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Feeling the Credit Crunch?
Lifeisbutadream
Posts: 13,102 Forumite
Feeling the bite of the credit crunch?
Here are some tips to save money:
DON'T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.
DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.
HOMEOWNERS: Prevent burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again.
SAVE money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply changing your name to match your existing plate. - i.e. Mr. KVL 741Y
DON'T waste money buying expensive binoculars; simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.
AN empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.
MANCHESTER UNITED FANS can save money on expensive new kits by simply strapping a large fake pen1s to your forehead. It is now clear to all, as to
your allegiance.
SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.
HOUSEWIVES: the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in
your coat pocket.
OLD telephone di rectories make ideal personal address books, simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.
SAVE on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.
SAVE a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam, they will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty pence.
OLD people, if you feel cold indoors this winter, simply pop outside for ten minutes without a coat, when you go back inside you will really feel the
CAN'T afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of cling film and press them into your eyes.
WHY pay the earth for expensive jigsaws? Just take a bag of frozen chips from the freezer and try piecing together potatoes.
MAKE your own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry on a window sill. Use striped toothpaste to make humbugs.
Here are some tips to save money:
DON'T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.
DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.
HOMEOWNERS: Prevent burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again.
SAVE money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply changing your name to match your existing plate. - i.e. Mr. KVL 741Y
DON'T waste money buying expensive binoculars; simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.
AN empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.
MANCHESTER UNITED FANS can save money on expensive new kits by simply strapping a large fake pen1s to your forehead. It is now clear to all, as to
your allegiance.
SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.
HOUSEWIVES: the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in
your coat pocket.
OLD telephone di rectories make ideal personal address books, simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.
SAVE on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.
SAVE a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam, they will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty pence.
OLD people, if you feel cold indoors this winter, simply pop outside for ten minutes without a coat, when you go back inside you will really feel the
CAN'T afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of cling film and press them into your eyes.
WHY pay the earth for expensive jigsaws? Just take a bag of frozen chips from the freezer and try piecing together potatoes.
MAKE your own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry on a window sill. Use striped toothpaste to make humbugs.
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Comments
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Oh dear god I hope the cigar tubes fasten securely!0
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Another Credit crunch tip: Dont buy viz, just read the tips posted 2nd hand here
:beer: Well aint funny how its the little things in life that mean the most? Not where you live, the car you drive or the price tag on your clothes.
Theres no dollar sign on piece of mind
This Ive come to know...
So if you agree have a drink with me, raise your glasses for a toast :beer:0 -
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First time I've seen it - mostly funny...0
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SAVE on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.
One Friday afternoon, after a particularly hard week at school, a few of us raided the Head's office and 'borrowed' his hospitality sherry. (Even in those days, state schools couldn't run to whisky.)
I'm sure that we fully expected to replace the contents of the bottle, but having emptied it, some of us felt guilty and merry enough to temporarily replace the contents with the drainings from the staff teapot. The weekend intervened and we quickly forgot our misdemeanour.....until the visit of the local school adviser, that is!0 -
I always liked: "instead of buying a carpet, just buy a couple of squares of carpet material and attach them to your feet".0
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Ah.. the Viz thread. How about "stop eggs from rolling off the worktop by placing them in a receptacle like a bowl or similar".0
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Girls. Too old to go on an 18 to 30 holiday? Simply get p*ssed, lie in a sand pit in your garden and sh*g every bloke who looks at you over the fence.0
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mr.broderick wrote: »Heavens, Is that what happens? My wife is going on a hen party to ibiza next week, it is a 18-30.
My pals and I will take good care of her!
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