Relief - bad week turned out good in the end

sieve

Evening all,

After what turned out to be a hellish week, I have the most enormous sense of relief running through me right now. Summary of the week - to start with, went BR on wednesday. Thursday a relative died, and saturday I was dumped.

As most of you know, my BR brought a diluted sense of relief as I still had to tell my parents about the whole situation, and when I wanted to, I felt I couldn't as I knew they would still be pretty low after the news of the relative (who was closer to them than to me).

Anyway, tonight, I told them. I told them why I was doing it, I told them what I thought would happen to everything, I told them about the whole process. Now my Dad, whose dad was the manager of a (what was then) Midland Bank, and who normally goes mental when he hears of such news (I have totally messed up several times in the past), and my Mum, who worries even when things are fine, were fine once they knew why I had done what I was doing. And when they knew that there was a good chance the house would be safe, there was a further sense of relief. At the end of the day my Dad actually agreed that for me, it was the best option really and it wasn't such a big deal after all - just something that needed doing.

They also understood why I didn't want to tell them immediately before I'd done it, and also until I knew 100% what was going on, but I said to them that I didn't want them finding out by being told by a nosy neighbour/relative reading the paper and telling them. So that helped too.

What I am trying to say is this - for those of you out there who don't feel you can tell loved ones - I can assure you that things will be fine. I was cataclysmically worried before tonight, even after going through with the bankruptcy but I can safely say that there will never be a good time to broach a subject like this, but if you are worried, get it out in the open sooner rather than later, and it will be good for everyone concerned.

So now I will hopefully sleep super-well tonight as although the pressure of the debts was gone before today, the pressure of my folks finding out was still a very tough one - not any more - I love them like nothing else and now there are no secrets between us. A good way to be

So it was a Happy Easter in the end

Goodnight all, sleep well and enjoy the bank holiday monday. I am going to the seaside, debt free and worry free!

Cheers and take care,

S

So_Sad_Angel

Thats great news sieve....& what a lovely post !

I think that parents always want whats best for us ( I know I do for my kids) & they appreciate when a decision is made for the right reasons.

I am so pleased that you are much happier now..you really sound it.

Angiex

Have great day tomorrow....hope you get the weather!!! A walk along the beach knowing that you have left your debt troubles behind you sounds like heaven.

sieve

So_Sad_Angel wrote: »

Thats great news sieve....& what a lovely post !

I think that parents always want whats best for us ( I know I do for my kids) & they appreciate when a decision is made for the right reasons.

I am so pleased that you are much happier now..you really sound it.

Angiex

Have great day tomorrow....hope you get the weather!!! A walk along the beach knowing that you have left your debt troubles behind you sounds like heaven.

Thanks Angie Yeah the second biggest weight after the debt has been lifted - I can breathe again

Have a lovely day tomorrow! Hopefully the sun will be out in Poole

beentheredonethatstilhere

Seive, well done on telling your parents. You did the right thing by detailing every thing and going for the whys and where fores and all the pro's and con's and leaving little room for questions.

My condolences to your on the death of your reletive.

I am really sorry to hear that you have been dumped as well, but I am sure you will come through all this a stronger and better person and you deserve better.

sieve

beentheredonethatstilhere wrote: »

Seive, well done on telling your parents. You did the right thing by detailing every thing and going for the whys and where fores and all the pro's and con's and leaving little room for questions.

My condolences to your on the death of your reletive.

I am really sorry to hear that you have been dumped as well, but I am sure you will come through all this a stronger and better person and you deserve better.

Thanks beenthere - it's been a difficult week, but hopefully from here, things really can only get better eh?

Cheers,

S

Lightattheend

Sieve, glad to hear things went well with your folks - I can understand how hard it must have been. I've not discussed the situation with my parents yet, though have told my brother, and need to find the time to tell them (they're divorced so its two calls to dread). The one consellation (sp) I'll have is they won't get the local paper as they are 250 miles away!

Enjoy your walk on the beach and hope the weather stays good,

Take care

shortie_d

Hi S

I think we have been reading each others experiences.

well all I can say is I cannot wait for the day I can start to enjoy life properly again.

you can train yourself to deal with finances in the right way and become good with money but that can sometimes happen when it's too late.

Its taken me 12 months of trying and i'm still at the same dead end. but mainly cause of my change in circumstances (Having a baby) not through being wreckless with money!

I never go out I don't have luxuries but I have worry every single day that puts a shadow over enjoying what I do have which money could not buy

as for being dumped hun it sounds like it was for the best. you deserve to be with somone for you not for your money. so what if you can't afford to go out and wine and dine there are plenty of ways to be a great partner which doesn't cost a penny

Good luck with getting yoruself back on track

D xx

sieve

Lightattheend wrote: »

Sieve, glad to hear things went well with your folks - I can understand how hard it must have been. I've not discussed the situation with my parents yet, though have told my brother, and need to find the time to tell them (they're divorced so its two calls to dread). The one consellation (sp) I'll have is they won't get the local paper as they are 250 miles away!

Enjoy your walk on the beach and hope the weather stays good,

Take care

Thanks LATE - good luck with telling yours. I am sure they won't take it as badly as you think they might - at the end of the day, they only want what's best for you and if this is, then it's really not a big issue (although I know it seems it).

sieve

shortie_d wrote: »

Hi S

I think we have been reading each others experiences.

well all I can say is I cannot wait for the day I can start to enjoy life properly again.

you can train yourself to deal with finances in the right way and become good with money but that can sometimes happen when it's too late.

Its taken me 12 months of trying and i'm still at the same dead end. but mainly cause of my change in circumstances (Having a baby) not through being wreckless with money!

I never go out I don't have luxuries but I have worry every single day that puts a shadow over enjoying what I do have which money could not buy

as for being dumped hun it sounds like it was for the best. you deserve to be with somone for you not for your money. so what if you can't afford to go out and wine and dine there are plenty of ways to be a great partner which doesn't cost a penny

Good luck with getting yoruself back on track

D xx

It will come D, believe me! The slog up to it isn't easy but if I can do it, then I'm sure you can too and it will be over before you know it and you can start living your life again Enjoying spending time with the little one with no other worries about where the money for the next bill is going to come from...

Thanks for the sympathy about the relationship too - to her credit, it wasn't because of my BR that we broke up, just different situations and she was actually incredibly supportive of my decision - just one of these things that happens. But what is meant to be, will be eh

Take care,

S

startagain_2

Good Morning sieve,

What a week that was, eh! You are now a member of my "change everything club" ..... the plus side is that it gives you the chance to make a real fresh start and the down side is that it is blimin difficult for a while, I warn you.
Adjusting to a BR life is not always easy. Living with no credit and financial restrictions can be tricky, especially when big bills loom, and then having a space in your life which used to have a partner in it is weird too.
You will be fine, I love your take on things and you will move on.
Change your focus - Exercise, Work and Friends ......
and keep posting of course!
BTW, you are braver than me.... I haven't told my family (stepmother and half sisters) ... after a lifetime of their judgmental opinions and disapproval of my different way of living my life this would just fuel their fire. No thanks!

Enjoy the last day of the holiday..

SA

Lost2

Good on ya sieve, telling your mum and dad
that must be a weight in it's self telling your parents
I am sorry to hear of the passing of one of your family members
sorry about your girlfriend/boyfriend,
and I hope you did have a good nights sleep
things can only get better