Advice

all4one

Hi All

Need some advice, I just received a phone call from an ex-flame (about 12 years ago), at the time she was married and got pregnant - she said it was mine and I have no reason to dispute that, however she continued to live with her hubby and we split up.

I'm wondering why she's back in contact and wondered if the kid was mine would I be liable for Child Support or anything like that?

I can't think of any other reason she'd be back in touch.

Zara33

Firstly you need to establish if this child is yours. Assuming your ex is going down the route of child support then maybe for the best to get a DNA test. This can be done via the CSA at cost to you.

You are not liable for child support until the CSA get in contact with you...

pd001

Zara33 wrote: »

You are not liable for child support until the CSA get in contact with you...

Very true.....but.........
Your ex may have contacted the csa at some time in the past. Could this be possible?
If she did and the csa then tried to contact you, at what they thought at that time, was a confident address, then you may owe arrears.

marshmallows

maybe this womans guilt has got to her and wants her child to have a relationship with the biological father

if she contacts the csa i would deny parentage and then they will give you a dna test

pd001

marshmallows wrote: »

maybe this womans guilt has got to her and wants her child to have a relationship with the biological father

if she contacts the csa i would deny parentage and then they will give you a dna test

Which probably won't be cheap and of course depends on wether the OP feels that the child could indeed be his.

However, if the csa do get in touch I would be inclined to go for a dna test.
We are all different though and maybe others wouldn't want to have the test!

tamsin1982

pd001 wrote: »

Very true.....but.........
Your ex may have contacted the csa at some time in the past. Could this be possible?
If she did and the csa then tried to contact you, at what they thought at that time, was a confident address, then you may owe arrears.

not if the op can prove they were sent to an address he wasnt living in at the time the letter was sent.

pd001

tamsin1982 wrote: »

not if the op can prove they were sent to an address he wasnt living in at the time the letter was sent.

Agreed,
and sometimes quite difficult to prove

all4one

Thanks all for taking the time to help.

Seems a bit unfair to not be part of the kids life for first 12 years then expected to pay...Oh well we're see what happens.

charlie..._7

to answer you all4one shes probably after money, shes probably had an argument with her hubby split up shes spit venom and he has said why should he pay, and this is where you came in to it. nice for a child to no, or does the child know ?

evil woman, and before anyone condemns, just think, a liar for 12 years to her own child, lovely woman

good luck, only thousands and thousands of pounds left to pay.

oh p.s. does it run into perhaps £43,000 as ive read some owe ?

Loopy_Girl

Or another way of looking it is that you have not paid any financial assistance for a child which you knew you had

Jacklink (who is Charlie...btw for the regulars on here;) ), there is nothing to suggest from the OP's postings that the child doesn't know that she has a different biological father. Nothing at all.

OP I wouldn't automatically assume that there is money involved. The child is 12 and maybe she has just been told about her parentage - maybe she has known for years - but it sounds to me at the age she is that she perhaps wants to meet her biological Father.

Can I also ask why, if she phoned you, did't you just ask her what she wanted?!!!! Would save you tying yourself up in knots with the 'what if's'?!!!

Soubrette

all4one wrote: »

Thanks all for taking the time to help.

Seems a bit unfair to not be part of the kids life for first 12 years then expected to pay...Oh well we're see what happens.

But she only contacted you You have no idea if she wants money or is just nostalgic or whatever.

My first boyfriend has just contacted me via a mutual friend to see if I'd be interested in a get together - I'm not really interested in revisiting a time of 25 years ago but I'm sure he's not going to produce an unexpected offspring and demand payment or that he is maybe at a loose end and thinks we'll get back together - I think he just feels old and nostalgic.

Why not ask her what brought this unexpected contact before assuming anything? It could be maintenance issues but just as likely it could be other reasons.

Charlie is hilarious, her bias, hypocracy and ignorance make breath taking reading - read her posts and be aware of what happens to bitter people who always assume the worst :eek: and can only see one side of a situation (reading between the lines I suspect she is a NRPP)

Sou