Son's girlfriend

arlybarly

I have to disagree with the op as i have two teens aged 14 and 16 and i have all the friends in because i know where they are, not dossing on street corners. If my son asks for his girlfriend to wait for him in our house when he isnt there then that is no problem to me at all. Its my kids house as much as mine and dh and i want anyone visiting here to feel comfortable and at home.

Maybe this goes back to my childhood though, i was always to ashamed to bring anyone back home incase they took the mick out of me because my parents house in a complete and utter tip, my bedroom was the only tidy and clean place in the whole house and even then i had 2 extra wardrobes in my bedroom filled with old clothes from my moms youth that she wouldnt get rid of which drove me potty.

I swore then that when i had kids that they would have a home that was clean and tidyish so they wouold never feel the way i did. Im going right off the thread now so id better shut up LMAO X

Smashing

Why does she want to be there for hours waiting for him?
Does she not have slightly better things to be doing?

lolababy

You dont feel comfortable with this arrangement so say no. Its your home too and why have a situation that your not happy with.
Does your son drive if so why can he not pick her up after work. If he cant drive it will encourage him to learn.
He is of an age that if he wants to do his own thing then he can move out. Sounds harsh but you are the one paying the bills.

buxtonrabbitgreen

Funny you bringing this up as my 16 yo ds was doing something today and asked if his girl could stay in hi room till he got home, would probably be and hour or so.
She came round. First she cleaned his room and then his sisters. Brought down all the washing up. Then went off with the flash and a cloth. She can come round anytime..
Though, I know what you mean about it becoming regular. If you are not happy about it say no.
I am a very different generation from my ds girlfriend, she is 15 and I am 55. We seem to get on ok though.

Smashing

buxtonrabbitgreen wrote: »

Funny you bringing this up as my 16 yo ds was doing something today and asked if his girl could stay in hi room till he got home, would probably be and hour or so.
She came round. First she cleaned his room and then his sisters. Brought down all the washing up. Then went off with the flash and a cloth. She can come round anytime..

If my brothers girlfriend had gone into my bedroom and started cleaning and tidying I would have been furious! :eek:

Poppy9

buxtonrabbitgreen wrote: »

Funny you bringing this up as my 16 yo ds was doing something today and asked if his girl could stay in hi room till he got home, would probably be and hour or so.
She came round. First she cleaned his room and then his sisters. Brought down all the washing up. Then went off with the flash and a cloth. She can come round anytime..
Though, I know what you mean about it becoming regular. If you are not happy about it say no.
I am a very different generation from my ds girlfriend, she is 15 and I am 55. We seem to get on ok though.

That's a bit rude isn't it. It's like saying your house is dirty.

buxtonrabbitgreen

Smashing wrote: »

If my brothers girlfriend had gone into my bedroom and started cleaning and tidying I would have been furious! :eek:

No she has done it before and my dd loves it. She is thinking of dating her herself just to get her room tidied. She is such a slob.

buxtonrabbitgreen

No she is not rude. Just a bit OCD with the cleaning. And she only does thier bedrooms. Mind you She can do the rest of the house too if she wants. I am not going to turn down an unpaid cleaner.

belfastgirl23

I think too it depends on how serious they are. If she looks like a longer term this could be the one type girlfriend then I'd get into a conversation about how long and how often and try to put a few limits on it. If she's a casual girlfriend then I wouldn't really see the point in putting yourself out for her

But bear in mind no matter how nicely stated a refusal often offends....

suki1964

lynnexxxo wrote: »

I have to say I disagree with sarymclary. The son is 21 and working so I'm assuming he pays board. If so then surely its his decision, if hes happy with his girlfriend hanging around in his room them why not? She'll probably be surfing the net or listening to her ipod or whatever so I'm sure she'll be no hassle. Remember that while at the moment she might only be your sons girlfriend in five years she might be his wife and the mother of your grandkids and she will remember how well you treated her.

Also, given she would rather sit in her boyfriends room with his parents than her own house, things might be bad at home.

Its not his room though is it? Its his parents house come the end of the day no matter if hes paying towards his keep or not.

If the parents are not happy with a stranger hanging about their house then thats their choice. If son dont like it then son is free to move out

As kids/teens/ young adults we were always told "when under our roof our rules", didnt do us any harm and taught us to respect others feelings and property. When the rules became too stifling for us we moved - called growing up and spreading our wings