Stay at home and do OS?

Larumbelle

Hollysan wrote: »

OH is being very supportive, can see lots of benefits.

That, I think, is hugely important and a positive sign. If you decide to go for it you've got the best knowledge base in the country to fall back on (umm... that's us! )

You're both under no illusions and I think that's important. I do think that if you go for it, it'll suit you down to the ground

2boysmum

Hollysan, I have made the decision to give up work at the end of June. My 2 boys are 5 and 12. I used to work full time and was quite career orientated and worked a lot of hours until we went on holiday and my youngest said how much he liked it when he got to see his mummy everyday, that broke my heart and as soon as we came home from holiday I took on a part time job. I went from working nearly 60 hours a week to 16 hours a week!! I still have to use afterschool care etc, so am still paying out money, and when it comes to the summer holidays it will cost me around £90 a week for the summer club. So during the summer I would be working for nothing, pretty much. OH is being supportive but can tell that in the back of his mind he is slightly worried about how we will cope financially. I plan to hand my notice in and finish working at the end of June just as the Scottish school holidays are starting, we are going to Florida for a fortnight and once the schools go back I may consider finding another job if it doesn't work out

thriftmonster

Hi Hollysan,

I'm in a very similar situation - I'm an accountant, work part time (10 hrs a week), have freelance work as well as big Scout committments each week. Dh's job takes him away a lot - can be weekends as well as during the week. My kids are 9 and 13.

However I love my job - I work for a charity - and they're very flexible about snow days, INSET days, school hols etc. I cope by turning down the extra freelance work I do. But I do enjoy the adult company at work especially when dh is away for 2 weeks at a time - I have no family close by.

But if you don't love the job, my experience is that there is plenty of freelance work out there especially if you can keep overheads and costs down by working from home.

Good luck

Hollysan

Good morning everyone, lovely morning here in Norfolk.

SILVERCHARMING - Yes, I fully intend to tap into that knowledge base even more than I do now!

2BOYSMUM - You must be VERY organised to have worked that much! Even working 13 to 16 hours each week requires a lot of effort and organisation,I find, because of all the things you can't do when you are running around. Good luck with your plans, I look forward to hearing how you get on.

For those who posted yesterday:

CATERINA - Sounds as if you want to stay put for now, but could you do what you do freelance in the future, when things have settled down? I will let you know how I get on with this change; I am definitely going to do it. OH and I have agreed!

Hollysan

Patchwork_Quilt

Hi Hollysan - I'd go for it too. I stayed at home until my youngest child was 12 and never regretted a moment. My daughter says that the best thing in the world is to come home and find me in the kitchen, baking something. It makes her feel secure.

I would add, though, that you might consider some training. I felt that I'd lost some confidence professionally when I went back into the job market. Part time study is something I should have been doing all along. Even taking a course in something you are interested in but not going to earn a living at looks good on the CV and of course, might lead to an interesting change of direction.

Good luck.

Butterfly_Brain

Please keep us informed of how it goes for you. I wish you well x

Hollysan

Thriftmonster - your situation is spookily similar!
Patchworkquilt - one of the issues is the LACK of training we get at work. I want to have the time to do my CPD (continuing professional development) and direct my own studying.
Butterfly Brain - Thank you!

I have now resigned, and leave later in March. I am really excited about it, and do intend to build up my freelance work once I have caught up with everything at home. I have already been invited to submit my CV for a one day a week job working for a local charity, freelance, so I hope it will prove easy to get the work.

I am already thinking about how I will spend my time, and have lots of OS ideas, so I will let you know how it goes.

Thanks for all your interest.

Hollysan

Rowan9

Good for you Hollysan. You've really thought it all through. I gave up work when we had our first. At the time I was earning more than ex-DH and the way we did it was to save my salary for the final few months so we could get used to not having it to spend. I went back to VERY part-time work - 5 hours a week- when eldest was 5 and I could take my young 3 yr old to work as they had a creche (Community Education worker in those days).
Move on 19 years and I am looking to give up full-time work as college lecturer to study for 3 years. Fingers crossed. I think at different stages in our lives we evaluate work (well, not everyone!) and I'm very lucky that I'm in a position to be able to make some changes too.
Look forward to hearing how you are getting on!
w

JillD_2

Hi
I think I am echoing what most people have said.

I gave up work in December to be SAHM. I was in IT and always thought of myself as a career girl, couldnt ever imagine giving up.
It was fine when I just had the 2 kids but somehow since having the third its been manic.
Mainly there didnt seem to be enough time to do things like laundry and shopping and just chill with the kids (5, 4 and 18 months). I felt like I was always frazzled and shouty, tea was always late so the kids got to bed late, and did stuff way into the evening every night which wound husband up and caused an argument as he tought I should get it all done in the day, and said if it wasnt done by 8pm then it didnt get done. Of course I ended up doing it on my own. Weekends were for catching up on the basics.
I used to work 3 schooldays, my DH has his own business and is frequently away for 8 days at a time to the US or Japan, the week before he goes he works late every night and is stressed at home about the trip, and then the week after he's back he is useless and grumpy with jetlag, so every trip he is useless for 3 weeks and 2 weekends are lost.
I have no family here so no help so its busy busy when OH away.
I found the children were very attention seeking because we would get in from school and I would have all the days' bags to sort and repack, 3 lunches to be made up, laundry, cooking, and all the wee ones wanted a piece of me as none of them had seen me all day. The beby in particular was hard work as she didnt understand it of course.
We as a couple were fighting a lot over stupid things, and generally it wasnt a very happy home.

I've loved giving up and havent missed it a bit. (I was there for 12 years and they made it very easy for me to have no regrets by very kindly not even getting me a card..)

I have loads more time to cook proper meals, shop around, plan a bit better, play with the children, do more craft things with them, spend time with the baby. I get some me time by using the creche at the gym (my one remaining extravagance!). The weekends are now for days out - my parents buy us National Trust passes for Christmas so we pack a picnic and have lovely free days out, last weekend we spent an afternoon on the trampoline, something I would never have made time for before.

The children's behaviour is much better, i was there for the baby's first attempt at cruising (I dont think she is ever going to walk LOL) and that alone made it worth while for me.

Husband and I arent arguing as much and the evenings are a bit calmer.

The one downside is of course money is tighter, and this week we've had a few blows see my post on this thread (be warned, its a big un!) but we've been able to tighten our belts, and even with all that, for us me giving up was the right thing to do.

We have had a couple of frosty moments where husband has said things like "if you hadnt given work we wouldnt be so skint" or words to that effect, and I have had to have words about him treating the place (even more) like a hotel - dirty socks lying around, not putting glasses in kitchen of an evening, crisps packets on the floor etc, but we are getting there!

Funnily enough I was thinking longer term about doing something finance related and had looked at the AAT site, cant wuite commit to it et, but something to consider for the future. My degree was Physics (I know!!!) of course that was 50% maths , so nappy brain permitting, I should be able to cope.

One thing I do for extra cash is money saving. PM me if you want and I can tell you who I am registered with.

Hope all that helps, its been my experience anyway

Hollysan

WMF - yes, things do change and we have to adapt, I guess. I have worked part-time mostly since the children came along, but I have had periods where I haven't worked at all. I also spent three years doing AAT, part-time. Good luck with the studying!

Jill - what an interesting story; it's really hard to work when they are young, I know. It gets easier as they get older. Mine are 6, almost 7, and nine now. We had some frantic times, shouty Mummy and Daddy, bad behaviour etc. Even now I have days where I am grumpy because I feel overwhelmed by everything and tired. Often I am working in the evening or trying to catch up with the housework, endless washing etc!!

Children do get very attention-seeking if they feel they are not getting enough of you, don't they? That is a factor for me, though less so these days, but I want more time for them. I will be working, but it will be patchy to start with, till I build it up. AAT is a good thing to have under your belt, gives you lots of options.

I expect the lack of money will hit after a while, but I earn so little at the moment, it's a lot of effort for little reward and I am sure I can make up the difference. I hope my work treat me better than yours did! How thoughtless.
I will go and read your thread now!

Hollysan