Wedding with no young children, help!

Noctu

Sorry to bring this up again..! As some of you may remember we have (or had!) decided to have no young children (under 10) at our wedding.

However my cousin has a child who will be 15 at the time of the wedding, and a baby who will be 2 and a bit (he's just been born). They live about 250 miles away. This will mean seperating the children.

I feel guilty doing this. What would you do in this situation? FWIW we travelled down & attended their wedding last year.

Another option I have been toying with is simply to invite the children of family only. This is not what we really want... and they may not even want to bring them anyway... but for those who have to travel, I feel bad that they would be forced (rather than perhaps choose) to arrange childcare as well as transportation if we stuck to the adults-only thing.

What are your thoughts?

roxalana

I think it is your choice if you don't want to invite children. However, how would you feel if your cousin decided not to come because she couldn't leave the baby with anyone? If it would be a disappointment but ok, then stick to your guns. Plus depending on your venue they might have rules about allowing children under a certain age...

burnoutbabe

can't they all come down and the 15 year old look after the 2 1/2 year old in a hotel room that day? unless you really want the 15 year old there.

morg_monster

burnoutbabe wrote: »

can't they all come down and the 15 year old look after the 2 1/2 year old in a hotel room that day? unless you really want the 15 year old there.

i have to say, most 15 year olds i know would not be happy with this arrangement! (nor most 2 1/2 year olds, thinking about it!...)

gibboelli

Just invite the parents. We're not having any kids at our wedding as we cant stand them and no one seems to find this an issue!

heatherbelle_3

Each to their own but I can't imagine not having the kids of our friends and family there. We are set on our big day being a huge family celebration and the kids are as much a part of that as their parents! But each to their own I guess!
I happen to love kids though and I run a kids party business - we also entertain kids at weddings so that everyone can relax and the kids get to have a good time and dont get bored.
I have also worked at weddings where we left and then a team of babysitters came and put the wee ones off to bed! Perfect!
So maybe see if you can arrange a babysitter for the 2 year old locally? I have done this before and the bride paid me but I have also had it where the parents of the child paid me... I am sure you could come to an arrangement!

marshmallow13

are you having the reception in the hotel? You could compromise and say they could have baby in church (as long as they take it out if it screams) and offer to pay for a babysitter in the room of the hotel? wont be too expensive.

non_believer_2

I think it's quite simple. If you don't want children at your wedding, don't invite them. However, you have to be prepared to accept that some friends or family who have children may not be able to attend because of this, especially if they live hundreds of miles away. People that have children shouldn't be expected to find childcare and travel a long distance from their children to attend a wedding. I believe it was on your earlier thread that some people were responding along the lines of "they are being selfish if they won't come without their children". Whilst I absolutely support your right to choose not to have children at your wedding and think you shouldn't be made to feel bad about the decision, I also think that parents shouldn't be made to feel bad if they choose to spend their time with/looking after their children and not ditch them for a weekend in order to attend a wedding (assuming, that is, that they just politely decline the invitation rather than sniping about it).

MsChazzer

What non_believer said!

Plus, although it's a nice gesture to arrange a babysitter for them, if they are travelling a long way it's more than likely that they won't have met this babysitter before and may not be comfortable leaving their child with them. Some parents prefer to get to know a babysitter before leaving their children with them, and that's fair enough.

mrshaigh2b1987

as someone else has said its each to there own but i personally think that kids make a wedding but hey ho. why dont u make an exception for the 2and a half yr old and then if neone else moans that they cudnt bring their kids just tell them that it wouldnt be fair 2 have invited one of their kids without the other


T x

lucylouwoo

I have compremissed at my wedding and said that we are having family kids and kids that have to travel, a friend of mine who lives near by did get funny but at the end of the day it is my wedding not her's!!!!!
Do what you want to do, I find it unbelivable that people think they can have an input in what you want to do with your wedding day!!!!