Pick your brains....

dimbo61

Hopefully when kids get older they will stand up to the PWC and demand to see the NRP
But dont underestimated the emotional blackmail from the PWC
One day you will have a knock at the door , until then keep strong
Pay the CSA knowing that your OH is supporting his kids
GOOD LUCK

Soubrette

hamstercheeks wrote: »

thank you for your honesty:(

I'm just conscious of how depressed OH gets.

He saw them at the Christmas play at school, boy were they overjoyed to see him, they wouldn't stop hugging him and they said that they keep asking mummy if they can come and see daddy and she just ignores them

Parents like this make me fume, I actually believe that no parent with care should be allowed to dictate whether or not children see the non resident parent - we're too biased.

If we feel it is in some way detrimental for children to see the other parent then we should have to argue our case with an independent body (such as the courts) and to be honest - if they break any such agreement without going through proper channels then I would question their fitness as a parent and look to awarding care to the other parent.

I know that there are many cases where unrestricted access should not be awarded but I do feel there are far more where PWC cannot see beyond their own needs and wants.

Good luck hamstercheeks - all I can suggest is that you keep trying to make the boys feel part of your family too.

I know it sounds cheesy but perhaps your OH could keep a journal of how he is thinking of them now to give to them when they are older. I believe the school has a duty of care to him as the father so you could make sure that he gets copies of any letters/emails etc about the boys. Also you could put a small amount of money by for them monthly to give as a present for later to show that they were always part of the family financially and emotionally, if you like the pocket money you would have given them when you see them.

Later on when the boys are older, could he have a face book account for them to contact him? Provide them with mobile phones to keep in contact with him? Or use MSN?

Good luck

Sou

hamstercheeks_2

Soubrette wrote: »

Parents like this make me fume, I actually believe that no parent with care should be allowed to dictate whether or not children see the non resident parent - we're too biased.

If we feel it is in some way detrimental for children to see the other parent then we should have to argue our case with an independent body (such as the courts) and to be honest - if they break any such agreement without going through proper channels then I would question their fitness as a parent and look to awarding care to the other parent.

I know that there are many cases where unrestricted access should not be awarded but I do feel there are far more where PWC cannot see beyond their own needs and wants.

Good luck hamstercheeks - all I can suggest is that you keep trying to make the boys feel part of your family too.

I know it sounds cheesy but perhaps your OH could keep a journal of how he is thinking of them now to give to them when they are older. I believe the school has a duty of care to him as the father so you could make sure that he gets copies of any letters/emails etc about the boys. Also you could put a small amount of money by for them monthly to give as a present for later to show that they were always part of the family financially and emotionally, if you like the pocket money you would have given them when you see them.

Later on when the boys are older, could he have a face book account for them to contact him? Provide them with mobile phones to keep in contact with him? Or use MSN?

Good luck

Sou

thanks sou it's a wee boy and a wee girl (7 and 8). We still have their christmas presents lying and his birthday present from last year. he already suggested shared care - when they were splitting up, she said no and that she would tell the police lies that he hit her and the children - obviously this is the route she is taking.

and we have questioned her fitness as a mother (she self-harms in front of them) but alas social services said they had visited and were quite happy with arrangements and that there was 'nothing to be concerned about'

yeah he opened up an email address for the little girl but they don't have internet access now

Cozworth806

dimbo61 wrote: »

sorry to hear this HC !
Been there done that and contact is at the whim of the PWC in england and scotland and yes the CSA will increase the maintence assesment if contact is stopped ( Good old CSA )
Court order is not worth the paper its written on
My heart goes out to you both and not worth paying solictors to fight the EX

HAve to agree, the CSA can only look at the actual contact that takes place for overnight care rather than what a court has ordered, no matter who has caused it to break down.
Sorry, it sucks, but its the way the CSA law works, no point appealing against it even, as the fact contact is not happening is not disputed