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Nursing or PhD? career/life crisis!
5thdayofmay
Posts: 16 Forumite
Hi- first post here after being a longtime lurker, but now i need your help!
Where do I start? I have just graduated with an English degree and have good qualifications. The plan was to become an English teacher, after lots of school experience and after a year out, doing a pgce. It's all gone wrong. After me spending lots of time on the TES forum, and being around teachers and working in school, i've realised it's probably not for me, and become disenchanted with it. I may well still apply just to have a fallback, but my heart's not in it and I'm going to pursue my educational interest by doing an MRes and studying educational research and go onto a PhD....
Um, i think...
Except I'm not sure that it's right for me. Or what is at all right for me..:s
I'm in the (un)fortunate position of being 'the bright person' in a largely uneducated working-class family. My parents had ambitions for me, hell, I'VE got ambitions for me. On paper at least, I should have a great job by now. I don't.
And I've concluded that the fault lies with me. Although academically, I'm a reach for the stars kind of gal, I could never do any kind of corporate job and wouldn't last a day. Personally and I suppose politically it's the type of thing I'm against (I've always worked in social care, kids, charity, young offenders, schooly type places) I'm not money motivated, and I'm a happy go-lucky, likeable, lighthearted joker, who likes a laugh and loves people and talking nineteen to the dozen, and in the workplace, as in life, I put people first. Sometimes to a fault, complaining to managers that people are unhappy at work or that somebody made them cry or feel uncomfortable, or getting on my soap box about people's working conditions or people being bullied or taken advantage of in the workplace. I refuse to ever let somebody at work be "accountable" or accuse anybody or be horrible and point blank refuse to grass anybody up at work. As long as everybody's happy it's the main thing. This is why I lasted one day at law school....
Because I'm a people person (to use that dread term!) I've always wanted to work in the caring professions. Although I can appear outwardly tough (my choice might surprise some), I'm a right softie. Before I realised I was crap at science, I wanted to be a shrink. I've always liked to help and care for people and support them emotionally. My ex-boyfriend's medical histories have been as chequered as my work history! It's become a standing joke among friends, but it's all good. I think I'm quite sympathetic and I've always been the kind of person that people confide in. I know everybody's sexual issues and what medication they're on, what dosage and why their relationship is breaking down and how much debt they're in, etc etc, because I think people know I won't judge, I've seen a lot of it before, and I think as long as people are talking and opening up, then it's half of it.
I'm particularly good with men. Don't ask me why or how, but I know things about most men that their girlfriends or wives don't know! I've got brothers and was close to my dad who was very open emotionally, and gave me the gift of talking about feelings head on and directly without shame. Most of my close friends are male. They often say I've got a caring touch and lots of them thank me for talking to them and helping. I've seen a lot mental health wise (exes, friends family) and I had always wondered what it'd be like to be a mental health nurse.
I think I'd be a good nurse and I always joked that if it were the war, I'd sign up! My gran was a nurse too and I admired her. But until recently I'd never thought about it seriously. People say they could see me BEING a good nurse, but they say also "well can't you do a bit better than that, you'd get bored, why spend 4 years at uni to do that?" I'm in my late 20s and REALLY need to find a career to get settled in. Now nursing, and please don't judge me for this, I've always seen as a very kind of "averagey" career academically. My teachers pooh-poohed the idea at school, telling me "I could do better than that!", mocking a girl who was doing A-levels and wanted to nurse after, saying "She won't need those where she's going!" I was always pushed at school, because I fell into the gifted but lazy category...And if I'm honest, thats what's always turned me off about it, that and the shift work
Yet I didn't understand this because some of the sciency stuff you must need to know as a nurse looks quite hard going to me, as an artsy/languages person, and it's here I wonder if I'll fit in. My friend trained as a nurse and hated it too. Argh!
I know some people who are nurses who just seem to have fallen into it out of lack of anything else to do. I know others who have found their calling. And I promised myself, I'd aim really high, and never end up in another low paid job, or end up working my fingers to the bone like my dad on 12 hour shifts. I always wanted to really make something of myself. My mum keeps saying that if you have the ability you should push yourself. I think that too. I'm stuck in this no-man's land of wanting to go for academia to prove to myself and everybody I can do it and do a really stimulating job, and keep pushing myself, and live my life aiming the highest I could, though at the same time, I HATE pressure to succeed, and as I said, i'm not really that type of person who could survive in a dog eat dog environment.
I want to go for academia because I love learning for learning's sake and I love self-improvement, and finding out new things and I'm an academic person, but equally I'm a soft hearted person, who was described as " a bleeding heart" and "dreamy" at work once, with a very strong human interest and I love helping people and making it all alright. I wouldn't know what branch to specialise in either. I'm more a tea and sympathy type person than a kind of blood and gore person. My uncle's wife is an A&E/ theatre nurse and some of the high drama stories she tells me are hair-raising!
I'm so confused and worried about deciding. If i do another undergrad degree after this, I'm sure people will think I've lost the plot myself! Will I even get any funding for nursing if I've just done a degree course this year? I feel as though I have a more realistic idea of academia/teaching warts and all, but ironically, this is what's turning me off, but also making me want to do it, because it's been "me" for so long now. But on the other hand, if I had to get up at 5am to write an essay or look after a sick person, I'd choose the latter instantaneously. I don't know what to make of it all, I've been in such a state about this for so long, going from one thing to another and fitting in nowhere, that sometimes I wonder if i'll ever make a go of anything!! Anybody have any advice or experiences to share? xx
Where do I start? I have just graduated with an English degree and have good qualifications. The plan was to become an English teacher, after lots of school experience and after a year out, doing a pgce. It's all gone wrong. After me spending lots of time on the TES forum, and being around teachers and working in school, i've realised it's probably not for me, and become disenchanted with it. I may well still apply just to have a fallback, but my heart's not in it and I'm going to pursue my educational interest by doing an MRes and studying educational research and go onto a PhD....
Um, i think...
Except I'm not sure that it's right for me. Or what is at all right for me..:s
I'm in the (un)fortunate position of being 'the bright person' in a largely uneducated working-class family. My parents had ambitions for me, hell, I'VE got ambitions for me. On paper at least, I should have a great job by now. I don't.
And I've concluded that the fault lies with me. Although academically, I'm a reach for the stars kind of gal, I could never do any kind of corporate job and wouldn't last a day. Personally and I suppose politically it's the type of thing I'm against (I've always worked in social care, kids, charity, young offenders, schooly type places) I'm not money motivated, and I'm a happy go-lucky, likeable, lighthearted joker, who likes a laugh and loves people and talking nineteen to the dozen, and in the workplace, as in life, I put people first. Sometimes to a fault, complaining to managers that people are unhappy at work or that somebody made them cry or feel uncomfortable, or getting on my soap box about people's working conditions or people being bullied or taken advantage of in the workplace. I refuse to ever let somebody at work be "accountable" or accuse anybody or be horrible and point blank refuse to grass anybody up at work. As long as everybody's happy it's the main thing. This is why I lasted one day at law school....
Because I'm a people person (to use that dread term!) I've always wanted to work in the caring professions. Although I can appear outwardly tough (my choice might surprise some), I'm a right softie. Before I realised I was crap at science, I wanted to be a shrink. I've always liked to help and care for people and support them emotionally. My ex-boyfriend's medical histories have been as chequered as my work history! It's become a standing joke among friends, but it's all good. I think I'm quite sympathetic and I've always been the kind of person that people confide in. I know everybody's sexual issues and what medication they're on, what dosage and why their relationship is breaking down and how much debt they're in, etc etc, because I think people know I won't judge, I've seen a lot of it before, and I think as long as people are talking and opening up, then it's half of it.
I'm particularly good with men. Don't ask me why or how, but I know things about most men that their girlfriends or wives don't know! I've got brothers and was close to my dad who was very open emotionally, and gave me the gift of talking about feelings head on and directly without shame. Most of my close friends are male. They often say I've got a caring touch and lots of them thank me for talking to them and helping. I've seen a lot mental health wise (exes, friends family) and I had always wondered what it'd be like to be a mental health nurse.
I think I'd be a good nurse and I always joked that if it were the war, I'd sign up! My gran was a nurse too and I admired her. But until recently I'd never thought about it seriously. People say they could see me BEING a good nurse, but they say also "well can't you do a bit better than that, you'd get bored, why spend 4 years at uni to do that?" I'm in my late 20s and REALLY need to find a career to get settled in. Now nursing, and please don't judge me for this, I've always seen as a very kind of "averagey" career academically. My teachers pooh-poohed the idea at school, telling me "I could do better than that!", mocking a girl who was doing A-levels and wanted to nurse after, saying "She won't need those where she's going!" I was always pushed at school, because I fell into the gifted but lazy category...And if I'm honest, thats what's always turned me off about it, that and the shift work
Yet I didn't understand this because some of the sciency stuff you must need to know as a nurse looks quite hard going to me, as an artsy/languages person, and it's here I wonder if I'll fit in. My friend trained as a nurse and hated it too. Argh!
I know some people who are nurses who just seem to have fallen into it out of lack of anything else to do. I know others who have found their calling. And I promised myself, I'd aim really high, and never end up in another low paid job, or end up working my fingers to the bone like my dad on 12 hour shifts. I always wanted to really make something of myself. My mum keeps saying that if you have the ability you should push yourself. I think that too. I'm stuck in this no-man's land of wanting to go for academia to prove to myself and everybody I can do it and do a really stimulating job, and keep pushing myself, and live my life aiming the highest I could, though at the same time, I HATE pressure to succeed, and as I said, i'm not really that type of person who could survive in a dog eat dog environment.
I want to go for academia because I love learning for learning's sake and I love self-improvement, and finding out new things and I'm an academic person, but equally I'm a soft hearted person, who was described as " a bleeding heart" and "dreamy" at work once, with a very strong human interest and I love helping people and making it all alright. I wouldn't know what branch to specialise in either. I'm more a tea and sympathy type person than a kind of blood and gore person. My uncle's wife is an A&E/ theatre nurse and some of the high drama stories she tells me are hair-raising!
I'm so confused and worried about deciding. If i do another undergrad degree after this, I'm sure people will think I've lost the plot myself! Will I even get any funding for nursing if I've just done a degree course this year? I feel as though I have a more realistic idea of academia/teaching warts and all, but ironically, this is what's turning me off, but also making me want to do it, because it's been "me" for so long now. But on the other hand, if I had to get up at 5am to write an essay or look after a sick person, I'd choose the latter instantaneously. I don't know what to make of it all, I've been in such a state about this for so long, going from one thing to another and fitting in nowhere, that sometimes I wonder if i'll ever make a go of anything!! Anybody have any advice or experiences to share? xx
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Comments
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As a Careers Adviser I'm possibly biased but you sound like someone who's positively crying out for careers guidance. You could start with your university Careers Service , but if you find you need something more in depth, consider investing some money in yourself by paying for a more specialised guidance service.
For the moment, I'd try to get some voluntary work in a hospital, or some paid work as a Nursing Auxiliary - it's a strategy that's worked for you once, so I'd give it another go. You could also look at getting some work in the community as a Care Assistant, particularly if you could find an agency that specialises in working with people with mental health problems. Don't forget that being a basic level nurse wouldn't be your ultimate aim, nursing is a very structured profession and you can go far in it.
I'd just add, that as far as educational research goes, I'd much rather it were done by someone who had actually worked as a teacher. From what I've seen of it, that's often not the case! Good luck.0 -
From what you say - I would suggest you need to investigate becoming a nurse a lot more. The courses are academic, and combine both science and art.
Nurses do work their fingers to the bone for poor pay, and you will be writing assignments at 5am and then going on shift for 12 hours. Can you cope with that?
As a nurse I found your post quite patronising. Go and work as an HCA for a year and then see if nurses are quite averagey.
Have you held a dying teenager? Resusitated someone you know didn't want saving but a consultant hadn't documented that on their notes? Phoned an old lady in the middle of the night to tell her that her husband of 50 years has just died? Been with an HIV positive mother as she is told that her baby has been born infected?0 -
did'nt want to read and run - I am a nurse and work in a male prison - with adults and young offenders - from what you have said, have considered working within the criminal justice system??? it is very academic (am currently doing my MA in medical law and ethics) but is combined with very basic nursing care. it is high pressured (imagine being the only nurse working at night, looking after 300 prisoners and having to cut someone down who is hanging and then being the only member of staff to keep them alive until an ambulance arrives!!)
I know some police station look for volunteers to be an advocate for prisoners and to go in and check on their welfare - maybe look in to that??
just an idea - HTH
jenny0 -
Nursing is emotionally challenging but rewarding, poorly paid and undervalued .It is very academic, and when qualified there is much scope to specialize and progress.
I feel your teachers were misguided as many nurses have A levels and nurse training is a 3 year uni based degree.
I believe before considering nurse training you must consider the poor pay, long hours, thankless, difficult and emotionally stressful situations. mental and physical abuse ( thankfully less physical now) unsocialable shifts, nights, sometimes working all weekend,12 hr shifts, bank hols,working christmas or/and new year, not finishing on time, missed tea and lunch breaks, fear of litigation, short staffed etc etc (however this depends on what kind of nursing you do once trained)
I also feel that a spell of being an HCA should be compulsery for all nursing students.
However after spelling out all the above negatives I must say I enjoy my job, Can't think of wanting to do anything else, even after working my 10th christmas in a row.:o0 -
Hello there,
I know what it feels like to be at a career crossroads, so you are not alone!
I have a PhD in Biochemistry and used to teach 3rd year nursing undergraduates - it is not academically challenging and if you are a bright person (as your post suggests) then you will have no worries there. It does seem like a suitable fit for your personality and if you are so inclined, I imagine a very rewarding profession.
I have a friend who did a PhD in education and now she works for the government (I'm not sure what she does exactly as she is Spanish and works in Spain - but she did her PhD here). Her PhD involved endless days in the library and long assignments so if you are 'gifted but lazy' then you need to ask whether you would see it through to the end. There is nothing worse than starting a PhD and not finishing it, as you would have a hard time convincing employers that you are not a 'quitter'. Also, how would a PhD be funded? I know science and engineering PhDs tend to get research council funding (I was sponsored by the BBSRC) but in the arts and humanities funding is hard to come by.
Furthermore, you need to follow a career path for yourself, not to prove to other people that you can do something. If you feel drawn to nursing then why not volunteer as an auxillary, as some people have already suggested? Then you will get a feel for whther it's right or not. Nursing may not be the most academically challenging job, but it's certainly difficult in other ways. Not many nurses could be rocket scientists, but then how many rocket scientists could be nurses either?!
Good luck!The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.0 -
Thanks for all of your replies, everybody. I think a lot of what you are saying is right. And the fact that I'm not always that motivated makes me wonder how I'll cope with a PhD. I've never let my studies slip, per se, but sometimes I'm hardly firing on all cylinders... Yeah, I'm crying out for some careers guidance. Hey maybe I should be a careers advisor! I've done enough bloody reading about careers in my time!
I think I've got to a point you know, where I've probably read too much and each time I do something, theres 100 people who love it and say "yeah its great" and 100 people who hate it and want out!
I don't know how I'll cope with the science aspect of nursing as it's my worst subject, but I see some people coping okay with it. If i did nursing I'd probably do mental health. Some of the more hair raising aspects of it don't really scare me too much because of my background, but I could never do anything like Midwifery or paediatrics! THATS really scary! I've seen varying info about entry requirements. I have over 5 A*-C grades, but no science. Will I be turned down?
I've some background in care, which ironically has put me off, as some of the jobs there as you know, are messy to say the least. But I reminded myself I wouldn't be changing people 24/7 in nursing as this made up most of my time.
I have two friends who are nurses and i think i'm going to talk to them. Thanks for your replies, everybody!0 -
What stuck out for is the English and teaching side, that would be more than enough to get into e-learning, you would be ideal working on educational design. And there is currently a shortage of Instructional designers out there.
Its interesting and varied work, just another idea to throw into the pot.0 -
I used to think that if something didn't feel right it wasn't right - but my experiences have taught me different. When I was training as a midwife I swore I would never actually practise as a midwife because I hated it. I did stay on after qualifying because I had worked so hard to finish the course - so glad I did.
Some time ago I had some time out from my career deciding that I wanted to do something else. I had to go back reluctantly for financial reasons and it felt all wrong. How glad I am that I did go back. I am so happy. I am in a different maternity unit. I get to do something I love every day.
You say that you have lots of experience in school, and with other teachers but that has been as a student. What does it feel like to be teacher yourself? You don't know. All the work you have done. Why not carry on down the path - take a job, choose a great school, and have some time to really discover if it is for you or not. You will be earning and have time to think. What is the rush?
You sound like a wonderful inspiring person. I wish you success whatever path you choose.
Ana0 -
Sorry to jump in on this, but DKLS, you say there are shortages of Instructional designers, in e- learning -where would I find out about such jobs? I'm an English teacher who fled the mainstream secondary school teaching for Further ed - better, but less hours and not such a reliable income.
I'm now 8 years off official state pension retirement (but more like 10 years off actual retirement due to having no pension:() so I need a bit of a boost in income for a while. My son is doing his third year out of uni at an e-learning company (in Brighton - supposed to be the largest concentration of e-learning companies in the country) but most of the staff there appear to be developers (as he is) - so I can't seem to see a way in! Have looked at Wired Sussex (shows IT jobs in the county), but never seem to see anything that doesn't require a BSc in computing at least! I do teach computing in a beginner users kind of way and am a big computer user and net user but not a techie person! Any ideas ? All suggestions will be greatly appreciated!0 -
Mrs money Try :
http://www.e-learningjobcentre.co.uk/jobs.htm
Will try and dig out a few more links
http://www.jobrapido.co.uk/?q=e%20learning0
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