Marriage and Debt Question.

kevj1977

Hi All,

I am quite badly in debt, I have voluntarily given my house back to the mortgage co and moved in with my OH.

My problem is, that we are planning to get married in May 2010, and have booked the venue, band etc.. all the main (expensive) things.
These need paying for and i am currently putting a little money away each month into my OH's savings account to cover this.
My question is this, would an IVA/DMP/BR take into account the need to save up for this, or would i be told i wasn't allowed to?
We have already signed contracts with these venues/people so are we now contractually obliged to honour the bookings.

Would i be better trying to struggle on with my debts until after the wedding, in order to give my OH the day she deserves?

Thanks.

trina2010

i think you need to have a rethink here.

being deep in debt is not really the time to be thinking about spending thousands of pounds on one day for a piece of paper and a party (im not being heartless, i am engaged to be married myself but at the end of the day you need to think objectively here)

venues will usually give you your full deposit back if you cancel over 12 months before the date, the same with everything else, but i would check your contracts. For a date in May the chances are they will be able to resell the date to someone else, so should the band etc.

I can only advise you that if you want to give your OH the day she deserves put it off until you CAN afford it. For now you need to focus on what is important....repaying some of that debt.
Remember that when you marry your debt becomes her debt....is that really the wedding present you want to give?

~Beanie~

trina2010 wrote: »

Remember that when you marry your debt becomes her debt....is that really the wedding present you want to give?

No it doesn't!!

I agree that you shouldn't really be spending a fortune on a wedding when you have big debts! You can get married really cheaply in a register office, there is no need for a big do with a reception / band etc. If that is what you really want, you should wait until you can afford it.

I doubt that your creditors will look favourably on someone who claims not to be able to afford to repay their debts and is looking at a DMP/IVA but who is able to save money to pay for a big weding bash!

shakeNmake

I've got to agree. Pay off real debts rather than save towards something ephemeral.

The wedding day will be special no matter what you do, band or a DJ, hotel ballroom or back room of a pub. Remember that these huge Beckham style weddings have only really been as common as they are in the last 10 years thanks to huge amounts of debts being racked up by everyone involved. Up until about 25 years ago, a honeymoon was often a couple of nights in a BnB in Margate, so a money-saving wedding would actually be very traditional!

catherine_h_2

I have to agree with everyone else ....probably not what you want to hear but unfortunately debts take priority:rolleyes:
Have you had a chat with your OH about this? She may agree that postponing would help you both out. Can you keep whats been booked but move it to a year later(by which time you'll hopefully have made huge inroads into the debt):D

How much are you hoping to spend on the wedding?!?!?

I got married in april and we were so excited when we were planning about what to buy and didn't think about money until mum sat me down to talk about BUDGET. Totted up what I wanted and came to £15k, I'm sorry theres no way I was paying that for just 1 day................we've got the rest of our lives together to spend that kind of money!:p

Really got into the money saving then, ended up with everything I wanted(and thensome) and only spent £5k(inc parents help)........Hubby made me a banner for the evening 'do saying "Sponsored by Ebay' :rotfl:

Moral of the story, you're wedding will be amazing and special no matter where/when you have it:D

Our honeymoon was amazing too........................4 nights in the Lakes(Cost £300 if anyone wants to know) amazing weather and plenty to do....doesn't get any better than that!! So get rid of those debts and all the best for the future

fatbelly

kevj1977 wrote: »

Would i be better trying to struggle on with my debts until after the wedding, in order to give my OH the day she deserves?

I'm going to say that you can plan for your weding ... but you also need to be planning for your debts.

You should by now know where you are going with your debts and should not be vaguely referring to IVA/DMP/BR.

I had a look at some of your posts from last year. They were showing little surplus income (around £100 per month), £58k unsecured debt and an impending mortgage shortfall debt. No assets?

To me that's shouting 'bankruptcy' and if you get moving on it now you should be discharged by May 2010.

But it's possible there may be complicating factors and you should do some research and discussing with the usual sources before taking the plunge - National Debtline, CCCS, CAB and the bankruptcy board.

trina2010

Beanie how exactly doesnt it?

In the eyes of the law you become joined, all assets are joint assets, therefore all debt, joint debt, it works both ways

Storm

Does your fiance know about your debts? I can't imagine insisting on a big, expensive wedding if I knew there was a huge millstone of debt round my OH's neck.

To be honest, one of the most memorable wedding I've ever been to cost less than £1000 - church ceremony, followed by the speeches & toasts in the church hall. We then all went away & went to a social club in the evening, each bringing a plate of food. All the outfits were hired, decorations were made by friends, someone made the cake as a wedding present etc.

There's another happening this summer where instead of gifts, we're being asked to use our 'gifts' instead - some people are singing, someone making the cake, doing flower arrangements, making the invitations, orders of service etc. I love this as it makes us all feel really involved in the wedding, rather than just watching it.

clearing_out_my_pockets

trina2010 wrote: »

Beanie how exactly doesnt it?

In the eyes of the law you become joined, all assets are joint assets, therefore all debt, joint debt, it works both ways

Your credit rating can only be affected by a partner's debt if you have a financial association i.e. a joint account or a joint mortgage.

trina2010

most people will have one or both of those, i know i have both.

anywhoo....read your contracts, get out of as many as you can while you still can, the deadline for full refunds is usually a year before the date, so id get a move made reasonably quickly