Hiya, im a newbie on here :)

Evansangel

Hi everyone, i've probably spent the past week reading most of these threads before actually signing up lol.

Im getting married in June 2010, and i googled "cheap wedding reception ideas" and this came up :rotfl:

Anyway i have a bit of a problem that you may be able to help with..

I asked a friend of mine who i was close to at the time to be my cheif bridesmaid, but now i hardly ever see her. She's at uni in London, and whenever she comes back down all she wants to do is go out drinking and i dont drink, so when i say (repeatadly) that i dont drink she just ignores me.
We hardly ever speak unless she wants something from me.
(I do make the effort to speak to her lol)
When i asked her to be cheif bridesmaid she started saying things like "she wants a different better dress than the others to show that she's the chief bridesmaid and they aren't" and started sending me links to dresses that are soo expensive and not even in the theme.

And im actually closer to one of my other bridesmaids.

So how do i tell her that she cant be cheif bridesmaid? lol.

Thank you

saraht1235

I had a similar problem as my sister - who i see/speak to everyday - wanted to be my cheif bridesmaid. However, shes the same as she only wanted to do it for the 'status'. She had no interest in helping me organise or arrange anything - even threatened to show me up on the day when she had a huff on! Anyway, i explained to her that theres alot of duties required by a chief bridemaid and you need someone who is around often and is willing and able to do them.
She wasn't impressed but quickly got over it.

Evansangel

Well i have 4 pageboys who will be 7ish, and a 10 yr old flowergirl.

And she wont want to help with them, my other bridesmaids love kids, and will want to help with them.

Hmm.. I just dont want to hurt her feelings

mrshaigh2b1987

id just explain to her that as shes lives away from you andover the comin months your gonna need someone thats with you to go places with you and look at things then maybe she shud just be a normal bridesmaid if this is ok with her. then chances are if shes a real good friend she will tell you not to worry an that she understands!


T x

ema_o

Do you need to have a chief bridesmaid? Can they not all just be bridesmaids and you can share out the duties between them?

MsChazzer

I agree with ema_o, that's what I'm doing. I'd also adopt mrshaigh2b's suggestion and say that because she lives so far away you are dividing up the duties between them, that should minimise hurt feelings (although it sounds like she's not exactly been pleasant to you).

snugglepants

Evansangel wrote: »

Well i have 4 pageboys who will be 7ish, and a 10 yr old flowergirl.

And she wont want to help with them, my other bridesmaids love kids, and will want to help with them.

Hmm.. I just dont want to hurt her feelings

Ooooo you're getting married 1 year and 30mins after me! :rotfl:

I had this problem too, and she's not my joint maid of honour anymore. She's not even speaking to me now. Oh well, obviously would have been the worst wedding decision!