Your most valuable action so far?

youngandreckless

Hi All,

While I have been a regular on the boards for some time it is only in the last few months that I've been able to start making a decent headway on my debts (signiture will be updated soon, I'm waiting on a couple of recent cancellations & changes to be confirmed first).
My turning point has been to understand why I overspend - ie I was always buying new clothes, gadgets etc to make me feel better about myself. Now that I can admit it I've found myself spending considerably less on frivilous non essential items and "treats".
So I guess I'm curious to know what has been most valuable to you in order to start being debt free (apart from the obvious spend less!). Doesn't have to be personal, but I'm always eager to learn from people on this site, especially those that have made such impressive progress on debts.

Thanks in advance

Y&R x

highguyuk

The Grabbit now items. Because I would have bought things for myself anyway, and now they are cheaper!

(Ok, not exactly in the spirit you intended but still true...)

skintchick

Not taking my cards on a night out drinking, so I don't drunkenly buy rounds I can't afford. I take the cash I have buidgeted for, tell my mates that's all I have, then stop spending when it's gone. Saved a fortune!

Also, I don;t buy wine to have at home any more, and I go shopping once a week only and if I run out of something that's tough. Except milk, but even bread I just do without so I don;t end up spending lots on bits.

kathfisch

For me it has been an emotional realisation. I had always been a keen saver and careful spender when I lived at home but moving to university (far away from home) was difficult, although I didn't admit it. I got into a difficult relationship but was too naive to see that this was a problem, and too insecure to get out of it. Spending was a way to keep busy, to avoid thinking about things, and to make myself feel better.

But its a vicious circle because when I spent money that I knew I shouldn't I felt good for a while and then awful, so more spending required!! I can't exactly remember but I think one day I realised how much junk I was accumulating and how insecure and unhappy I still was. I had the problem that my partner didn't have this realisation when I did and it became a point of argument for some time. I quickly went back to my money saving ways but (although we didn't have joint finances) her overspending often encouraged me to just spend that little extra (lots of nice food, going out etc). I don't blame her because I am responsible for myself but it made it more difficult.

I gradually became more determined not just to cut back on overspending but actually to put away some savings. I am now in my 3rd year of uni with £1500 in savings and no debt apart from student loan, doesn't sound a lot but it is an acheivement for me. My resolve to change my attitute to money spread to other areas and from somewhere I got the confidence to face up to the problems in my relationship and end it. I think feeling in control of my money, silly as it sounds, made me feel confident in other areas of life and ending the relationship was like taking back total control (had been a very dependent realtionship).

I've been debt free (apart from student loan of course) and saving since last August and ended the relationship in October. I feel much happier than I ever have and wouldn't change anything! I now have the money necessary to support me whilst I try to find my way into my chosen career when I graduate in the summer and I feel much more confident in all areas of life.

I think it often comes down to emotional issues that are masked by spending, although there are obviously people who get into debt through other circumstances (family break-up, illness etc).

I would love to hear other people's stories and hope I haven't bored you with mine

Kath

ILoveHenryJames

I just wanted to say thanks Kathfisch for that post.

I do not particularly want to tell my whole story right now, but reading yours triggers a few memories. The good thing is that these memories no longer grind me down, they make me stronger.

All the best