How do you phrase about money rather than having a gift list?

bluezone

Dear All,

About to send my invites out (in the next couple of weeks) and was wondering how to phrase it about not having a gift list.

Should I put a note on the invite? If so what should I write? Should I just wait until people reply saying yes they are coming?

I was thinking of putting something like this:
We would like your presence at our wedding rather than your presents but if you would like to give a gift then, as many of you know we have already set up home together so have many of the things traditionally on a 'gift list' so a monetry donation or vouchers would be appreciated.

- Does that sound a tad rude. I do not always have the best way of saying things so please give me your comments regarding this.

Many thanks in advance

B x

efrieze

I would saying something shorter like...

"We are saving for an x...."

You can have a gift list at, say John Lewis, where all you have on your list is vouchers...

picklepick

My friend had a little card wishing well at their wedding for people to pop an envelope in of vouchers or money or just a card.

They said in their invites..... The most important thing is that you're there to share our special day. We won't be having a gift list as we already live together and have most things we need, but a wishing well will be at the reception should you wish to make an anonymous donation towards some larger items we wish to purchase for our home.

Iknow theres some poems out there that people sometimes put in their invites aswell if that takes your fancy

like this...

Because at first we lived in sin
We've got the sheets and a rubbish bin
A gift from you would be swell
But we'd prefer a donation to our Wishing Well!!

more here..

http://www.bridesofaustralia.com/Wishing_Well_Wording_Poem.html

DKLS

How about stating you are adopting the Greek tradition of pinning large denomination bank notes to the grooms suit.

Ms_Chocaholic

A recent wedding invitation I received said (similar to what picklepick posted but not the same so thought I would post it too)

Your presence at our wedding is present enough
But if you do wish to buy a gift for us
May we respectfully request a gift of money ot help
the dream of our home together come true

MsChazzer

I think I like picklepick's friend's wording best (I can't stand all the poems that people use). I would be inclined to state that you are using it towards items for the house or something, I think just asking for money can sound a bit crude. We went to a wedding where they asked for money towards a wood burning stove which I thought was lovely and a really good thing to remind you of your friends and family.

There seems to have been loads of threads about gift lists, we all seem to have different opinions on them!

*starla*

We had a gift list at John Lewis, but as it was quite a small list with nothing particularly exciting on it, we found that we did actually get quite a lot of money instead. We also only put the gift list cards in the day invites (didn't expect anyone just coming to the evening to get us anything) so we received money from the evening people who wanted to (although some did ask for the gift list and bought from that). We got loads of dollars for our honeymoon in Australia.

So maybe you could just have a small gift list if you didn't want to specifically ask for money, but would prefer it to the usual house gifts. People who go on it wouldn't know there wasn't much on it, they would just think it had been bought. But make sure you do it somewhere that if you get gift vouchers, you would want to spend them there.

bluezone

many thanks for all the replies -wil show the OH later on and devise something.

littlearfer

What is the etiquette of asking for money to go towards a house deposit, rather than stuff to go into a house? We've saved some money, but the wedding is relieving us of about 5k, so we're on about 5% deposit for the type of house we want, and we'd need more than that for a decent mortgage deal.

We were thinking of asking people to 'buy a brick'...is that too cheeky?

bluezone

Buy a brick? Well at the end of the day you can always ask

Alikay

Why don't you just credit your guests with some common sense and let them work out that if you have no list, a cheque would be more useful than a toast rack? We've given money at every wedding we've been to in 20+ years, and now that so many people live together first I can't believe anyone needs telling! If someone actually asked us for money, though, I'd feel a bit put out .....it's a bit like the difference between treating a friend to lunch and, well....them asking if you're paying before the event: The same outcome, but one makes you feel you're making a nice gesture, the other smacks of a sense of entitlement on the recipients' part.

The twee poems are just horrible and would probably put me off attending!