Picking baby up

Nicky321

My daughter put in a claim through CSA about 4 - weeks ago and hasnt really heard anything since. Shes gave them a ring this morning and they say they have received paperwork from her babys dads employer, and are dealing with the claim, hopefully she should hear more in a couple of weeks.

The query I have is, her babys dad is having her son on Thursday this week (evening & overnight), but he wants her to then go to his mums home on Friday to pick the baby up? She will have to use public transport both there and back. Obviously this will incur costs, and so far he hasnt given her a penny since Sept 08 (although he is in full time employment), and she is relying on benefits. I personally would think he should be responsible for costs involved in picking the child up and returning him safely as he was the one who walked out and shacked up with another girl? Am I wrong?

laurenjs88

Well, he should be paying CS however if they have all the paperwork he will be made to pay arrears anyway.

I think "morally" he should be paying at least half of the costs but he is under no obligation too.

Benefits give me enough money as a single parent to use public transport, so I dont think its going to take food off of the table for your daughter & grandchild.

Unfortunatly if he's abit of a p***k, she may just have to lump it & be the bigger person.

sassygirl_2

i am not getting at anyone personally here, but i have to get this off my chest.

I am the NRP for my son. I pay csa every month for my son. I pay for the fuel to put in my car to collect and drop off my son.
i am not working and have 3 other children at home to support.
why is it that the PWC always seems to think the NRP should pay for everything, so they can be a part of their childs life.

my ex is the one who threw me out on the streets, he is on IB due to depression, has two cars and nice new stuff he keeps braggin about, yet im the one whos strugglin but still paying for everything for my son just so i can keep seeing him.

it should be a two way thing, if your daughters ex picks baby up, then yes she should then pick baby up again. its called compromise.


sorry, just had to get that off my chest.

dipsy

My partner is the NRP and every other weekend on a Friday he travels a 5 hour journey to collect his children and a 5 hour journey back , having to hire a car to do the journey as he does not have his own car and I need mine for work, then does the same again on a Sunday, so a day out of work each fortnight, luckily self employed so he can take the time out to do this, and 20 hrs travelling time, hire car/petrol and other associated costs with having his 2 children for the weekend.

His ex still does not see that he is doing his "bit" even though was her choice to move to the other end of the country as she cited that she would have family and friends around her to give her support with the children.

I think alot of the picking up/dropping off depends on the relationship you have with the NRP, my ex is the NRP and he tends to do the picking up and dropping off, but then he doesn't live far from me and if I am passing his way when it is time for the children to come home I will offer to collect to save him the journey.

guess its all about meeting half way with each other, some people manage to do this and others cannot seem to let go and continue to have battles forever and a day.....

Hope your daughter gets the CSA side of things sorted out soon

Nicky321

Thanks for the replies, I can see it from both sides. But he is saying "he will pick him up" but "not drop him off". She always goes out of her way to meet him in town when he is picking him up, and meets him in town when he drops him off, but now hes saying he cant even do that..... I agree most parents would split 50/50 and this is ideal, but he doesnt pay a penny then goes spending it on tattoos, and other unnecessary things, then expects her to spend even more money so he can have the pleasure of seeing his child.