Just can't get the nerve up

Rach2007_2

Well the title says it all really. Me and hubby just can't find the guts to go for BR.

We are currently paying Payplan £157 per month on a dmp. This gives us a debt free day sometime in October 2056! We are both in secure jobs, although income isn't there to pay payplan anymore than £157, indeed we find this a struggle every month and have sometimes resorted to using pay day loans.

Phoned national debtline who stressed how serious br is and we should only ever consider it as an absoulute last resort. They advised doing another budget with payplan, reducing it to a flat £100.

CCCS advised bankruptcy straightaway. They felt our budget was too tight and re-jigged it to give us a £2 surplus with an soa that was more suited to br. They feel it is silly to be faced with the prospect of paying our debts for the next 40-odd years.

We have had an estate agent value the house, it worth £10k less than the mortgage outstanding on it, so definitely in negative equity. Car is worth about £4500k but as it is essential for my work CCCS have advised OR may replace it with a cheaper alternative. Got cashminder sorted, cards arrived yesterday.

Just don't have courage to cancel payplan standing order and start saving for the br fees!!

What's really terrifying us is people finding out, DH parents, DH boss, (he's doing really well at work and we are worried that DH boss may look at him in a different light if he finds out about br). Once he goes onto a nil tax code it would only take someone in payroll to tell DH boss on the qt. Very paranoid.

I'm just looking for some general thoughts really....

Thanks

Rach
x

haleygrey

The easiest way to deal with people finding out is to tell them yourself. Obviously you decide who you want to know, but if you're worried about bosses, best thing to do is front up, its what ive done and ive had lots of support. I wouldnt worry about family, im sure in the long run they would want you both to be happy and not stressed. Weigh up the length of time it will take you to pay it off against the length of time you will be BR. Whatever you decide, Good luck

fiveyearplan

If you go BR in March (or even from now!) there won't be time to implement a nil tax code. Your OH's boss, family etc need not know about your BR if you don't want them to. Only a selected handful of people know about mine - apart from the few hundred people on here that is!!

You have nothing to be afraid of. Download the forms and have a look at them - even fill them in. You don't commit yourself until you take them to court. You really have nothing to lose except maybe the car. IS the car on HP or already owned.

You need to start living again - most people don't realise how debt affects them until that debt is gone - you will be amazed.

blu_1974

Hi rach me and my partner have decided to go for BR we both work but my partner will be leaving her job shortley to care for our 3 kids which she has always wanted to do plus she is facing redudacny.We are both in serious debt secured and unsecured and decided enough is enough and seeked advise which we have both decided to hand the keys over to our house and go BR.I to have a decent job and work for a very big company and funny enough told my manager today what my plans are and what to expect in the coming months he was very upset to hear what we are going through and offered his full support.As for my family there behind me all the way.Every body has a different out look on there options and what you want but do way up all your options and go for what you feel is right for you and your family and not whats best for your debtors..

MercMan

Can I give you some advice. In my case I'm being made BR by the HSBC Bank. Those I've chosen to tell (not that many!) all say "The !!!!!!!s! Poor you etc..." You may want to say you are being made bankrupt by (name large bank - every one hates the banks at the moment). At least they will think you are the victim of injustice especially as the Bank Fat Cats are getting huge bonuses in a recession.

dalip

You have a long winded PM:p

Rach2007_2

Hi all

Just to say thanks for your responses (dalip just replied to your PM!:T )

FYP we couldn't save up in time to go br in March but thanks for that advice anyway.
DH's parents know what happened to us over the past few years but they have never had a loan, credit card ever ever. I guess if by chance they happened to read the paper we would just have to fess up and deal with it! After all DH is almost 40!

As for his boss, well we have obviously already phoned his HR dept anonomusly to check br would not affect his job but still really paranoid about how his boss would treat him if he were to find out.

Our next payment to payplan is due Feb 18 so we have until then to decide whether to cancel the SO or not, so going to continue to mull it over before making a final decision to start saving up for fees!!

But just wanted to say a big thanks to all thoughts so far,....

Rach
x

dubiousone

Hi Rach. with reference to you not wanting people to find out, I imagine everyone on this board sympathises with you and probably felt the same way at some point, I know it has crossed my mind a number of times. The only thing that is keeping me from bottling out is the fact that it will be a very costly and miserable life being in debt for the sake of maybe a few SAD insecure people gossiping about you. The chances are no one will find out. I imagine under the current financial climate most people will not be surprised and may even bend your ear for information because their struggling themselves but aren't tough enough to accept it. You are facing up to your problems, that takes guts. I'm not proud to be going BR but I'm not ashamed either. I accept some responsibilty but I refuse to take the full wrap for my financial difficulties, the banks, mortgage companies etc have a lot to answer for to. Keep your chin up and vent your feelings on here, everyone is very supportive and will guide you through right upto discharge and beyond.:D

GettingHopeful

Entirely agree with everything that has been said. Do take the plunge especially as you have had legal advice to do so. The freedom from debt it great, and you have your family to think of.

I know you are mulling it over, but the sooner the better.

All the best GH xxx

tigerfeet2006

Hi and welcome to the board.

If someone in payroll says anything to anyone about your NT code then they should be disiplined as they are breaking the data protection act, which is an offense. There are other reasons to get a NT code, so it could be anything.

If anyone says anything to your husband then all he has to say is "Hmm! I know, isn't it great not giving tax to the taxman, ain't I the lucky one?" Thet he should smile serenly and turn and walk away.

If the debt charities have advised you that BR is an option then I would take their advice, as it is not given lightly.

While you are deciding read as much as you can on the boards, start on the Bankruptcy Help sticky, read threads and ask as many questions as you need. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.

All the best.

Dorothy56

Hi

Don't worry about people finding out. I have managed to go BR and the only people who know are my husband and my best friend, as well as people on here.

I did it on 30th January and can't remember sleeping so well in years.

If you contact your local court and get a date, at least then you know you have that date to work towards.

It took all my creditors almost a year before anyone even threatened a door step collection.

So chin up, the relief is immeasurable and well worth the letters and phone calls in the run up to court.

take care

Dorothy