Ashamed. Time to face up to things.

tassletine

Hello all

I'm a new poster here and having got myself into an awful mess I feel like it's time to be a bit more public about the mess I've got into, in the hope that it might be cathartic in some way.

I've had a serious gambling problem for 7-8 years, becoming far more serious in the last 2-3 years when the amounts involved have absolutely spiralled.

For the most part my wife was unaware of all this. I'd get personal loans to shore things up, I'd go back into my overdraft, get another consolidation loan, and so on, with my head firmly in the sand as to the long term effects of what I was doing. Last year I tearfully confessed everything to my wife. Naturally she was horrified but was also fantastically supportive and pro-active about the situation.

I've taken a few tentative steps into the world of non-gambling, it's going well so far, fingers crossed, but - of course - the financial impact will take a lot longer than a few months to recover from.

The situation in which we now find ourselves is that our house has now dwindled in value to around £115,000 with us still owing £104,000. At present we are paying interest only - a measure we took last year in order to get a grip on our finances again. Fixed term ends in 2012.

The whole, grim picture is as follows:

Monthly Incomings:

My salary - £1,560
Partners salary - £460
Benefits - £120

Total - £2,140

Monthly Outgoings:

Mortgage (interest only) - £505
Council Tax - £110
Gas - £30
Electric - £30
TV License - £12
Phone/Broadband - £20
Food - £350
Car Insurance - £20
Buildings & Contents Insurance - £20
Petrol - £90
Life Insurance - £50
Money set aside for Christmas/Birthdays - £60

Total: £1,297

And here's the horrible bit. The current monthly outgoings are £655 on loans, overdraft interest and credit card min. repayments. While I have now stopped gambling, I have found myself creeping more and more into overdraft every month with further loans not an option on the grounds of affordability (credit record is fine, as we have never actually missed a payment on anything)

The grim debt tally is as follows:

NORTHERN ROCK: £20,524.32 (Personal loan, clears 2014)
HALIFAX: £8,460.00 (Personal loan, clears 2014)
ALLIANCE & LEICESTER: £3,433.39 (Personal loan, clears 2012)
OVERDRAFT: £4,900.00
CREDIT CARD: £2,650.00

GRAND TOTAL: £39,967.71

While I have addressed the root of the problem, it feels like things are continuing to spiral.
We just about break even according to the figures above but when life throws things at you like a burst pipe or a broken down car it's close to impossible to scrape together any extra cash.

We can muddle by being as frugal as possible from month to month but these debts are towering over us for so long, and it seems so unrealistic not to expect any sudden extra expenses in the coming years.

The more I look into it, it seems that a Debt Management Plan might be the only option available. Can anyone offer any thoughts on this as a plan? I've worked out some figures with CCCS and it would certainly help, but I'm guessing it would result in us having a crippled credit record when our mortgage is up for renewal in 3 years?

I've rambled on for long enough. I'm feeling very down and very helpless. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you for reading.

Queen.Bess

Firstly, Welcome! You will find lots of useful advice and information within this Board, so someone with more experience than me will be along soon to offer practical advice.

Secondly, well done with facing up to the gambling and doing what you can to stop. No problem is insurmountable, so don't feel helpless - you will be helped very soon!

Take care, QBx

elantan

just wanted to join in with queen bess in welcoming you ...i think there is a gamblers thread here somewhere i remeber seeing something about it ...you might find it a help you might not but i thought it would be nice to be informed ...all the best on your journey

tassletine

Thanks folks, appreciate the welcomes. Hopefully I'll be able to continue to contribute with more positive posts in months & years to come.

TismE_3

:T Hi and welcome.

Well done for facing up to things i know its hard,
I too am i debt through gambling and the guilt is terrible, get all the help you can to help you stay stopped! Are you a member of the GA?
There is some great help for gamblers online, PM me if you would like more details.
Someone will be along soon with more advice on what best to do re: debts.
Best advice i can offer is ....dont gamble any more, you know aswel as i do that even if you did win you'd just gamble it back.
I will be subscribing to you thread so keep posting:D
Best wishes Tisme x