Just found out

dean71_2

To make a long story short....
Years ago I lived in the North of England then moved to London. There was a girl in the North that I would sometimes get together with during weekend visits home. Anyway, we lost contact, then on my last day in England before moving to America, I saw her, and she had a child. The child, I thought looked a little like me, and the math added up to around the time we were together. However she strongly denied that the child was mine, and she was by then in a steady relationship.
She moved (and I moved to America and am now and American Citizen) and we lost contact, but over the years I have often thought about the situation.
My thought is, if the child is mine, I want to be part of her life.
Anyway, fast forward 12 years, I have made contact with this girl (the woman) and now she says that her daughter could be mine....
I want to do DNA testing to find out for sure. If the daughter is mine, I want to do what I can.
But, my present wife is concerned that this girl may just want to bilk me for money.
My theory is, if shes mine, I will financially contribute from this day forward. My wife thinks I will be slammed for 13 years back child support.
Any advice?
Dean

Soubrette

dean71 wrote: »

To make a long story short....
Years ago I lived in the North of England then moved to London. There was a girl in the North that I would sometimes get together with during weekend visits home. Anyway, we lost contact, then on my last day in England before moving to America, I saw her, and she had a child. The child, I thought looked a little like me, and the math added up to around the time we were together. However she strongly denied that the child was mine, and she was by then in a steady relationship.
She moved (and I moved to America and am now and American Citizen) and we lost contact, but over the years I have often thought about the situation.
My thought is, if the child is mine, I want to be part of her life.
Anyway, fast forward 12 years, I have made contact with this girl (the woman) and now she says that her daughter could be mine....
I want to do DNA testing to find out for sure. If the daughter is mine, I want to do what I can.
But, my present wife is concerned that this girl may just want to bilk me for money.
My theory is, if shes mine, I will financially contribute from this day forward. My wife thinks I will be slammed for 13 years back child support.
Any advice?
Dean

If she is on benefits then you might have backpay issues, I don't know. It is hard for the CSA to collect from abroad though, you could always phone them and ask the general question.

If she's never been on benefits then I can't see it would be a problem - she denied your paternity afterall.

Your current wife seems to be surprisingly concerned about the motives of your original girlfriend though, considering that it seems to be you that does all the work contactwise - could she be feeling insecure about the situation?

It's not just about having a possible daughter in your life - perhaps it's worth discussing further what the situation means to your wife too?

Sou

dean71_2

Thanks for your reply. My wife and i are Private Investigators, and she was fully with me when i looked this girl up. We have three kids of our own, 2 of which are my wifes from a previous marriage.
Her previous husband fathered another two children outside of the marriage, and he ended up with 60k in back child support. So my wife is a little wary of the situation.
Apart from that, she has encouraged me to locate this girl.
I believe that this girl is unemployed and is probably claiming benefits.

fuzzybear01

My Dad lived in America when I was growing up and was not liable to pay any child support for me and my brother. Best thing to do would be to offer to pay a certain amount, but not go through the CSA route