Advise for a friend desperately needed; relationship split and neg equity!

angelpye

Hi, just checked in to see how its going. Personally I wouldn't walk away, he has no right to hold all the cards and have potentially negative effects on her life for years to come. He sounds like he is out for revenge and anger is an emotion that makes communication very difficult.
Urge your friend to get legal advice before she makes any decisions, please! Although sorting bills and council tax is a must and she shouldn't wait another day. If she writes a list of all she needs to do and maybe has a mate to hold her hand at the start she should start to feel in control - especially when she starts ticking things off that list.
Also advise her to have a list of all questions she has about the situation and then she can take the ones (however small) relevant to the solicitor and use that free consultation as productively as possible. The other questions she may eventually get answers to herself.
If it was me I would not let anyones feelings of hurt give them a licence to try or threaten to ruin my life - we only have one, it has to be good!
Hope I dont sound too harsh but relationship breakdown is something I have dealt with lots in my career (oh, and private life :-) ) and it only gets worse if you dont face it! Big hugs to you and your mate, she is lucky to have you at her side!

MurrayMint

Hi Angelpye,

Many thanks, all of your advise is much appreciated. I will help her and do think she just needs the hand holding to get her started, after that she will be able to take control. Unfortunately at the moment she's weighed down by guilt and overwhelmed and panicked about where to start.

We'll start listing all the elements that you guys have mentioned and what actions are needed. Obviously some are easier to deal with and others are going to need 3rd party assistance. I'm now thinking that if they can get to mediation, maybe things will be able to be resolved more amicably?

She is reading these messages, and who knows, maybe one day she'll sign up herself and let you all know what happened next... If not, then I'll let you know!