Family reluctant to let me go bankrupt.

SaintsFan67

After a messy divorce 3 years ago I managed to sink myself deep into debt; approx £46K. I left my marriage with no house or any other assets apart from a car which is worth approx £1,500 (I need it for work).
Since then I have been living part time with my parents and part time with my new partner and her children. She earns very little and I now pay the majority of the household bills, (rent, council tax, bills etc.). She too has some debt (£4K), but is reluctant to talk about it.
A previous DMP (in my name only) with CCCS failed to help as I wasn't realistic with my budget, but I have now contacted them again and the budget looks more manageable. Their recomendation was for an IVA and Grant Thorntons have now been in touch to discuss this, but I'm not convinced this is the solution having read other peoples experiences. For some time I have wanted to declare myself bankrupt and get a decent nights sleep!! The catch is though, my finances are spread between both my parents and my partners address.

My parents don't want me to use their address as my dad is worried that my bankruptcy could get confused with him (we have similar names) and he wants to protect his assets and finances.

My partner doesn't want her address used as she is worried about the impact it may have on the children when they later try to get on the property ladder etc. (the eldest is 19). A relative of hers went bankrupt years ago and their kids were later refused credit and mortgages as a result.

I know things have changed now and it's the individual that is "black-listed", not the address, but I can't convince either of them to accept the risk despite everyone agreeing that bankruptcy is the answer. If only I could be of no-fixed-abode and still go bankrupt! The stigma doesn't bother me in the slightest. At least I'd be able to get on with my life.

Sorry for rambling on, but has anyone else got themselves into a similar mess and survived?

eklynne

Maybe it would be useful if you booked an appointment at the CAB for you and your parents/girlfriend so they could get some solid advice on what your potential BR means for them?

tigerfeet2006

You are right in that the address is not affected only the individual. Your dad won't be affected at all, if he is worried then he just needs to keep a check on his credit files and correct them if something does pop up. Surely if he thinks the BR will affect him because of the similar name then by default your bad credit could also affect him. They are being quite short sighted.

It will have no impact on your OH or her children.

If they are worried they really should talk to a debt charity themselves and talk through their worries or even the Insolvency Service. Numbers in my sig.

To be honest I can't understand why CCCS has recomended an IVA, especially with Grant Thornton as they have their very own in house IVA people (cccsva). You have no assets to protect at all so an IVA is usually a stupid proposition.

SaintsFan67

tigerfeet2006 wrote: »

To be honest I can't understand why CCCS has recomended an IVA, especially with Grant Thornton as they have their very own in house IVA people (cccsva). You have no assets to protect at all so an IVA is usually a stupid proposition.

I was surprised too that they passed me on to Grant Thorntons, but I believe this has something to do with their "special" relationship with Northern Rock, who are my main creditor. NR do not like IVA's.

peachyprice

Ok, I'm going to be a bit harsh here, but if you're good enough to pay the majority of your partners bills she should be behind you getting your life sorted.

The alternative would be for you to find yourself a little place of your own where you can go bankrupt without upsetting either her or your parents. Put that idea to her and see if she then realises she's being a bit silly.

tigerfeet2006

SaintsFan67 wrote: »

I was surprised too that they passed me on to Grant Thorntons, but I believe this has something to do with their "special" relationship with Northern Rock, who are my main creditor. NR do not like IVA's.

Yes, there are a few on here because of NR hatred of IVA's.

Hear, hear Peachy.

jay1983

i have been told you can apply to the credit reference agencies and get a notice of dis-assosiation put on your file which says you are not finacially linked to others at your address.
maybe this would put their minds at rest?

SaintsFan67

jay1983 wrote: »

i have been told you can apply to the credit reference agencies and get a notice of dis-assosiation put on your file which says you are not finacially linked to others at your address.
maybe this would put their minds at rest?

Good point. I did that myself to dis-associate myself from my ex-wife when we divorced.

Merry_Gentry

I know it's difficult, but I think it's time to sit your partner and your parents down and tell the reality of the situation - you cannot continue the way you are, you have checked and it should have no deterimental impact on them, and you need to do this because it is affecting your help and your future. It's time to do what's best for you.

Give National Debtline a call, get them to write all their concerns down and get the 'official' answers, then do what it right for you.

SaintsFan67

Update!
I have now had a phone meeting with Grant Thorntons about an IVA as an alternative to bankruptcy, but I am now more confused than ever before.
As my main creditors are Northern Rock and HSBC, they say that I must offer at least 40p in the pound if my proposal is to be accepted. This is more than I can afford right now. I accept that I am responsible for my debts and really wish I could pay, but having no assets to protect, other than my modest £1,500 car that I need for work, I do feel that bankruptcy may be my prefered option. I just don't know which way to turn for the best.

Help!!!

tigerfeet2006

I honestly feel you would be mad to go for an IVA. Give National Debtline a ring and get a 2nd opinion. You have no assets to protect so what is the point. Your credit rating is hammered which ever way you go.