So scared and don't know what to do

sillylittlejill

Hi :wave:

I have been on here for a few months and have had a couple of lightbulb moments. Two pretend ones and one really bad one which involved a complete breakdown (ran out of tissues then!!)

We have know moved back into my parents in an effort to save money and pay off debts sooner.

Basically the two problem debts are:

NatWest- I had an old account with them and after their horrible customer service one day I moved to Barclays. I left the account open with £84 in to pay the last month's subscription to the gym.

A few months later, I had completely forgotten about this account with moving out and everything and realised when I looked at a statement that I was over £400 in debt. I had a £100 overdraft with them but the rest was an unagreed overdraft. I was an idiot for not keeping an eye on it, I know. I now owe them around £600 after interest and everything. I have told them that I am unemployed and can only afford to pay £25 a month towards this debt. My OH has decided to save up and pay it off in one go once he has enough money, which should be in around a month or so, depending on if he gets his bonus.

Barclays- This is a credit card that was offered by a very pushy sales lady when I changed my current account to them. I have regretted that a lot since then! I took the credit card (limit of £1400) because we were moving out and we needed furniture. Hadn't heard of freecycle then!!

Since becoming unemployed I haven't paid since November and the amount owed is now around £1600. They have ignored AND not accepted my offer of £25 a month until I get a new job.

My parents are not aware that I owe this apart from telling them about my evil gym (who ignored my 4 or 5 letters) taking money out-they don't know numbers and have no idea I have a credit card.

NatWest just rang to speak to me. I was in the middle of a MASSIVE argument with OH and just slammed the phone down without saying anything.

It was hardly the most mature thing to do but at the time I was very upset-near hysterical and couldn't face them.

I am planning to go to Citizens Advice Bureau in the morning by myself. I was going to go a couple of weeks ago but chickened out.

I am really scared that my parents will be affected. They are living off their credit card at the moment as my father is unemployed and I don't want to know how much debt they are in. My mum yelled at me "If you've ruined our credit then you've got hell to pay!" when NatWest rang up.

Will it affect their credit report? The NatWest is on their address but the barclaycard isn't at the moment, need to change the address as back at parents now.

Basically I just need general advice. Am I doing the right thing by going to Citizens Advice?

any help would be appreciated

xxxx

Merlinexcalibur

I am planning to go to Citizens Advice Bureau in the morning by myself.

Merely going to be honest here, but you will find CCCS of a lot more benefit to you than CAB. CAB is very good ... maybe if you want to dispute a garden fence but they are not experts in financial things. And it's a lottery as to whether you get someone there who knows what they are talking about. You will have heard of CCCS. They are the ones who will know where, what to do next.

I am not in anyway trying to put you off CAB but CCCS are the experts as they deal with this every day, what they are there for. And you don't have to wait until your CAB opens or even get an appointment. End of the phone, free.

They have ignored AND not accepted my offer of £25 a month until I get a new job.

I am afraid they are not going to nor ever will accept. No creditor will. They only want what THEY think is realistic not what you can actually afford. Hence where CCCS comes in again. Your situation is this: you are out of work, no income. You aren't going to be able to maintain £25 realistically without struggling elsewhere.

I would offer token payments. Again, not trying to put you off CAB but ... you don't go to dentist when you have your leg broken do you? You go to people who know. CAB is always the first port of call. But they are generalists not specialist. For finances you need specific, focused knowledge. I have lost count of cases where I've read of CAB giving duff advice to people yet they are meant to know not you. Just a suggestion.

Merlinexcalibur

I am really scared that my parents will be affected. They are living off their credit card at the moment as my father is unemployed and I don't want to know how much debt they are in. My mum yelled at me "If you've ruined our credit then you've got hell to pay!" when NatWest rang up.

Pardon me, and please don't have a go at me, but that's a bit rich isn't it of them? As they are living off credit themselves? I am afraid that is a very unrealistic way to be living. Just making their debt situation a lot worse. Never never. If one of your parents is already out of work then I am afraid nothing you will do will affect their rating. I am afraid it's probably affected already as they are married? So, living off a credit card is not going to last very long when things come home to roost. Which they will eventually when a random check reveals the unemployment and they will either stop the card or reduce the limit. Just pointing these things out. Not having a go BTW. Becaus it will eventually come to light the next time they try and apply for a loan or another credit card. That he is out of work. And I really wouldn't advise putting a form he is in work. It's fraud.

sillylittlejill

Well the situation with my parents is just, well bad. My dad is an electrician and was earning a decent amount for the area, around £25,000 whereas my mum is on £12,000 I think. They got a loan a couple of years back to buy my cousins car and then again once they paid that off for a new kitchen. They have the credit card for emergencies and are living on it at the moment. My mum honestly has her head in the sand and she frustrates me so much because at least I am trying to get out of my situation.

My dad doesn't care, he's so laid back. My mum runs the place and he doesn't know what is going on with money. To be honest, I am truly surprised they are still married the way my mum treats him. I wouldn't blame him for leaving.

thanks for helping.
Do I just ring CCCS then? I did their online thing but it didn't really work as I couldn't put details in and it all confused me!!

Thanks for posting a reply I honestly don't know what I would do without this site!

xxx

Jenna

Hi Jill,

Firstly - hi and welcome to the boards. It's great that you've been able to take steps to reduce your outgoings by moving back in with your parents.

I'd agree with the advice about talking with one of the free debt counselling charities first (though nothing wrong with talking to the CAB in addition to that if you feel more comfortable with that?).

Also my understanding is that your credit rating is based on the "financial associations" that you have NOT your address. It used to be based on your address (I think) but this got changed a few years ago. You can check this with the CAB / CCCS to make 100% sure (or indeed I am sure the wise people on these boards will be along presently to correct me!).

Are you unemployed at the moment? If so, are you claiming all the benefits that you are entitled to e.g. JSA whilst you are searching for a new job? It's a blow to your pride I know but since you were paying taxes whilst you had a job then you are also entitled to help because of being made redundant. Or, if you really can't face claiming it, what about signing up with a temp agency to do some temp contracts until you find a FT perm job?

Oh - last but not least - TALK to your parents! They must be feeling much the same stress as you with money and jobs (or lack of them) right now. You can all support each other in this and do nice family-type things e.g. all having a home made meal and watching some telly isn't expensive but it's just good to be with people you care about and relax.

HTH & keep posting xx

beanielou

I personally think you could get a lot of support from CAB.
Its got to be worth a try hasent it?
Keep paying Barclays the £25 pm meantime even though they havent formally accepted the offer.
Keep posting & take care.

Merlinexcalibur

Well the situation with my parents is just, well bad.

Jill, believe me when I say this when I fully appreciate where you are coming from. And have for too long I can remember. (((Jill)))

Apologies if I sounded overbearing before but I see a lot of people who are lost, don't know who to turn to with their debt worries, seen all this with families, the arguments and so on ... So I put things plainly, to direct you to the right people.

CAB. Yes, because the more people get on side the more relaxed you will feel. The one thing I find that is often missing from financial support is the mental support. Because both go together. They can't be separate. The worse something becomes the more obviously it will affect your emotions. Unless you are made out of rock.

Merlinexcalibur

Oh, if you aren't claiming benefits and are worried because how others might see you. Don't be. I imagine half of them are up to something they'd prefer their neighbours not to know. Behind a closed door. But they have plenty to say to people who do if you know what I mean?

Seriously, if you aren't please look into it. No one has to know and why should they know? I've always found this ironic but those who complain about those on benefits - those who shout the loudest - are usually the ones who, strangely, dash straight to the JC soon as they lose their jobs. Cos no one can exist on thin air can they? And that is what benefits are there for. I could add that it would really amaze some out there the number of highly paid professional people, with very good jobs that are not going to lose them, have their fingers in every benefit you could name from DLA to IB and more fraudulently. So, you've no need to be 'prideless' because those others I speak of couldn't give two hoots about it affecting other peoples entitlement. It's because of those sorts people on benefits DO get tarred. That is not starting anything but ... sometimes people need to widen, open their eyes more to who rips off the system. Anyway, wish you good luck.

sillylittlejill

I will keep paying them the £25 but I have heard that you shouldn't be sending cheques because they can use the signature. Would they really do that??
I was going to send them both one in the morning...

thanks, I normally just post in my diary but no-one tends to read it so posted here because I had a freakout before!

I am going to ring CCCS first and then if I need some more help go to CAB.

Thanks guys, really needed some kind words. Going to sleep now finally!

xxx

Tixy

Hi

To give you peace of mind regarding your parents credit records. I think If you request your credit reports from experian, equifax and callcredit it will show any financial associations you have. I checked recently to check my Mom and I were not still financially associated (as years ago she helped me get a mortgage). If neither of you parents appear on your report then you won't be on theirs. Its an easy way to check and they needn't know you are looking into it.
Also if they do show on your report I think you can ask to be 'dis-associated' from them on the basis that although you are related you are an independant adult. (Not certain about this but this is how I understood it, someone with more knowledge should be able to confirm if this is correct).
Definately keep paying token payments to your creditors rather than nothing at all, even if they say they won't accept such a low amount.

Good luck, you will get through this.

sillylittlejill

Hi They aren't on my credit report but my mum is ten times as stubborn as me so ignored me when I said that we weren't associated on them. I will send them cheques today by 1st class post.

Thanks again to everyone
xxx