps45

hi, my ex husband has always paid regularly for my 12 yr old daughter(we split when she was 5).he told me that every april he would up the money by 6 pounds per month.he kept his word and did this.
all of a sudden last august he wrote to me to say he could no longer make payments of 155 a month and had to down it to 125 a month which is what it started on years ago.
accepted this and bit my tongue as he apparently was losing his business and had to sell his big house and go into rented accomodation.
so from aug he has been paying 125 a month.
a few months ago he got a new management job and reduced his outgoings by renting.however his payments havent changed and increased yet him and his wife run 2 cars,rent a big detatched house and have a lovely lifestyle and basically want for nothing.they seem to have money for anything the 2 of them want .i confronted him on the phone about this and he keeps threatening me now that he gives all he can and to go to the csa if i dont believe him.
frankly i dont believe him especially now as i found out he earns 22k gross.i feel that his daughter comes last over their lifestyle and whilst i understood when he was apparently struggling,things have changed now.please can someone tell me how csa is assesses and whats the difference in phase 1 and 2? my daughter is coming up to 13 and her costs are alot more than when she was 5.his 28 pounds a week i feel is not enough on 22k a year.thankyou.

Js_Other_Half

https://secureonline.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/calculate-maintenance.asp will help a little ?

cte1111

I think, as it would be a new claim, he would be assessed under the current system. So, unless he has other children / step-children, then he would be paying 15% of his income.

SuziQ

It sounds to me as if he has far more to fear from the CSA than you do! What he is paying is a pittance imo. The csa would place him on CSA2 and that would mean 15% of his net income, of course if he is 'hiding ' his income in some way that could cause problems.The lifestyle you describe doesn't sound as though it would happen on only 22k gross? Also he would stop paying you as soon as the CSA got involved,and as it can take months to sort out an order. Does he have any idea how much it costs to raise a child? Does he ever give extra for things like unifroms school trips etc? I think he should be ashamed as he has cleared his concience by paying the very minimum whilst living a very nice life himself,thankyou very much! The CSA is there to help you,but in my experience they have never got a penny out of my ex husband in over 12 years

kelloggs36

Do you have any idea what he earns?

ladylumps45

thanks for your replies.i found out that he earnt 22k as my daughter heard him saying it to the bank.i know his wife works part time but obviously her money isnt included in csa im assuming.in answer to your question suziQ, no he never gives extra for anything.
when my daughter started secondary school last sept i askd him for some money towards her uniform etc(we all know how much it costs plus pe kit,stationary,school bags etc and her bus fare was 30 a month until the freedom pass came out in our area and thats 50 pound!).he made me feel like a scrounger when i asked him and i regret it as i felt totally embarrassed afterwards.
he seems to think 125 a month (28 a week) should cover everything including mobile top ups,going to cinema etc with friends.
i cant stand the man and i feel that because he doesnt like me he thinks hes taking it out on me but its actually my daughter that suffers.
if i call his bluff and contact csa will they take 15%ofhis net or gross.what do you think he takes home a month on 22k gross yearly?
does his expenses like rent,pension,household bills get taken off before assessment and how many nights a year he has her?sorry for all the questions but im totally new to all this.my friends and family say to contact csa without telling him but im worried that if i do it might backfire and he might pay less and also he will stop payments until hes assessed and i need his money.its upsetting me as i love my daughter dearly and altho he reckons hes a great dad,how can he be if hes penny pinching from his daughter? sorry for rambling ,just need to get it off my chest.thanks guys.

marksoton

Assuming he has no pension payments he would pay £49 per week. Any children living with him or if he has his daughter a certain number of nights would potentially lower this amount.

marksoton

SuziQ wrote: »

It sounds to me as if he has far more to fear from the CSA than you do! What he is paying is a pittance imo. The csa would place him on CSA2 and that would mean 15% of his net income, of course if he is 'hiding ' his income in some way that could cause problems.The lifestyle you describe doesn't sound as though it would happen on only 22k gross? Also he would stop paying you as soon as the CSA got involved,and as it can take months to sort out an order. Does he have any idea how much it costs to raise a child? Does he ever give extra for things like unifroms school trips etc? I think he should be ashamed as he has cleared his concience by paying the very minimum whilst living a very nice life himself,thankyou very much! The CSA is there to help you,but in my experience they have never got a penny out of my ex husband in over 12 years

I would love to see a figure for this !!

mitchaa

£22k pa is not a great wage, it certainly does not fit with the lifestyle described. He will earn £1425pm after taxation or approx £1315 if he is paying usual 6% pension contributions.

£1315pm @ 15% = £197pm.

You are receiving £125pm so he is underpaying you by around £72pm. (or around £16pw) However if he has any other children or if he keeps his daughter over night he is eligible for a discount on this £197 figure. Additionally, there is no guarantee he is on £22k, he could have been exaggerating to the bank or your daughter could have been exaggerating too.

If he is SE, then its even harder.

Going to CSA may backfire on you as if its too much for him he could just give up work and then he would have a nil or very minimal assessment if he claims JSA, or if he is SE, pay himself a low salary. Some people are very hard to trace, you only need to read through this forum.

Tough 1, but you have to ask yourself is it worth the risk? £125pm is better than nothing at the end of the day as at least he is paying something, many other PWC dont see a penny.

Soubrette

marksoton wrote: »

I would love to see a figure for this !!

Depends on the child - mine cost considerably less to raise than Beatrice McCartney

But considerably more than a child living in the third world

In an effort to explain to my ex, I actually took the time to tot up what I could remember of 2008 expenditure and to show what a large proportion of my income was being spent on our children compared to the small proportion that he was putting in both as a percentage of salary and actual cold hard cash - unsurprisingly I might as well have saved my breath:rolleyes:

In 2008 my children cost me over £5670 which is more than a third of our net household income and probably about two thirds of my net income. This included a holiday to see family in Canada and a laptop to share for christmas (supposedly for homework :rolleyes:). I included food but did not include a proportion of electricity, petrol (both not old enough to drive so lots of ferrying to and fro), water, council tax etc as I couldn't think of a fair way to apportion this. I also no doubt forgot extra money for going out when invited to the cinema by friends, some clothes, extra food for friends sleeping over etc etc.

My ex husband I reckon paid about £1000 towards them both but alot of that would be doubling up on our things and so would be unnecessary. So I would say £500 for trips and school uniform.

We received just under £3000 in child related benefits

So my children last year cost at the very least £6170 and probably at least a few hundred more. This is on a fairly frugal lifestyle (no heating on upstairs, ever!, lots of cooking from scratch, clothes from Matalan, holiday in Canada mostly spent at relatives houses and taking 2 days out of school to take advantage of much cheaper flights etc), however they do have mobile phones, always go on school trips etc. In general though, they have a lot less than their friends.

Without the Canadian trip it would be £1500 less so about £4670, although one daughter will be 17 soon so that will be driving lessons instead I suppose and of course university beckons after that.

Sou

catenorfolk

I quite agree with most things that you have mentioned on the above, but i really dont think that he should necessarily have to contribute towards your holidays and mobile phones and your daughter driving lessons as much as these are great, they are not necessities. He should be helping to upkeep the necessary things for the kids.ie, food clothes gas electric etc and all essential items. As for you going on holiday with the kids, that is surely for you to sort out. If he feels that holidays are necessary for the kids he can take them himself. I think it is nice for the kids to go but we didnt have a holiday for years because of an ex who was totally a pain, but i never did expect him to pay towards the holidays. I did manage to save the sun coupons and things and have a few days a year away and also sent my kids away for a week on those all kids, which you can get cheaper if you are on benefits.