Bar mitzvah

margaretclare

We are invited to my husband's first cousin's grandson's Bar Mitzvah on a Saturday morning at the end of May.

It's at a Reform Synagogue.

We understand from this that we won't be separated into men and women, so that's a relief. However, we shan't understand a word of what is going on. The young boy is to read part of the Scriptures - in Hebrew! Shall we be able to ask him for a translation afterwards - will he know what he is reading? Like most of my generation of English people, I was brought up on the Bible and especially the Old Testament.

The website says that they have a beautiful choir, so we'll enjoy the singing even if we don't understand the words. I intend to wear the same outfit that I wore to my brother's wedding last year - it's smart enough for any occasion.

After the service there's a Kiddush - what is that?

We've already politely declined to go to the evening meal and celebration on the Sunday night. No one can get my DH to wear a black tie, not for any consideration whatever!

I should explain, we are practising Christians and members of our local Methodist Church.

[Deleted User]

Ah, bar mitzvahs, good fun

ok, i'm Jewish, Orthadox, but not very religious. I've been to reform synagogues so i hope i can help.

Yes, reform synagogues (people may call it 'shul', not synagogue - it's just the Yiddish word for it) do not split men and women. You'll be surprised by the amount of english that makes up a Reform service - just stand up when everyone else stands up, sit down when they do.

The prayer service is read from the sidur (pronounced sid-urr) which will have everything translated into english. It's a bit odd, but the book will be read 'backwards' because Hebrew is read from right to left. The major piece of hebrew the boy will read will not be in that book (although a few of the prays prior to it will be). The Rabbi should give a synopsis of the 'piece' at the end of a service (plus a little talk to the congregation and the boy)

A kiddush is a post-service celebration, where there will be a short toast, whiskey & wine will be served along with traditional biscuits (called kichels). Maybe fishballs and olives if you are lucky.

Its a shame you're not going to the evening meal - that's the really good bit. A lot of Jewish bar mitzvah/weddings are black tie. My wife's best friends husband never came to our wedding because he didn't want to wear black tie. Has he considered not wearing a bow tie and going for a black suit + black tie?

margaretclare

Thank you very much for the explanation.

One of the reasons for not going to a late evening do, 50 miles away, is not only the black tie thing - DH is really not up to it just yet. He's still recovering from a serious illness, a week in Critical Care with septicaemia, 3 trips to theatre and the last of these for joint reconstruction was only mid-February. He's been told it can take him up to a year to recover completely. We are only just starting to think of going to things - going to a St George's Day Dinner in a couple of weeks' time but it's part of a weekend conference and afterwards we've only to toddle along to our bedroom in the Hilton, Portsmouth, not a long drive home.

Stand up and sit down when others do - well, I think we can manage that. I've done that in Catholic churches abroad before now, but at least there I had the advantage of understanding the Latin!

Is it usual for these type of celebrations to be 'themed'? The boy is part of the cast of 'Oliver' and we've already been told 'be back soon' and 'bring no pickpockets'.

I've never been into a synagogue, ever, and it's something I wanted to find out about. BTW we were in the Abbey Church at Waltham Abbey earlier today - now, that's a place with some atmosphere. DH said it gave him a prickle down his spine. We also visited King Harold's grave - that was just about far enough for DH to walk with his crutch.

[Deleted User]

Well i hope your DH gets better soon.

The synagogue service itself will not be themed, only the party in the evening. A lot of synagogues are actually old churches, to be honest, i've rarely got a 'tingle' - except in europes oldest synagogue in Prague.

margaretclare

Thanks for the explanation, ringo. I'm relieved that the theme won't be carried on into the actual service!!!