Ok, I'm a little scared of taking the BR plunge...

Idontknowwhattodo

Hi - I'm new to this site but not new to investigating declaring myself BR. I have been investigating it for several months, all the time becoming more stressed and upset and I guess scared.

I have always had credit since I was able to (17+ years ago) and have always paid all debts regularly and on time with no credit issues.

Things changed just over a year ago when I started earning much less than I had done previously, all bonuses dried up (that had previously periodically cleared debts) and my first child was born (meaning my partners income was lost).

I now find myself with credit card debt I simply can't shift, negative equity in my house at a large scale and a car with finance that is almost worthless. I know I can't keep on putting off the inevitable and know I must take the plunge.

The reason why I have posted this comment is because I'd like to know what to expect, how to deal with the stigma of family finding out that I am a BR, the problems of having my BR details published in the local paper and so on. Maybe I could just do with a bit of support from the many experts on here...?

I look forward to hearing from you.

nervousmother

Have you spoke to a proffesional about your debts? You really need to take expert advice before going any further.

The people on this board have first hand experience of their BR but everyones is different. Each official receiver is also different in how they handle you.

by reading the above regarding the high debt and negative equity it does sound like your a candidate for BR

It is not 100% that family would find out about your BR, I mean do they read the small adds?
Im not going to tell you its all easy because if your anything like me the feelings of guilt & hopelessness are still there. But you can start to look forward to a new life that is debt free. BR is not illegal, it is there for a reason, the reason is to help people who are in true and desperate need.

I must admit the hardest part is making that first decision the one 'to do it' after that it should be easy enough.
You will have to have an interview after the court date, with the Official receiver, this may be face to face of a over the phone interview. He will want to know everything about your debt, when and why it was taken out, he will want to know about all assets. As long as you have not taken out any debt *knowing* you couldnt pay it back you should be ok.

Oh.. welcome to the board, their all a friendly bunch :-)

slummymummyof3

Are you sure bankrupcy is the only way to go in your situation? Think about posting a soa so we can help you by seeing if there is anything you can realistically do to help sort out your debts.

I'm sorry but I am unable to give you any advice about bankrupcy myself, but I'm sure someone more knowledgeable will be along soon to help.

Simpsona

Hiya, Not an 'expert' by any means infact quite new too! But like to say welcome and your in the right place!

I like you have always paid debts on time, also we have a car on hp which is knackered! 3 children, house in Negative equity too! We have just had a meeting with an insolvency practitioner today (both self employed so needed some advice) and he confirmed just go BR and get on with the rest of your life! Hubby has been a bit worried as to the inns and outs so was nice to hear from someone in 'the know' that we were doin the right thing! Tough one with the publicity side of it? I'm personally past caring you see, we have worked really hard all our married life and feel we have nothing to be ashamed of! I just want to spend time with my family without being stressed by all this debt, it's to easy to aquire and a nightmare to get out of! Never again for me, fresh start coming soon! Still a very worrying time tho and I have no fingernails left!! Best of luck and ask away, there are loads of well informed people on here!

Lensman_2

My thoughts are fairly short.

Bankruptcy is the final sanction. It is life defining and life changing. (Look back at the previous posts from people who have been through it for evidence). You will, most certainly, never be the same again.

I had thought that it was for me. Until I found this forum. And did some (quite a lot actually) reading.

I looked it in the face (so to speak) and I thought on it. And thought some more.

Finally, my thought was this. I am prepared to do it. But I am going to fight against it to the bitter end. I am not going down without a fight - despite terrible odds against me. Because bankruptcy is defeat in the face of adversity. And admitting that will change my life forever.

For most people here, it is down to life and survival - the choice is clear and already made and quite rightly so. I am lucky in that honour is still possibly affordable and maybe attainable. So I will fight on for it.

Jim

empty_wallet_2

Try out the Debt Remedy online service on CCCS, you fillout loads of details and then from what you have entered it will come up with your possible options, in my case the only option was BR but my OH had IVA, DMP or BR as options. She decided on IVA and wasted 3 months following this route before finding out it wasn't really and option as in the own words of the IP "creditors are too greedy at the moment", my OH was offering over 50% payback rate but the IP said they would want more and would want any surplus i had too. The IP also sat us down and asked what we wanted to do in the next 5 years and then showed us the differences i lives would take me going BR and OH taking IVA and the better life came from going BR in our situation as your credit rating is screwed for 6 years on either but going BR you get better living allowances, get to keep upto £99 surplus and in the worst case would only be paying anything for 3 years,where as the IVA was 5 years, no surplus money and very tight budget.

If you go to CAB for advice, call and make an appointment first with a financial specialist otherwise you will have a wasted trip if you just drop in.

empty_wallet_2

As for the listing in the small adds, i think tht will be dropped from April. From the week i went BR i brought the local paper every week for 6 months with no listing and the ones that were were from a few years ago, i stopped worrying about it and stopped buying the paper, then by off chance i picked up a copy just before xmas and just glanced at the page they are on and there i was, biggest boldest entry i've seen and i was paranoid people at work may say something or the neighbours or family but absolutely nothing was said.

Simpsona

Hi Jim,
I agree with you that this is a huge decision and not to be taken lightly, however, after speaking to a professional today and trying hang on to whatever we could, were advised to just 'let it go' and get on with the rest of our life. We were even trying to hang on to our shop sign incase we could 'rise again' so to speak, we were told no, just let it go. The stress this whole thing has put on us is immense, I'm more gutted about the strain that this has put on, not only our relationship but also our childrens lives, than I am about loosing our 'honour' hun. I commend you on your fighting till the end strategy but honestly dont do that if its gonna crush you mentally, its just not worth the heartache. x We have been doing that for the last 6 months and I'm glad we have finally took control. Not for everybody I agree, a lot of research needs to be done first. Best of luck Jim, but honestly if it's unfightable let it go, if you have a real chance of beating it then ok. x

Soz Idunnowhattodo for goin of on a tangent there! x

Lensman_2

Simpsona wrote: »

Hi Jim,
I agree with you that this is a huge decision and not to be taken lightly, however, after speaking to a professional today and trying hang on to whatever we could, were advised to just 'let it go' and get on with the rest of our life. We were even trying to hang on to our shop sign incase we could 'rise again' so to speak, we were told no, just let it go. The stress this whole thing has put on us is immense, I'm more gutted about the strain that this has put on, not only our relationship but also our childrens lives, than I am about loosing our 'honour' hun. I commend you on your fighting till the end strategy but honestly dont do that if its gonna crush you mentally, its just not worth the heartache. x We have been doing that for the last 6 months and I'm glad we have finally took control. Not for everybody I agree, a lot of research needs to be done first. Best of luck Jim, but honestly if it's unfightable let it go, if you have a real chance of beating it then ok. x

Soz Idunnowhattodo for goin of on a tangent there! x

Thanks for this post Simpsona. I have been thinking on it today. I am frightened of it too and perhaps I have done a (good) job of rationalising that fear.

I still stick by part of what I was feeling at the time I wrote the earlier post. Echoed by many that have been through it, that thought is that BR is not an easy way out.

So, thanks for going off at a tangent...

Jim x

jenni75

Hello Idontknowwhattodo,

Well I am six weeks till auto discharge, (OH already had early discharge) and reading through the posts like yours I wish I could gather up all the pain stress and upset you are feeling and stick it in a box.
It is no good me telling anyone not to worry as this is each individuals life, but I really wish I could find the words to express just how much I regret getting myself so ill with it all. My hair fell out, I was in such a bad way. But once I was out of the court and met with our OR (immediately after hearing) I worked through the process as methodically as I could. One day at a time and it really was not as bad as I had prepared myself for. Of course we lost our business and had to go through the tribulations of finding work and rebuilding a nigh on shattered marriage but we are getting there now. We had great support from family which came entirely unexpectedly and found out our true friends. There was no hiding it as we had lost our business it was clear for everyone who knew us could gather what had happened. It's my life and I am trying to make it as good as I can in difficult circumstances, one thing is for sure it is certainly better than it was.

I have one regret that is that I did not find this site early as I wish that I had been able to take comfort from knowing there are others, ok I don't know their faces but I know they care. I am sure that as you walk the br route if it is your last resort then you will find lots of hands to hold on here. You may have to imagine a little but they are there.
All the best
Jenni

So_Sad_Angel

Idontknowwhattodo wrote: »

Hi - I'm new to this site but not new to investigating declaring myself BR. I have been investigating it for several months, all the time becoming more stressed and upset and I guess scared.

I have always had credit since I was able to (17+ years ago) and have always paid all debts regularly and on time with no credit issues.

Things changed just over a year ago when I started earning much less than I had done previously, all bonuses dried up (that had previously periodically cleared debts) and my first child was born (meaning my partners income was lost).

I now find myself with credit card debt I simply can't shift, negative equity in my house at a large scale and a car with finance that is almost worthless. I know I can't keep on putting off the inevitable and know I must take the plunge.

The reason why I have posted this comment is because I'd like to know what to expect, how to deal with the stigma of family finding out that I am a BR, the problems of having my BR details published in the local paper and so on. Maybe I could just do with a bit of support from the many experts on here...?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Hi & welcome.

First thing is to speak to one of the debt charities....see top tool bar. Get independant advice & see what outcome is recommended.

We don`t know your income & outgoings on here ...only you know...buy neg eq does not always mean ypu need BR to resolve.

Let us know what they say.

Angel