Coming to terms that I have messed up!

Gaz1234_2

Hi everyone, I am new to this forum I have just recieved my second CCJ for 9k
MBNA Card. I have lived on my own for the past 8 yrs and spent most of my savings on paying my bills, I used to have a really good credit rating ,in fact I was never late with any payments! I bacame depressed in 2007 ,I think the stress and lonelyness of living on my own got the better of me, also, I lost a lot of hours at work which has led to a large drop in money for me. I have unsecured debts of 30k (excluding mortgage) . To enable myself to cope with work I suppose I have switched of to my credit card debts ,(hence I now have CCJS) I was finding that the stress of worrying about the debt was causing me to have panic attacks. I have a girl friend that stays with me 5 nights a week ,I am really pleased to have the company ,however, I find myself feeling slightly resentful beacause I am in financial trouble and she is not ,I supose I feel alone with my problems and she is not at all suportive. Has anyone else felt this way? I know it is my problem ,maybe I am looking at things the wrong way?

aligerdie

Hi,

And welcome.....

Why don't you try posting a soa up so we can see if there's anything you can shave off your budget. Any extra pennies here and there are helpful to pay extra off those debts.

Alot of us are all in the same boat here (me included ) and we all know how easy it is to switch off when things start going wrong. Once you've had your light bulb moment, and decide to tackle your debt, it will get easier.

Have you been in touch with any of the debt charities such as CCCS? They can perhaps help you with a debt management plan to pay your creditors off.

Good luck!

boredofbeingathome

Gaz1234 wrote: »

Hi everyone, I am new to this forum I have just recieved my second CCJ for 9k
MBNA Card. I have lived on my own for the past 8 yrs and spent most of my savings on paying my bills, I used to have a really good credit rating ,in fact I was never late with any payments! I bacame depressed in 2007 ,I think the stress and lonelyness of living on my own got the better of me, also, I lost a lot of hours at work which has led to a large drop in money for me. I have unsecured debts of 30k (excluding mortgage) . To enable myself to cope with work I suppose I have switched of to my credit card debts ,(hence I now have CCJS) I was finding that the stress of worrying about the debt was causing me to have panic attacks. I have a girl friend that stays with me 5 nights a week ,I am really pleased to have the company ,however, I find myself feeling slightly resentful beacause I am in financial trouble and she is not ,I supose I feel alone with my problems and she is not at all suportive. Has anyone else felt this way? I know it is my problem ,maybe I am looking at things the wrong way?

Welcome to the boards.

You are not alone in this and there is a wealth of information available to you to help you get through and pay off your debt.
There is little point in resenting others or indeed yourself, the deed is done now and so you have to move forward rather than dwell on it. Your girlfriend is being supportive by the sound of it as she keeps you company, perhaps you could enlist her help in being proactive about paying your debt. Such as finding cheap ways to go out or even freebie deals. Look at cinema first ( there is a big thread on the freebie board) Plan to cook meals from scratch, learn how to cook your favourite dishes and invite friends to contribute their fav sweets and bring a bottle.
Utilise the advice on here and be ruthless with your budget. At the end of the day you can make a difference, it is not going to happen overnight, but you will be able to do something.
As alligerdie suggests put up a state of affairs and we will help you cut it down. You can find the link at the top of the forum.
Use Martins guides to help you make the most of household bills etc.
I would write more but i am tired so good luck and will catch up tomorrow.

rubyslipper

Gaz1234 wrote: »

Hi everyone, I am new to this forum I have just recieved my second CCJ for 9k
MBNA Card. I have lived on my own for the past 8 yrs and spent most of my savings on paying my bills, I used to have a really good credit rating ,in fact I was never late with any payments! I bacame depressed in 2007 ,I think the stress and lonelyness of living on my own got the better of me, also, I lost a lot of hours at work which has led to a large drop in money for me. I have unsecured debts of 30k (excluding mortgage) . To enable myself to cope with work I suppose I have switched of to my credit card debts ,(hence I now have CCJS) I was finding that the stress of worrying about the debt was causing me to have panic attacks. I have a girl friend that stays with me 5 nights a week ,I am really pleased to have the company ,however, I find myself feeling slightly resentful beacause I am in financial trouble and she is not ,I supose I feel alone with my problems and she is not at all suportive. Has anyone else felt this way? I know it is my problem ,maybe I am looking at things the wrong way?

Hi Gaz1234 :hello:

Welcome to the lovely DFW board! There are so many brilliant people on here who will be able to give you some really good advice. As aligerdie suggested, an SOA (statement of affairs_ is a good place to start - if you want to you can fill one out then post it here and we'll be able to check out your situation and maybe suggest ways you can try and budget a bit. Sometimes it helps seeing everything in black and white!

http://www.makesenseofcards.co.uk/soacalc.html

On a personal note I would suggest you may be feeling depressed again which could be way you're resenting your girlfriend. From personal experience I know when I've been suffering with depression I tend to really resent those close to me for being 'happy' when I'm not because the only feelings you have are negative ones. Actually it's great that you have someone who stays with you so often and is supportive - treasure that girl!

Good luck with it and keep posting so we know how you're getting on.

Ruby xx

Gaz1234_2

Thanks for your reply,I think you are right the depression makes one see things in the wrong light at times, be posting soon