omg

loulou73

hi all just need a bit of advice decided to go br and do voluntary repo on house,feel better now decided but cant bear the thought of others knowing when they put notice in window of old house for all to see,worried about telling parents as they think i settled worried what to say to kids just worried,please help.

copier_guy

Hey Lou,

Have you found somewere else to live already?

We are doing the same exactly the same and moved into our new rental last week, dont worry about your neighbours just gives them something to talk about for a few days!!

Our parents were really cool about it, their first worry is making sure you and your kids are ok.

post back if you need any more info

startagain_2

loulou73 wrote: »

hi all just need a bit of advice decided to go br and do voluntary repo on house,feel better now decided but cant bear the thought of others knowing when they put notice in window of old house for all to see,worried about telling parents as they think i settled worried what to say to kids just worried,please help.

loulou,

Hi there - you are suffering from the "what if,what if" disease that we all seem to get. The problem is that the mind plays funny games on us and makes things out to be about 100 times worse than they are really going to be in real life, most of the time.
You must do what is right for you..... you will probably find your parents a lot more sympathetic and understanding than you imagine.. I haven't actually told my family, not because I am scared of the reaction, but just because it doesn't really concern them and I don't need to tell them. But that is me, we are all different.
As for your kids, they probably suspect something is wrong anyway - you will find a way to explain things to them and believe me when I say that after BR you will feel that a whole weight has been lifted off you and you will become a much nicer Mum and person in general.
Don't worry loulou - we are all here to help and support you ......;)

SA

copier_guy

Hey SA,

You much better with words than me!!

I was thinking it but could'nt put it down

startagain_2

copier_guy wrote: »

Hey SA,

You much better with words than me!!

I was thinking it but could'nt put it down

Thanks copier_guy - I am one of the worlds biggest worriers and I can so identify with loulou, so it comes from the heart really.
One thing I have learnt through all this - before,during and after, is that it has to be about yourself and what is right for YOU. I have spent most of my years trying to please others and worried about peoples reactions and look where it got me - firmly living in S**t Street. So, I have moved out and now live in Number One Avenue!!!
How is your brave new world going?

SA

Merry_Gentry

cant bear the thought of others knowing when they put notice in window of old house for all to see,
My neighbours know why I went br and are/were incredibly supportive. As for a notice appearing in the window - who cares? The house represents a chunk of my life that went wrong - a notice in the window means nothing compared to sorting my life out.

worried about telling parents as they think i settled
I panicked about what to tell my Mum and my sisters. They shocked me by being incredibly supportive and more concerned that me and my girls were alright than anything else.

worried what to say to kids
I ended up telling my two eldest (13 and 11) to explain why it was so difficult getting a second rental when things went (@y@) up in the first one with XHTB. They don't understand all of it, but they totally understand that money is something to respect, to not take for granted, and if they want something it has to be saved for and not just lobbed on a bit of plastic. They are better kids for it in my opinion, and I hope it means they never end up going through anything like this.

just worried
Take a deep breathe. Look at what has brought you to this position. And consider what life will be like afterwards - no longer afraid of the phone, scared to open post, able to budget with all of the money you receive and save for things. Your finances will be totally within your control. Bankruptcy, though not easy, is a chance for a fresh start. You're going through birthing pains, but it will be worth it.

Deep_In_Debt

Don't worry about what the neighbours say - it happened to one of my neighbours and people soon got bored with talking about them and found some much more interesting gossip after about a day! Then they forgot about it totally and talked about the new people moving in! Yes, I live in one of those "curtain twitching" neighbourhoods!

Who cares what the neighbours say? How do you know that they are not in financial trouble anyway and it may happen to them?

As for family, you will probably find they will be incredibly supportive and look out for you and your family.

Hope it all goes ok for you.

copier_guy

Hey SA,

Moved in to our rental ( 1 week now) just been to make sure our old house is ok.

Just think we have done the easy bit now and the hard is yet to come. You ok ?

loulou73

thanks everyone i know in my heart i am doing right thing not only for myself but my kids,im snappy and horrible at min and know they deserve better,i am looking for rental at min but for everyone i find there is 20 couples looking also i just want it all to be over so i can look forward,as you say fed up with phone ringing and post,oh also stressed but trying to remain calm and level headed although i do get wobbly moments.whats all your experiences.

startagain_2

copier_guy wrote: »

Hey SA,

Moved in to our rental ( 1 week now) just been to make sure our old house is ok.

Just think we have done the easy bit now and the hard is yet to come. You ok ?

Yep fine, up days and down days, but more up than down these days. Still another 8 days until the OR interview - 5 weeks after BR.... dragging on!
Other than that everything is good.
loulou take note - I have more time for myself, more money than I have had for years and am so much more relaxed. Best decision, I think, I have ever made was to go BR.
Thanks for asking.....

SA

De62

loulou73 wrote: »

hi all just need a bit of advice decided to go br and do voluntary repo on house,feel better now decided but cant bear the thought of others knowing when they put notice in window of old house for all to see,worried about telling parents as they think i settled worried what to say to kids just worried,please help.

I was same Loulou and worried sick before I made the decision to go BR. My situation is slightly different as one of my creditors is making me bankrupt on Tuesday. This will be the second time I've gone to court over it, the 1st was in December and at the time i was trying to set up an IVA but my mortgage lender wouldn’t consider it as part of my mortgage is made up of an unsecured loan, so Tuesday is D-Day for me and while I’m nervous and feel really sick about it I've also got a light at the end of my tunnel.

My teenager and I moved into rented 2 weeks ago, my teens nearly 15 and I’ve been straight with her from the beginning rather than tell fibs, its really after discussing it with her that made me finally see sense and realise that BR is my only option. For the time being the ex has moved back into the mortgaged house, as he will need to go bankrupt once they stop chasing me for joint debts.

I've been fighting a loosing battle with this debt for nearly 4 years in total and paid dearly with my health last year, so for me this site, new house and this step has been the most positive thing that I’ve done in the last 12 months.

I hope it all goes well Loulou xxxxx