partner who likes to bury his head in sand

rose11

My bf is crap with money, and anything that comes in the post from banks, to do with tax, fone bills anything like that he hardly use to open them, he now lets me open them, and I have also tried to take over them money because I'm slightly better, but I'm finding it hard when alot of the time he doesn't want to talk about it, like if I ask him about the bank or stuff, he can get really moody about it.I think he would prefer it if I took over all of it, but he also doesn't seem to want me to. He doesn't like being told what he can spend or being asked about what hes spent. He's also got 2 credit cards which i make sure we pay all off each time. But he went over his credit limit again( he used to to it before) so we were charged for that. but it doesn't seem very important to him. I've told him to keep an eye on it, but he just thinks he knows how much is left. We are JUST coping to pay DD visas etc off at the moment. But I find it hard to get him to not waste money etc. I must admit he is better than he was but I personally think he needs to do more for us to save money. Sorry to go on but I feel at the end of my tether, and I don't like to tell my family, because we owe them money as well which dont help.. I wish someone could just come to our house and sort out what we need to do and also maybe get my bf to understand.

BluePumpkin

It may not be much help, but you could be describing my boyfriend! He'll do anything to avoid talking about money, and completely refuses to even think about getting a mortgage etc. I've yet to find a way to talk about it. We just split all the household stuff 50/50. Although I still end up topping up our bill account some months :rolleyes: If you find a way to talk about money with partners then you should patent it and make a fortune!

rose11

Thanks for your reply :beer:... It's good to know theres someone else who knows what I'm going through. I think as well as being crap with money my bf doesnt want to grow either which I don't suppose helps. We are now scrapping by, I had to use my savings to pay some things off. I am hoping things will one day get better which isn't helped by how things are with the credit crunch. I would like to be able to afford things I used to be able to and would love even more things. We haven't got kids or a house yet. But sometimes my bf seem happy to be like this and doesn't think things will get better! Well you never know miracles do happen!!!

RAS

Hi love

You might suggest that BF deals with a debt charity.

I would however suggest that if he is not mature enough to face up to his debt problems/spending issues, he is not long-term partner material.

I know you love him to bits and waht it to work, but if you take control, he will be like this in another 10 years and you will have 2 kids to think about, or even worse, wil have not dared have kids because of his attitude to money.

other will post but do read some of the posts on "how do I get my OH to have his LBM (light bulb moment).