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Loopy_Girl

pink_princess wrote: »

Yes i knew he had his daughter before i got with him.I m not helping to pay for a catalouge.This is his child which unfortunatley he has no contact to.Yes i do help pay,as i do any other bill.Actually my oh was made redundant last july,but at the moment we are still managing to pay with over time and money oh is making on the internet etc.We will as a last resort ring up to lower our assessment.
You say kids that have nothing to do with me,yet i would love her to be in my life.His son my sds is in my life 24/7 and i adore.

That's because you are a decent hard working person PP. Most opposite to the delightful Jacklink.

It's strange as well cos in all her rantings shs has never mentioned whether her ex paid for her 2 boys when they were eligible.....

LizzieS_2

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

That's because you are a decent hard working person PP. Most opposite to the delightful Jacklink.

It's strange as well cos in all her rantings shs has never mentioned whether her ex paid for her 2 boys when they were eligible.....

She did elsewhere numerous times - she tried, he was unstable and threatening, she gave up.

pink_princess

Jacklink its not a case of "gimme gimme",just what i believe is right.
Do you think you benefit emotionally from your stance on this?
I would much prefer emotional happiness and self respect than £50 a week.
I would pay double so would my oh,to have his daughter in his life.

kelloggs36

Jacklink, you sound like an extremely bitter person - either accept that your partner has a child with another woman, or don't - if you don't then you should leave and find somebody who doesn't have the baggage as it clearly sticks in your throat that he has to pay - you have to follow the rules whether you like them or not, Pink Princess has the right attitude - either accept the child or leave because if he has a child you have to take on board all the cr*p that goes with it.

Caz3121

Are you and your husband a partnership or not?

I really feel for the children here ... not sure how old they are but to know they have a parent who does not want to support them and their parents partner who wants nothing to do with them. What if your husband wants to have a relationship with his children?

You seem very bitter. Second families are more common these days and if you really don't like the situation you, like kelloggs says, should walk away and be alone, this hatred is eating you up and cannot be good for your health or relationship.

I have a daughter from previous relationship (although now 20) and partner has 2, the 3 children all get on well and we are a family. Yes it is annoying that he gives his ex almost £500 each month and it and she spends a lot of it on drink but there is nothing he can do about that, and yes I make contributions to the children financially, like he does with mine.

Maybe if you were both working you would have less time to stew and your anger would decrease.

doelani

I agree with the other's when you get together with a someone who already has chidren you take on the " whole package" this includes the ex.

I have it from 2 sides, I had 3 children and an ex who refused to see them when I met my current husband. he had 3 children and an ex who they live with.

My current husband took on the responsibilty of my children , financially and emotionally as their father " did not want to see them" but he still had to pay CSA payments, his kids, his responsibilty. He did not see them for 8 years but still had to pay.

My stepchildren live with us 3 days a week and with their mum the rest. We also take them on holiday every second year, help with extra's like school trips, uniforms etc. Every week the first thing that we do when hubby gets his wages is pay his ex, which I would say is more than CSA figures because we know how much it costs to have children. Their mum also remarried and has another child to her new hubby so he also shares the financial responsibity for my hubbys children. His kids basically have 2 sets of parents and 2 homes. I know not all children have this but some do.

We are a family of 6 children , no them and us. When I married it was not only us but the children. Do not get me wrong at times It is hard, at times his ex and I have argues but NEVER over money. This is non negotable, we pay it because she has his children and although they stay with us she has the bigger expenses, clothes, school lunches, food.

There is no point being bitter, everyone has a past. Like it or not if their are stepchildren their are ex wifes/ex husbands.

Our money is that OUR money and the money we give to his ex is for the childrens expences not for her. We know how much their lunches cost each week and we know how much pocket money his ex gives the children so it is not like we are giving her £xxx and the children do not cost that much.

I would add not once in 10 years has his ex asked for more money, we have increased what she gets over the years as kids got older, if they go on holiday with their mum we give them spending money just like when they go with us she gives them. It is all about responsibilty and my hubby has a responsibity to his children and if any man ( including my ex ) decides not to see their children that does not mean they do not share the financial responsibility for them.

Surely you spoke about this before you got together???? Your anger all seems to be at his ex but ultimetly this is about his child.

pinkpig08

Do you know what I hate? People who don't want a job who let taxpayers like me support their children. Jacklink you don't want to help support your partners' children, yet you are quite happy to let every taxpayer support you and yours.

Paparika

What is it with jacklink, they sound so bitter and twisted on here, or are they just an !!!!.

people take on other peoples kids in relationships all the time, you happily do that when you love someone.

Ahhh it twigged is lil jack feeling unloved?

tamsin1982

jack im sure youve said you have kids of your own, do you ever have to support them? how would you feel if your partner made sure they never got any support from you - financial or otherwise? how about if he said he had no interest in them at all?

all it seems you do on these boards is ensure there is no way any maintainence is paid for these children.