is this possible

TurnaroundSue

Hi and welcome to the boards. I agree with Skippy that you really need to cut down on the amount you spend on birthdays. Do you really need to buy that many people and spend so much on each one. Go over to the occasions board and you will find a wealth of experience and inspiration from the peeps there on what can be done on very little money. It is not the amount you spend on someone, but the thought that goes into it. I am sure your mum and dad would rather have something made by your dd than money spent on something that they don't really want/need. Maybe a printed picture of your dd's hands and feet would be nice and that would be really inexpensive.

I agree also that only buying for the children is a must. We only buy for the kids and send the adults a card. If you want though, put a £1 lucky dip lottery ticket in the card and you never know they could become a millionaire.

With your wife going on mat leave, this is the ideal time to tell everyone that you need to save for that as things will be tight then - I expect you will find a few sighs of relief when you mention it also, as they most probably wish the same.

TotallyBroke

cagneuk wrote: »

My DW has suggested, very sensibly, to save up now to compensate for the lack of earnings during maternity as 3 years ago when DD was born we lived off our credit cards and overdraft and that is the reason we have quite a bit of debt. we were running up best part of £1500 per month debt for 7 or 8 month. this time we have to have our heads screwed on.

I agree if overdraft is not costing you much or anything then don't reduce it or pay it off just yet

cagneuk wrote: »

Addition: we have the following birthdays/ anniversarys during saving/maternity period You can get some nice cheap presents. Join upto Boots parenting and others to earn points on nappies etc. Use those points to buy presents so costing you little to nothing

march 7th birthday party 50
march 9th close friend birthday 20 £10
march 17th brother in laws girlfriend 20 £10
march 28th friends birthday party 20
march 30th sister in laws birthday 35
April 12th close friends birthday in blackpool 70
may 9th brother in law birthday 35 £10
June 5th my wife's birthday 35 £0000 Cook a meal for her instead. Make her an iou book. Things like tea in bed for a week, back and head massage, lots of ideas use your imagination. Then she can redeem them when she likes throughout the year
June 13th my eldest daughters birthday 150 How old is this daughter? Seriously cut this back
june 19th wedding anniversary 35
june 27th brother in law 35 £10
july 13th my close friends 20 £10
july 21st mother in laws birthday 35 £20
july 26th inlaws wedding anniversary 50
july 29th my birthday 35 If it is your party it should not cost you anything. Let others buy your drinks
oct 1st BABY DUE . YEY Look at nct website and see if there are any nearly new sales in your area. It's amazing what you can get for very little money
oct 10th my mam's birthday 35 £20
nov 7th best friends little girls birthday 20 £10
nov 16th my sisters 35 £20
nov 18th my dads birthday 35 £20
nov 22nd father in laws birthday 35 £20
nov 23rd mam and dads wedding anniversary 30
dec 25th christmas 1000 Try and reduce this down again spending £10-20 per person
feb 24th daughters birthday 100 How old? Others will be buying toys etc so she only needs something small from yourselves
march 7th birthday party 50
march 9th close friend leanne birthday 20 £20
march 17th brother in laws girlfriend 20 £10
march 28th friends birthday party 20
march 30th sister in laws birthday 35 £20
April 12th close friends birthday in blackpool 70
may 9th brother in law birthday 35 £20
June 5th my wife's birthday 35 Same as above or a different personal home made thing
June 13th my eldest daughters birthday 150 same as above
june 19th wedding anniversary 35
june 27th brother in law 35 same as above

So 35 events not including any weddings and other birthdays we get invited to which is about another 12 or so at least. the cost of the 35 come to 2440 lets say 20 for each of the other 12 so 2680 needed. over the next 17 months is 157.65 per month extra needed to be cut from the 2120. realistically we need to be able to survive on 1962.35.

This thing just gets harder....

cagneuk wrote: »

SO THIS IS LEADING TO A FEW HOURS OF BRAINSTORMING AND TEARS
HERE'S MY SOA

INCOME

my wage 1290
dw wage 980 not inc bonus etc Put all bonuses straight into savings
child benefit 80 not inc increase when new baby is born Put all extras straight into savings
tax credit 36.57 not inc increase when new baby is born same as above. You can then use this as you need it

Total 2395.35

Outgoings

Mortgage 473.39
Secured Loan 310.44
Water Rates 31.48
buildings & contents 28.21
telephone bt 22 This is quite high for monthly. Can this be reduced at all.
broadband 18 Can you not combine this with landline or sky for much cheaper
tv license 11.95
council tax 100
child support 71.33
car insurance 76.68 This is very high even for two of you. What do you drive? Can you price comparison to find cheaper
sky tv 20.50
capquest 60
moorcroft 60
02 my mobile 30 Phone 02 and reduce the tariff
02 dw mobile 40 same as above
bank transfer 81.37 (to cover mot/tax/dentist)
petrol 100
gas 137 These utilities are very high. You really need to cut back on these. I pay less than this for my gas, electric and water
electricity 90 as aabove
h/keeping food 200 (this has had to take a big drop but hoping it will be enough)

total 1962.35

WAKE UP...
your thoughts greatly recieved.

I have posted some comments in blue for you. I spend a maximum of £20 on ammediate family and between £5 and £10 on extra people. As for wedding anniversary gifts I only buy if I was at the wedding otherwise a card is sufficient. You don't have to stop buying but don't spend so much.

cagneuk

thanks for the advice will look at the occasions board for ideas but hopefully if we can manage it on the budget then the birthday amounts are achievable. But if we can reduce them with some ideas then the extra money will always help.
I agree our nobile contracts are ridiculous and we will be looking to drop them when contract is up.
sky and broadband will be the last things we give up if we have to as dd loves he kids channels and it's our only form of entertainment.
we tried suggestign only getting cards for adults but were practically shunned by the family at the idea. will try again though. none of my relatives family have kids so money is a bit easier for them or so it seems.
your right about my parents though, they would much rather have something made by dd but my dw parents are a different kettle of fish and I don't see why my parents shouldn't have money spent on them if dw's parents do. I know that's something that I wil probably have to deal with at some point but for now I'll look elsewhere.
I've looked at upping income before and held down two jobs for a while but I'm just recovering from a minor stroke and don't have the energy just yet and I think online surveys etc just don't pay enough for the effort I would have to put in. but again it depends how desperate we get.

cagneuk

Re: Totally broke.

Wow thanks for your indepth analysis and advice. will take your suggestions to dw and hope that we can get some of them agreed. thank you again very much.

barnaby-bear

TurnaroundSue wrote: »

Hi and welcome to the boards. I agree with Skippy that you really need to cut down on the amount you spend on birthdays. Do you really need to buy that many people and spend so much on each one. Go over to the occasions board and you will find a wealth of experience and inspiration from the peeps there on what can be done on very little money. It is not the amount you spend on someone, but the thought that goes into it. I am sure your mum and dad would rather have something made by your dd than money spent on something that they don't really want/need. Maybe a printed picture of your dd's hands and feet would be nice and that would be really inexpensive.

I agree also that only buying for the children is a must. We only buy for the kids and send the adults a card. If you want though, put a £1 lucky dip lottery ticket in the card and you never know they could become a millionaire.

With your wife going on mat leave, this is the ideal time to tell everyone that you need to save for that as things will be tight then - I expect you will find a few sighs of relief when you mention it also, as they most probably wish the same.

I'm reeling from the fact he knows his brother in law has a girlfriend, her name, her birthday let alone spending more than a card.... that's a lot of random people and presents.... your wife works for a QUARTER of the year, roughly 3 whole months just to buy presents - WOW!Child support seems very low so compensating so it seems fair to give the eldest child a decent sum though.

barnaby-bear

cagneuk wrote: »

gas 137
electricity 90

Is there a typo in here or double counting? Or arrears that will be eventually cleared. These figures aren't within the boundaries of normal.

barnaby-bear

cagneuk wrote: »

we tried suggestign only getting cards for adults but were practically shunned by the family at the idea. will try again though. none of my relatives family have kids so money is a bit easier for them or so it seems.
your right about my parents though, they would much rather have something made by dd but my dw parents are a different kettle of fish and I don't see why my parents shouldn't have money spent on them if dw's parents do. I know that's something that I wil probably have to deal with at some point but for now.

Since your in some excessive-present giving land mafiosa plot.... you must get equal quantities of gifts in return.... can't you put the spreadsheeting to good use to recycle the gifts to people (you can have a spreadsheet to keep track of whose connected - or a spider chart :rotfl:so reducing the risk of being caught)... or launder the dirty gifts via ebay - sell on the gifts you get and buy someone elses.... or get your wife some kind of crafting hobby and tell everyone that as gifts she wants the raw materials to make picture frames/painted flower pots etc and recycle the gifts.....

cagneuk

barnaby-bear wrote: »

Child support seems very low so compensating so it seems fair to give the eldest child a decent sum though.

Thank you, I won't really budge on childrens presents. I grew up with very little at birthdays and christmas and promised to allow my kids to have good presents. You're right my child support is low, it has recently been reduced from over 330 per month. So I do try to make up in pocket money, time spent together,and at birthday and christmas.

My eldest dd is 11 so wants the moon on a stick.

LilacPixie

what about Christmas??

TotallyBroke

cagneuk wrote: »

thanks for the advice will look at the occasions board for ideas but hopefully if we can manage it on the budget then the birthday amounts are achievable. But if we can reduce them with some ideas then the extra money will always help.

They can be achievable, you need to buy things in the sales, buy online via a cashback site. For example if you buy from Early Learning Quidco will give you cashback. I did almost all of my Christmas shopping online and earned a little bit of money.

cagneuk wrote: »

I agree our nobile contracts are ridiculous and we will be looking to drop them when contract is up.

You don't have to wait until the contract is up. You can phone them now, tell them your wife is going to go on maternity leave and you would like to reduce the tariff. You could drop by £10-15 per phone each month. If they say no tell them you will not be renewing the contract with them when it is time to renew.

cagneuk wrote: »

sky and broadband will be the last things we give up if we have to as dd loves he kids channels and it's our only form of entertainment.

You don't have to give this up but for £5 you can get a good broadband package from sky even their most expensive one is only £10 so will save you £8 per month.

cagneuk wrote: »

we tried suggestign only getting cards for adults but were practically shunned by the family at the idea. will try again though. none of my relatives family have kids so money is a bit easier for them or so it seems. your right about my parents though, they would much rather have something made by dd but my dw parents are a different kettle of fish and I don't see why my parents shouldn't have money spent on them if dw's parents do. I know that's something that I wil probably have to deal with at some point but for now I'll look elsewhere.

Maybe you should point out to your family that a gift is a gift. And people should never knock a gift horse in the mouth. People can either like your gifts or they can lump them. If they choose to lump them then they are selfish and rude.

cagneuk wrote: »

I've looked at upping income before and held down two jobs for a while but I'm just recovering from a minor stroke and don't have the energy just yet and I think online surveys etc just don't pay enough for the effort I would have to put in. but again it depends how desperate we get.

Some of them pay quite well for little effort. You can scan in your shopping barcodes for points that you redeem against vouchers. This takes no more effort to do as you scan while unpacking the shopping bags and putting it away. Do check out the up your income boards. Daily clicks is not great but again for 15mins a day it can work out good for you. Maybe DW can do this while on maternity while both lo's are asleep. Even if it buys one present in the year it is a saving.