got to sell my house!

Little_Miss_Winner

I agree with ss!

homer_j_3

I would like to congratulate and commend you for being so brave in what you are doing. Everybody is right in saying you should look at the future and what quality of life you will be able to provide. It has to be better than what you can provide now.

I am somebody who is a little like you, in terms of always worrying how I will be perceived and can honestly say that I am nearly there in becoming somebody who doesn't care about what others think and doing what I want. If you can focus that worry into energy in making a more positive impact in your life then I am sure you will some become a much ahppier person.

As an exercise, why not write down your concerns and then when you have sold up and moved on have a look at what you have written (or keep a copy of this post) and then see what you realise.

If you ever feel down, get yourself on here and I am sure you will get the support and encouragement that you need. Good luck with your road to recovery.

tattooed_lady

Poppy, I've not been through what you are going through but just wanted to say I think you are very courageous in what you are doing. It's very inspirational to see someone make such a huge sacrifice to put their life back on track. I wish you and your family tons of luck :heartsmil

deutzkiwi

I'd just like to second what others have said, you're being very brave with what you're doing - the suggestion of writing things down is a great idea, I think I might try it myself!

We are in a similar situation, with debts from my fiance's previous marrage, solicitors "typos" that cost us £6000+ and just generally being bad with money. We're doing the same thing - selling up and moving in with my parents for a while, and we're not likely to get much left over from the sale either. We also have a one year old, who certainly helps me get through it when I spend time with her, knowing she has no worries, so long as she is happy, healthy and with those that love her.

Good luck with everything, its great to know we're not the only ones!

tango

poppy, good luck, we were repossed back in the early 90's and it was a awful time for us.
i have learnt in life,that people who judge,are often deeply insecure and unhappy themselves. this is your life not anyones else :kisses3:

mom23

Lots of (((((((HUGS)))))) poppy you will come out of this a stronger person, we all worry what people are going to say, But "STUFF EM " at least you have faced your problems and are young enough to start again!!!
Loads of love to you all :heartsmil

pickle

Dont worry about other people, I've been looked down at by lots of mums at school as they say 'oohh you must have severe money problems', I just say we want a fresh debt free start with a cheaper mortgage so we can have a 'life' again. The criticism comes from Mums who have between 5k and 65k (!!) on credit cards and loans themselves, some say but 'oohh to have to sell your house' and I say I don't HAVE to sell my house but as I can't afford it I may as well!!!




Exactly. These people who have this attitude need to get a life. So what if you own a house or don't own a house. Who gives a s**t. These people who sneer or look down at others don't own their houses - are their mortgages fully paid or does the bank really own it!!?? And even if they were it wouldn't make them better people. I could afford to buy a house but choose not to. Firstly, because right at the moment they are a terrible investment and secondly because our lives would be unnecessarily restricted and I don't want to have to stay in one area just because of having a mortgage around my neck. Are they going to write on your tombstone "I had a nice house and was able to sneer at others"? Is that it? There's more to life than that. I find it a useful tool for weeding out people I'd rather not get to know if they behave in such a fashion. And I agree they're probably up to their eyeballs in debt. Rant over now.

poppy25

I just wanted to thank everyone so much for there kind words and support it truly has made me feel better so thank you :grouphug:

After waking up this morning i feel sightly more positive (even after no sleep all night) ive come to the decision that my house is just bricks and mortar everything it contains inside that means something to me is coming with me.
i have a very supportive family, a wonderful partner and a great child.

and the positive thing is we will be able to clear all our debts start a fresh, i am young and although im ashamed that i am this young and its happening to me as my parents have said its much better happening now then 5- 10 yrs down the line when i would prob have more children and more responsibilities.

selling my house is the best option i am going to do for the sake of our child before it gets repossesed.

My problems could be a lot worse and i am very thankful for what i have already and appreciate the fact that there are alot of people who are in worse situations.

i have my health, family, partner and child and they are the things that matter

AMILLIONDOLLARS

Poppy25

Don't worry about it. We've been there and had to do the same. The only difference is that we did not move in with mum and dad, we had to go into temp housing in a flee pit hotel. One room with a baby, could not bring myself to cook in the 'commual kitchen', disgusting:eek:. Stayed there for 6 months, we were very lucky, until were rehoused. We eventually bought our ground floor council flat sold and moved twice to the house I've got now. I am very determined not to loose it now, so following the daily advice on this Board. Thank Folks

You will bounce back, even stronger than before, ignore what people are going to say, I bet a few of them wished they had the courage to do what you're going to do!!

Good luck

lush_walrus

Well done Poppy its a hard process to start, but once you are well on your way you will definately feel much better. I always work on the premise that out of bad comes good, and 99% of the time it does, you just have to wait for the good to come now. So bare with these incredably difficult times and keep looking forward to the good coming.

As for peoples reactions, well don't even consider it. Hold your head up high and don't volunteer them information, if they really are that desperate to know why you are doing what, then force them to come to their own conclusions (probably the wrong one!) or face having to come out and ask you face to face. Their nosiness and need to find out about you is their problem, not yours and don't let people with an interest in gossip put their needs to know onto you.

To be honest, in life I find that regardless of your status people will talk about you. If you are doing well and moving up lifes ladder, people will gossip and discuss you out of jealousy. If you are going through a down period, people will delight in it, but only because it makes their life seem more in control and offers them comfort.

Forget them all, look after your family and real friends, these gossiping people are not part of your life and nor should they be. Anyone with a grain of self respect does not enjoy seeing someones downfall, so if they do, sit tight and wait for theirs, we ALL have them.

Out of this your family bond will become stronger than ever, I am really sure of it. The alternative to have kept your house could well have resulted in the pressure of the debts pulling you and your family into stress and disagreement, possibly blaime, and definately nothing positive at all.

Let those who want to keep up with the Jonses do just that, you are different to that and let yourself laugh inside at those who want to be the same as everyone else.

Good luck and stay on track of what you are trying to acheive, you are trying to improve the life of your family (long term) and are on your way to doing so. xxx