Birthdays

piptiddlepip

This weekend is my sister's birthday. For the first time in many years I have bought the card and gift already and have budgeted for both.

For years I was so bad with money that birthdays were a major depression for me - I would run out of money and then sometimes, to my shame, "forget" about the birthday so I wouldn't have to turn up and admit I was broke and crap with money, and be embarrassed.

I even remember one christmas when I was 21 (many, many moons ago) when I couldn't afford to buy presents except a very small gift for my Nan.

Has anyone else been through this?

PaleScene

piptiddlepip wrote:

This weekend is my sister's birthday. For the first time in many years I have bought the card and gift already and have budgeted for both.

For years I was so bad with money that birthdays were a major depression for me - I would run out of money and then sometimes, to my shame, "forget" about the birthday so I wouldn't have to turn up and admit I was broke and crap with money, and be embarrassed.

I even remember one christmas when I was 21 (many, many moons ago) when I couldn't afford to buy presents except a very small gift for my Nan.

Has anyone else been through this?

I haven't been through quite the same because even when we have had no money, money was available... (took me a while to grasp the significance of that :eek: )

But I totally get all the other bits of what you say about the organisation and the worry and feeling down about it.

I actually like the run up to Christmas because I've got the money accumulating ready in a seperate account, and because (and this is my fault!) the whole of my family (and OH's) have been trained into having a think about gift ideas ready for when they're asked

Birthdays however just seem much more stressful - they always seem to run together or be a while away then suddenly here. Plus my family doesn't seem bothered if they forget yours or you forget theirs, so I never know where I am

This year I'm trying to just make a choice that I give gifts to them because I want to, and if need be I'll be choosing and it may not be the thing they most wanted.

I also keep a card box, I fill it if I see a card I like, or most often by buying reconditioned cards that are sold by my parents church, then I've always got a card ready and don't have to go into a card shop and actually have to stay there for more than two minutes (they sap my will to live after that!)

At the moment I am just trying to keep up as I have 4 birthdays to buy for in the next couple of weeks, plus my sisters baby is due and my M-i-L celebrates Mothering Sunday, even though my Mum is low-key about it (it's always on or around her birthday!)

piptiddlepip

I'm budgeting for christmas this year as well - saving just over £20 a month so I've got some money to spend at the end of the year instead of scratching around for spare cash or whacking it on the plastic! I'm actually really looking forward to it because it'll be the one time of year I'm allowed to go out with a couple of hundred quid and spend it!

Callisto

piptiddlepip wrote:

I'm budgeting for christmas this year as well. I'm actually really looking forward to it because it'll be the one time of year I'm allowed to go out with a couple of hundred quid and spend it!

That's a really good point! I'd never thought of it like that before. I've opened an ING savings account for Xmas, but unfortunately it only has £1 in it so far. This is the first year I'm trying to save in advance for Christmas, but being unemployed at the moment, I'm pretty skint. Eventually I'd like to save in advance for all the annual expenses, but obviously it will take a few years yet.

It's was my boyfriend's BIL's birthday on 1st January and his sister and BIL came over to say Happy New Year. Of course, we had forgotten all about it, so we had to rush to the shop to buy a card and then wrap up one of our own DVD's to give to BIL! So, I've got a diary and written in everyone's birthday, so we don't end up giving all our DVD's away...

Even when I'm skint, I like to give a card and at least a small gift for birthdays. I try and stock up on cheap cards from shops like 'The Works' and I also give pretty notecards as birthday cards.

Well done for being so organised and keep it up! :T

amosworks

I once happened upon a stupidly cheap shop selling 4 cards for £1 etc. and some of them aren't too bad, so I got all sorts of the nice ones, from happy birthday, to get well soon, i'm sorry, you're a star etc. so in a pinch I can always try my best to do the right thing without spending £stupid at the local shop. I don't tend to do big presents any more and it seems that all my friends and family have started to respect that a lot more and do the same - I think they feel like they don't have to make a ridiculous effort to impress me with their retail ability. I've told everyone I can't always afford things anyway and when you bring it out in the open, you feel much more relaxed and become closer to people when you find out that they too really appreciate not being in the position of having to give you their DVD's etc. just to keep up appearances.

Tell people everything that's going on! I read this in a book called "The Luck Factor" and you will find that when people know that you can't afford a new umbrella stand or your TV just broke down, someone knows a friend of a friend who's got one they're going to throw away or is having a house sale etc. etc. It really works!

Don't feel embarassed, open up and take the burden off your shoulders piptiddlepip. Those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind.

TurnaroundSue

If I cannot afford to spend a lot on birthdays, I put a lottery ticket in the card. It's not much, but the thought that they could will a few million adds to the gift. I also keep a box of cards in the house and if I am out and see something reduced, I buy it and put it in my pressie drawer - especially handy when you have kids!! They get a good present for only a couple of pounds.

I put money in premium bonds on a monthly basis for xmas and then cash them all in after the draw on 1st December - I like the fact that I could win a million (or even £50) and the amount I would get in interest is worth it. The only down side though is that the minimum amount is £100, so not very accessible for alot of people!

bestpud

Yep, I've been there many a time and found it very embarrassing!

I've made the decision this year to not give adult birthday pressies over £5 but the nephews and nieces still get £20. Luckily, my family is quite small and hubbies family only buy for children anyway.

I haven't really got into the habit of buying reduced things and putting them by, but I wish I could! Also want to start saving for xmas and love the premium bond idea, although the £100 would be a bit of a barrier. I also like the lottery ticket idea - I was thinking of getting a 6 month subscription to out local hospice lottery for my parents this xmas, as it's £1 a week and I normally spend about £30 on not a lot!

Well done to those who've got it sussed!

Helen

floridadreamin

I also put away abit each month for Christmas after being totally skint afew years back. I have a card box with cards in for the unexpected birthday but I really love the idea of putting a lottery ticket in the card. What a wonderful suggestion, one I definately will be using myself. Thank you

livilou

it's hard isn't it, especially with little ones at school who get invited to numerous parties!! I now buy bits when I see them reduced, I brought a lucky dip bag of books from the book people before christmas, in fact I brought 2 as they reduced them to £5 and I got 20 books for 10.00 all within the age range of the kiddies I needed to buy pressies for. They were fab and one book was a beautiful hardback story book and the title was the name of a friends little boy who was turning one. well she thought I had spent a fortune and brought the book especially - I didn't dare say it really only cost me 50p!!!!!

I've also stopped buying the cards at xmas one for mum and dad, one for auntie, cousin ect - easily spend 30.00 doing that, last year I took a lovely photo of my kids and ordered through snapfish, edited each one so it had to nanny and grandad etc and then made cards, everyone loved them.

as for bday cards - I now get the kids to make them!!!! I have enough craft paper , card, stamps etc to open my own hobbycraft and my little girl loves crafty things like me so if a bday is coming up she makes a card. This was one of my new years resolutions and so far this year I haven't brought a card.

i budget a small amount each month for presents and christmas and stock my cupboard up. infact I brought a pressie for my little girl last week, a barbie sculp and paint set which is normally 20.00 and it was reduced to 4.99 at instore - this will be a xmas pressie for her.

I do find buying for adults harder but I agree if people are aware that money is tight there is less pressure. For one of my friends bday money was tight so myself and my little girl made her a chocolate cake and decorated it and she thought it was fab.

xx

starlite_2

Hving made several new 'mummy' friends at postntal group I recently realised november will be a hellish birthday month...8 babies first birthday gifts to buy..aswell as spoiling my little one..lol

think i will start keeping an eye out for bargains and stashing them away.

for adults 'boots' is always a good bet..specially if one keeps an eye on the 'boots grabbit bargains' thread

gingerfurball

I have actually talked my kids (18, 15 and 13) to just get money for Christmas and 1 small token to open. I was just disgusted at the fact that everything was so cheap in the sales in January, they're really happy about it (well the 13 year old would still like presents but I'm sure we'll get her talked round by then)...I'm saving my £2 for Christmas.