New and in need of support

stressedmumtobe

Hi All,

I'm totally new here but have used Martins Site for information and advice in the past - but i'm just feel totally stressed out and down today - I really need some words of wisdom and hopefully reassurance that it will be okay!

Myself and my partner don't earn a bad wage between us - and have always coped with our mortgage and bills well, however throughout November, my father who had been living abroad (and completely wasting every penny of his money) for two years returned home as myself and my brother begged him too through being sick of worrying about him, i spent money helping him out and got myself into my overdraft for the first time ever, and have really struggled to get out of it ever since. Its only £1000 max but its a lot to me. My partner has also managed to go into his O/D and our Joint account has gone the same way - its a nightmare. I know this isn't MAJOR debt but its so worrying - we now have a baby due in May and are really getting stressed out. Our car is on its way out and we need a new one that's baby safe, we still have baby furniture to buy and we need the bedrooms carpeted for baby's arrival. I feel like at the moment we cant afford to even eat and i'm tearing my hair out.

I followed advice on another thread and did a statement of affairs, so here goes - i would really appreciate any help or advice that anyone can give me, I'm just so scared right now

Thanks

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 930
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1200
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 2130

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 860
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 35
Council tax............................. 140
Electricity............................. 40
Gas..................................... 30
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 40
Telephone (land line)................... 20
Mobile phone............................ 100
TV Licence.............................. 0
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 22
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 100
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 80
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 20
Life assurance ......................... 15
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 1502


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 1000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 1000


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 148000...(860)......0
Total secured & HP debts...... 148000....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Virgin Credit - Sofa...........700.......25........0
M&S Credit - Misc..............150.......10........0
Overdrafts.....................3000......0.........0
Total unsecured debts..........3850......35........-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,130
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,502
Available for debt repayments........... 628
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 35
Amount left after debt repayments....... 593

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 1,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -148,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -3,850
Net Assets.............................. -150,850

Created using the SOA calculator at https://www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.

earplugs

Hi Stressed,

Nice one on doing the SOA. On looking at it I think you may need to rejig some of the figures and put some in just so its got everything covered.

You pay £140 for council tax - does this include any arrears for previous years - it just seems a bit high to me.

If you were to send the SOA as it is now the £100 mobile bill would be queried by your creditors - it may meanperhaps looking at getting a cheaper contract?

You'll also need to put in the amount for the monthly TV license and also for road tax and car insurance.

Once you've done that my advice wouldb, that if you have more than £100 - £200 surplus after the expenditure has been taken from the income, then you should talk to Payplan or CCCS about getting a debt managment plan - please only get a free one - CCCS and Payplan both do free ones.

Payplan's details are here: http://www.payplan.com/

Also, both you and youre other half would probably benefit from getting new basic bank accounts and then you can treat the old overdrafts as just non priority debts. So you need to get a bank account with a company that you have no financial connection with at the moment.

The Financial Servives Authority factsheet on basic bank accounts is here:

http://www.moneymadeclear.fsa.gov.uk/pdfs/bank_accounts.pdf

This means that you can both have your wages paid into somewhere where you know it won't be eaten up by your overdraft or any other debts you might have with the banks.

So all in all, I'd have another look at the SOA and then once you've done that, contact either Payplan or CCCS and ask for help with a debt management plan. I'd also be getting both of you to open new basic bank accounts for both of your wages to be paid into.

Any other help just keep posting. Hope thats ok.

Good luck for the future.

McKneff

What's your father doing now, does he know the amount of damage he has caused you all, is he working, can you ask him to repay some of the money you have forked out to help him.

CLAPTON

A few comments


- firstly your joint income is in fact rather low especially as your housing costs (mortgage, council tax, utilities ) are more than half your income.

-you really can't afford to support your father financially

- you need to redo you SOA as it leaves too many things out.
It must include all your costs.. not just this month but all the annual and one off costs
like car tax, insurances, servicing etc... even if you have paid them for this year you need to save up each month so you can pay them when they become due without using credit.
Also you must spend something on clothes, socialising, any contacts/glasses, dentist / medical, etc.... do you really spend nothing at christmas or birthdays etc ... all these must be included and SAVED for each month to avoid using ODs

-so start keeping a spending diary and both of you write down absolutely everything you spend for a month or so and see where your money is really going

-what is going to happen financially when the baby is born... work out a new SOA for that period so you know what you can aford to spend.

-babies only really need their parent love and care... they don't need expensive clothes / toys etc.. so see what family, friends, freecycle etc can provide free before spending any money

-100 for mobiles is very very very high... can you cut this down..maybe PAYG and think £10 per month or so.

kimdegsidash

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 930
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1200
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 2130

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 860
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 35
Council tax............................. 140
Electricity............................. 40
Gas..................................... 30
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 40
Telephone (land line)................... 20
Mobile phone............................ 100 I guess you know this is high and could be cut down?
TV Licence.............................. 0
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 22
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 100 Well done - this is very low.
Clothing................................ 0 You might want to allow yourselves a litte bit for new clothes
Petrol/diesel........................... 80
Road tax................................ 0 Do you have a company car?
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0 Is this included with contents?
Contents insurance...................... 20
Life assurance ......................... 15
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0 You need to factor the cost of these into your budget
Haircuts................................ 0 Same here
Entertainment........................... 0 Same here
Holiday................................. 0 Same here - if you plan a holiday - which you deserve if your only debt is down to your father and not of your own doing!
Emergency fund.......................... 0 Same here
Total monthly expenses.................. 1502


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0 Do you need to put a value in here if you have a mortgage
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 1000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 1000


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 148000...(860)......0
Total secured & HP debts...... 148000....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Virgin Credit - Sofa...........700.......25........0
M&S Credit - Misc..............150.......10........0
Overdrafts.....................3000......0.........0
Total unsecured debts..........3850......35........-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,130
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,502
Available for debt repayments........... 628
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 35
Amount left after debt repayments....... 593

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 1,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -148,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -3,850
Net Assets.............................. -150,850

Created using the SOA calculator at www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.

A few suggestions. Your situation is not really so bad, you have a lot of spare cash each month to throw at the overdraft, even taking into account the changes I have suggested above.

fairydiamond

Just wanted to wish you luck and try not to stress - its no good for your baby.

Forris

Hi, again just wanted to add my support and a couple of thoughts.

As has been said a couple of times, that mobile cost is massive. There are some great deals around. Make sure you sign up for Quidco and/or Topcashback - things like mobile contracts earn big cashback rewards.

I know that you are really worried, but your debt is far from unmanageable. It probably feels worse to you as you sound like you are used to living within your means.

Baby stuff - check out all the freebies you can get. Loads of retailers do baby starter packs (Boots, Superdrug, all the supermarkets) as do Aptimil and SMA. As Clapton said, babies need love - not stuff. In the first few years they get through stuff so fast that the 'best value' means 'the cheapest'.

Also, when you do your post-baby SoA, don't forget to look at Child Tax Credit. You will definately get it on your income.

stressedmumtobe

My council tax costs £131 a month – this does NOT include any arrears. I live in a 2 bed “Maisonette” that was worth £148,000 when I bought it – I know from reading the posts on incorrect council banding and checking the old figures that I am clearly in too high a band (I’m in D I think) however I have been reluctant to complain as it says that if you’ve lived in your property for more than 6 months they no longer consider your claim?

The mobile phone costs are £100 but that is including both mine and my partners mobiles, again – I rounded it up so have looked at it more accurately. I understand this is high and am due a new contract at the end of this month which I have managed to reduce to £10 a month! My partner has to have a lot of minutes etc. as he uses his phone for work purposes (don’t even get me started on that – I think work should fund this, but he works for his parents so its difficult!)

“Once you've done that my advice wouldb, that if you have more than £100 - £200 surplus after the expenditure has been taken from the income, then you should talk to Payplan or CCCS about getting a debt managment plan”

I do not understand the above statement – Can anybody help? Sorry.

With regards to the situation with my father – I totally understand that I cannot afford to support him, and although I have mentioned this as the “cause” of my debt per say, I am by no means innocent, my father was just was started it off – it was only a few hundred pounds, but then I just let it spiral and haven’t been able to catch up with myself since – completely my own fault.

I have a difficult situation with my father – he gets very depressed and suicidal etc. and I know its not my job to look after him but I can’t help it – I have tried talking to him, but there is no getting through. I am ready to be completely abused for the next thing I’m about to say – but my partner stupidly let me dad use a credit card in my partners name, which there is now £2,000 worth of debt on, he is paying it back – but it is going to take him forever. He knows that he shouldn’t have done it, but he basically went a bit mad and started using drugs etc (he has done this previously) hence where all the money went, he is now working every waking hour possible and trying to get himself back on his feet – but I cant help but be worried still.

I understand that babies only really need love and care – and I have accepted gratefully all the help offered so far, my mum has kindly bought our pram and car seat and my brother has given me the crib and cot, I’m not overly worried about buying stuff for the baby – more concerned about needing carpet in the room (its dangerously hard flooring otherwise) and a safe car that works!



I know full well I could spend even less on groceries per month, and have made it my goal to do this in future (for example last night I decided to go on to tesco online and literally do a shopping list of food that could last myself and my partner literally months and its easily less than what I would usually spend, so I feel that maybe online shopping is for me, as I am the sort of person that goes in for Milk and spends £30 a time!)

I do not have a company car – I have now included details of road tax etc. divided over 12 months.

My buildings insurance is included within my “service charge”

My problem is, I seem to pay off a dent of the overdraft every month – but it always creeps back up – I don’t have a clue where the money is going and is clearly just being wasted on nothing – this month I have said to my partner that perhaps we should withdrawn an amount of money each when paid and then leave all of our debit cards at home, and once the money is gone – its gone and we cant spend. We need to be more ruthless I know.

Again – thank you all for your words of wisdom and support, it really is much appreciated and I hope that you can advise me on my new and improved SoA with any other money saving ideas.

Also, when Martin told us all to cap our gas and electricity – we did this but now I feel like we have got a really bad deal and am concerned that we’re paying too much – is it possible to get out of a cap without paying a huge fee??


Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household.........
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 930
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1200
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 2130

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 860
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 35
Council tax............................. 131
Electricity............................. 25
Gas..................................... 30
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 27
Telephone (land line)................... 17
Mobile phone............................ 75
TV Licence.............................. 12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 22
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 150
Clothing................................ 20
Petrol/diesel........................... 100
Road tax................................ 10
Car Insurance........................... 50
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 10
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 10
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 15
Life assurance ......................... 20
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 15
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 100
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 1734


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 148000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 1000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 149000


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 148000...(860)......0
Total secured & HP debts...... 148000....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Virgin Credit - Sofa...........700.......25........0
M&S Credit - Misc..............150.......10........0
Over Drafts....................3000......0.........0
Total unsecured debts..........3850......35........-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,130
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,734
Available for debt repayments........... 396
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 35
Amount left after debt repayments....... 361

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 149,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -148,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -3,850
Net Assets.............................. -2,850

Created using the SOA calculator at https://www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using IE browser.

ladybez

You will get loads of help and support on here. I was going to suggest that you think carefully before buying anything for the baby as much of it is over-priced, looks good in a catalogue but is then never used (voice of experience) One thing I would definately consider though is breast feeding rather than bottle feeding, it is soooo much cheaper and offers many health benefits (will now get off soap box!!!) good luck and keep posting

angelflower_2

stressedmumtobe wrote: »

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household.........
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 930
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1200
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 2130

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 860
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 35
Council tax............................. 131
Electricity............................. 25
Gas..................................... 30
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 27
Telephone (land line)................... 17
Mobile phone............................ 75
TV Licence.............................. 12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 22 could you go freeview for a while
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 150 more realistic but do check out the oldstyle boards and think about joining the grocery challenge to make sure you dont go over this
Clothing................................ 20
Petrol/diesel........................... 100
Road tax................................ 10
Car Insurance........................... 50
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 10
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 10
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0 sorry, cant remember if you said this was included in contents. DONT go without this. You never know when you might need it
Contents insurance...................... 15
Life assurance ......................... 20
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 15 really only £180 for a whole year for both of you?
Haircuts................................ 0 put something in here - this is for both of you
Entertainment........................... 100
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0 you should always try to squirrel a small amount away at least, even if it is just to get int the habit of it. Try even for £10 a month
Total monthly expenses.................. 1734


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 148000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 1000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 149000


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 148000...(860)......0
Total secured & HP debts...... 148000....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Virgin Credit - Sofa...........700.......25........0
M&S Credit - Misc..............150.......10........0
Over Drafts....................3000......0.........0 you havent included the monthly cost of the overdraft. Do you pay interst on this? This should be in your soa somewhere.
Total unsecured debts..........3850......35........-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,130
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,734
Available for debt repayments........... 396
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 35
Amount left after debt repayments....... 361

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 149,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -148,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -3,850
Net Assets.............................. -2,850

Hi

I am going to round down your available cash to £250 a month taking into account some things I think you have still missed off.

What I would recommend you do is open a new bank account and have everythign transferred over there. That way you can pay your surplus £250 into the over draft and clear it in 4 months. Once that is done, you can overpay on the other loans and you can be debt free in no time!!

Good luck

stressedmumtobe

In terms of the Sky - I have suggested getting rid to OH for a while - he out right says no (i kind of hoped he would!) we dont really go out much, so this is like our luxury, plus freeview doesn't tend to work in our area! His attitude is a bit rubbish in terms of "oh, whats £22 a month?!" i have tried explaining to him but he's having none of it!

Buidings Insurance is included in our Service Charge

I forgot actually that we pay into a "christmas club" which is £10 a week. We do spend on birthdays but neither of us has massive families - so we dont spend that much.

Haircuts - we don't get our haircut! If we do it is once every blue moon and its done by a family friend.

I didn't even think about the interest on our O/D's to be honest. i think they probably total to around £40 a month interest which is quite rubbish really.